Sunday, November 23, 2003 :::

he's not a drunk

Well this blog's popularity has certainly risen in the last few days since all the drama btwn me and my ex (BoB).
I can't say it's something I expected.

In about 2 hours I received 5 im's from people I don't know asking about my blog. And they had all taken BoB's side.

For some reason everyone thinks he's a drunk.

Now if you go back and read what I wrote all I said is that he drinks. I never said he drinks a lot. You must keep in mind that I have not seen him almost 2 years, and contact between us has been sporadic. I don't know much about what he does anymore. And while it may sound like he drinks a lot, it's not the amount he consumes that bothers me. What bothers me is that he's consuming at all.

I have nothing against anyone who drinks; most of my friends do. It's just not something I look for in someone I'm dating. That may sound like a lot to ask of someone but I really don't think I'm too picky; all I look for is someone who doesn't drink, doesn't smoke, and has strong religious opinions. Now when I say strong religious opinions that's all I want. I don't care what you believe (or don't believe) in, just as long as you're comfortable enough to discuss your beliefs and hold your ground. I can ~not~ stand when someone has "faith" just 'cause they were told to.

That aside. BoB is a good guy. He really is. I have nothing against him, and would even go so far as to say I love him. What he and I had was a wonderful thing, for the most part. Everything was forgivable for years and years. I have nothing bad to say about him.

So then why are he and I not together?
I could tell you, but to use this medium would be ridiculous.

And another question I've gotten a lot is: "Why are you with David?"
I love David. And yes, I did say I love BoB. And I do. Just differently. What BoB and I had was... young and naive and uncontrollable. What I have with David is... fierce and consuming, empowering and complete.

"What's so great about him?"
One thing that I love about David... possibly the thing I hold most dear... he holds me when I cry. Things have been rough for me this past year... not getting through the lvn program, the constant drama with both my home life and my family here, the things I'm going through at work, and my mixed feelings for BoB... Sometimes it's almost too much for me to deal with all at once, especially since a few years ago my future looked ~so~ bright. And he holds me - he wipes my tears and hugs me and listens to what I'm trying to deal with. He is the person I can lean on. And I pray to God that I am strong enough to hold him when he needs to lean on me.

Now that I've reviewed the FAQs I'm going to also mention that BoB does not want to be contacted. Please if you have anything to say, whether it be to just let him know you think he's right, please don't email or message him.
This is my blog and all my contact information is on here so feel free to contact me, just leave him be. Thanks.

::: posted by tinafish at 5:16 AM :::