Wednesday, August 17, 2005 :::

alone in the dark

I've been single for a few months now. and I'm really proud of myself, ya know? I'd never been single for more than a few days, not since I started dating, anyway.
I seem to have fallen back into my routine - get home, wash dishes, make dinner, read or watch a movie, then go to bed.
and I'm fine with that (which is also new to me).

last night, though... I didn't get to sleep for a while.
for the first time in months I was wishing there was someone laying next to me.
weird, huh?
since justin I hadn't found anyone I was that into - no one I wanted to share much of my time with, much less my bed.
when I woke up this afternoon I was hugging my pillow and had my bear under my head.

I had this realization a while back, about how I've been missing david for two years even though we only broke up a year ago.
since then I hadn't looked back. everything made more sense and I felt a lot better.
I'm not sure if this is me not wanting to be alone or me wanting david again.
not to say I ever stopped wanting him.
looking back, if I could change anything, I really don't think I would.
but I sure do miss him calling me his little burrito.

::: posted by tinafish at 7:16 PM :::