Thursday, November 24, 2022 :::

silent spi
 

 the beach is so creepy right now 


::: posted by tinafish at 9:20 PM :::


Sunday, November 20, 2022 :::

fan-fucking-tastic
 

our water heater has been kinda broken for years now.
the water heater itself has a little circuit breaker built into it and that gets tripped sometimes. seems it happens most often when it's cold. and it'll be fine for months then trip a couple of times a day sometimes (not often).
the bf found that we could replace some shit in the water heater and we maybe wouldn't need to buy a new one.
so he tries to do that on friday evening and now not only is the water heater clogged (never did get it to fully drain) but the intake pipe is leaking.
we called a plumber yesterday but they didn't have anyone available and said they'd be out today between 16 and 18.
not here yet.

so I just haven't had a shower since friday morning.
we'll prolly rent a hotel room tonight if it's not fixed since the bf has work tomorrow and has to go into the office.

in other news, that beam stuff has helped immensely.
doesn't really make me sleepy but it has helped SO MUCH with the anxiety.
so I can actually fall asleep instead of simmer in existential dread.

oh also, I had the best fucking meal simple earlier today!
Pork Medallions with Apple Herb Butter, Butternut Squash & Apple Blend & Pecan Praline
if you get the chance, you should def try it. I already put another in my cart lol.

::: posted by tinafish at 5:53 PM :::


Tuesday, November 15, 2022 :::

qq why???
 

took the day off for the mistborn 7 release.... qq


::: posted by tinafish at 3:15 PM :::


Wednesday, October 26, 2022 :::

life goes on
 

the bf and I were working at the same company for a couple of years, and for the last year or so his office had been right across the hall from mine.
we worked fairly closely and also got to shoot the shit and go to lunch together, etc.

well, the bastard got a new job.
started last monday.

the new place jumped at the chance to have him (as someone who worked with him, who wouldn't?)
had to rush to get my truck sorted (heat in particular, but lots of shit was wrong)
and now just all day I don't get to see him.
honestly, I miss him more as an engineer than as my SO. like I'm always telling him, "good help is hard to find."

in other news, school is progressing.
I just bought (as in about 3 mins ago) a new laptop - an m2 macbook air.
since we don't have lunch together anymore I've been using my lunch hour on schoolwork.
fixing to also buy a set of the nreal glasses to really get to "spread out" schoolwork at work.
the boss even got me a fancy L-desk for more room (unrelated to the schoolwork/laptop just this nice desk was sitting unused in another office)

I'm excited about getting schoolwork done in the mornings and at lunch - I've been reading textbooks during my hour on the treadmill in the mornings.

oh.
sleep.
still having trouble.
earlier this week I ordered some beam sleep powder that should be arriving... oh nice - tomorrow.
I wanna test it out on a friday and saturday before using it on a work night.
here's hoping it helps.
honestly, I don't even care if it's a placebo if I could regain my superpower.

::: posted by tinafish at 6:41 PM :::


Tuesday, October 04, 2022 :::

my happy place
 

 I”ve been trying self-guided meditation for a while now and trying to imagine a safe/happy place… it’s always been some kind of lazy creek with a shaded hammock.

it’s occurred to me though… laying here wrapped up in blankets, listening to the bf snoring softly with the fan and air purifier running, this is my happy place.

wild.


::: posted by tinafish at 6:54 AM :::


Sunday, October 02, 2022 :::

crippling anxiety
 

 I dunno wtf is wrong with me anymore... seems I'm always halfway to a panic attack and living like this is terrible


::: posted by tinafish at 4:19 PM :::


Monday, September 12, 2022 :::

my disappointment is immeasurable and my day is ruined
 

 came home from work eager to eat some salmon pinwheels I got on friday…

apparently over the weekend we got trashed and I had the salmon pinwheels on saturday =/


::: posted by tinafish at 7:38 PM :::


Tuesday, August 23, 2022 :::

oof
 

 it’s always wild, eh?


::: posted by tinafish at 8:01 PM :::


Sunday, July 31, 2022 :::

/me gestures broadly
 

we've been bleeding people at the office... the last few months have been wild.
and now I'm just a ball of anxiety wondering who is gonna leave next.

::: posted by tinafish at 1:45 PM :::


Sunday, June 26, 2022 :::

gotta be asleep to believe it
 

paid off my student loans as of this month.

been looking at houses in the valley.

got a raise without having to ask.

they fired two guys I worked really closely with.

fucking roe v wade.

starting school again on july 1.

we need a plan.


::: posted by tinafish at 9:47 AM :::


Sunday, May 08, 2022 :::

mortality
 

came home to see my mom for mother’s day… she’s not doing well, y’all.


::: posted by tinafish at 6:07 AM :::


Monday, March 14, 2022 :::

regret
 

 I really wish I'd spent time in the kitchen with my sisters.. 


::: posted by tinafish at 4:22 PM :::