Thursday, July 27, 2006 :::

right beside me in all of my sweet dreams

lus and I went to see clerks 2 last night.
I liked it a lot.
he... not so much.
then we went to ihop - oh man there was such a crowd. and the waitress tried to sit us at this itty bitty table wedged btwn a booth and another bite size table.
we decided to go to walmart for stuff, to wait out the crowd. I bought some horchata juice (yeah... I still haven't tried it, but I'll let you know)
so then back to ihop, yum!

I don't hold grudges.
and I don't think it's 'cause I don't care enough to really get upset at anyone.
I was very angry at BoB for at least 6 months.
and my david for a good 6 months as well.
but I guess I just don't think staying angry is good.
life's too short (and fragile) to stay mad at someone.
but what lus and I talked about made me think... and I think maybe my last best friend, joe, may have felt that way.
and now that makes a bit more sense to me.

::: posted by tinafish at 1:06 PM :::

Wednesday, July 26, 2006 :::

holding him and loving you

my birthday is next month.
I've invited spock is awesome to come into town
my brother wants me to go to dallas
my mother wants me to go home
my sister wants us to do something special
my dad's chick wants to do I-don't-even-remember-what
and the one thought that's filling up my mind...
he doesn't have my phone number.
how's he going to call?

::: posted by tinafish at 11:45 AM :::

Tuesday, July 25, 2006 :::

gawd it's been a long morning

so I was up 'till about 0600 this morning...
and I slept for about half an hour, ~maybe~ an hour, when I woke up with a nose bleed.
go back to sleep
wake up with a nose bleed
go back to sleep
wake up with a nose bleed
all. morning. long.
so now I'm at work, and I'm dead tired.
and I'm more than just a bit concerned my nose is gonna start bleeding.

::: posted by tinafish at 12:23 PM :::

soldiers of the abyss

sarah's birthday was on saturday, and as I said we rented a room.
we played some soul cal 3, some tekken 5, and some tmnt.
aaaaaaand we watched indiana jones~
it was great fun, and I had these... really awesome... oh gawd, I can't remember what they're called. they're a girly drink made by jack daniels... omg they were ~amazing~
I was sad sarah didn't like 'em, but I drank them all.
indiana jones was great fun - I'm gonna agree with sarah and say the last one is the best.

I've also got all these screenshots I wanna share, but ugh this whole not-having-a-real-site is annoying.
I need a copy of photoshop to rebuild my photos folder, and I need a copy of dreamweaver for... well, everything else, really.
and the thing that made mcrough so awesome, since I doubt I'll be able to get all this worked out very soon - he got me a prairie dog.
not irl, in WoW... but let me tell you he must have gone through a load of trouble for it.

oh and another thing, before I go - comments are down...
and yes, I freely admit, I've been spending my free time (and some not-so-free-time) playing WoW instead of working on my site... but it's quite frustrating w/out having the apps I'm familiar with.
and I think I may be paying for 3 hosting plans atm... I've gotta remember to look into that.
think I'm gonna keep whichever one has cpanel, though it's not the same cpanel I'm used to.

I love you sam!
I promise I'll pay you for hosting if you let me!

::: posted by tinafish at 5:16 AM :::

Friday, July 21, 2006 :::

strange names and strange games

tomorrow is sarah's birthday and I just finished reserving a hotel room~
I'm stoked... think I'm gonna head up there right at check in time and lounge about in the tub.
depending on what time I get up tomorrow.
which depends on what time I go to bed tonight.
and we all know that depends how much WoW I play.

slave just told me... "you have this streak of meanness that the pope fighting a demon wouldn't see"
and not 10 seconds after that he says "you define the 8th level of hell at times"
he's claiming I've been mean to him all week, but can not recall anything in particular.
convenient, eh?
I think he's just pouty 'cause I spend a lot of time playing WoW now, and not so much time chatting with him.
he got a diff job and therefore different hours, so I can't help not seeing him very often.

::: posted by tinafish at 2:29 PM :::

Wednesday, July 19, 2006 :::

it liiiiiiiiiives!

so this is it for now... but yay!
it's better than nothing, ya?
and I'll spend a good portion of tonight trying to see what I backed up on my external drive... to see what I can save and what I can't.

but ugh these blogger templates are gross.

::: posted by tinafish at 6:24 PM :::


I was able to publish for the first time in aaaaaages~
I'm so happy.
now I've just gotta wait for the dns changes to go through.

::: posted by tinafish at 1:21 PM :::

*crossing fingers*

well my friend sam has offered to host fishykisses for me...
hopefully I can get a hosting company worked out before too long - don't wanna just mooch off him 'cause this is what he does.
anyhow... I do think it's really awesome of him... and I've pretty much lost everything I hadn't backed up... so I'll start working on restoring as much as I can.

I'll keep ya updated, and hopefully this'll work.

::: posted by tinafish at 1:09 PM :::

Tuesday, July 18, 2006 :::

candy apple red rodeo

so sarah's birthday is coming up, and I think we're gonna rent a room, buy some booze, and stay up all night watching indiana jones.
or possibly playing tekken.
there's no telling.

she's going to dallas a couple of weeks before my birthday, and I'm hoping we can ride down together.
I dunno how that'll work out with the office... but I guess we'll see.

no news from this new hosting company slave recommended... so I dunno wtf.
I've got these screenshots I wanna post and it's totally not working!

::: posted by tinafish at 8:45 PM :::

Monday, July 17, 2006 :::

but I don't believe in fate...

mcrough is ~the~ awesomest person ever.
seriously - ever.
you can not begin to understand how sad I am that my site is still down.

speaking of - I totally signed up for a new hosting company (so I can show you exactly how awesome mcrough is), but for whatever reason I haven't recieved the uh... verification phone call (yeah - I dunno wtf)...
I wonder if it's a sign?
.oO(did I mention my brother found my site?)

::: posted by tinafish at 4:21 PM :::

Friday, July 14, 2006 :::

krypto nite

so I talked to my brother for a bit tuesday night... it seems he's found my site.
and mostly I was ok with that.
I mean... this is who I am.
all the choices I've ever made have led me to this... jumbled mix that I'm mostly quite proud of.

my mother called me on wednesday.
he must have given her my number.
my goodness this changes everything.

it's going to be looked at as a lie...
everything I've not told my family.
the thing is, it's not so much a lie as me just not telling them.
I was damn torn up when things went to hell with david.
and I didn't take that break up very well.
but it could have been worse.
for all the time I spent drowning in a bottle, I'm ok now.
don't get me wrong, I still drink some - but it's so different.
not only do I not drink very often, nor nearly as much, but I don't drink to get away.
it's usually me & sarah just out for a few hours. and I don't drive when I've been drinking.

but I'm already such a disappointment to everyone.
to myself, much deeper and more painful than I like to admit.
on one hand I still haven't finished school. hell I'm not even ~in~ school at the moment. I've only ever had 2 real relationships, and both failed miserably. I've managed to eventually alienate every best friend I've ever had. and my faith is not what it used to be.
on the other... I'm happy not being in a relationship - for the first time in my life. I'm not in school, but I do read a lot and that's something I missed. I try to trust more than I used to. and while my faith is not what it used to be, it's still there and a big part of my life.

so why am I so freaked out about my family seeing this place?
because everything I haven't told them... it's not that I'm necessarily hiding it from them, but that I feel it's disrespectful to flaunt such things in front of them.
yes I curse. no I don't curse around any of my family. not because I am trying to make them believe I don't curse, but because I don't think it's appropriate to do that around them.
and what's worse - what will be seen as me trying to hide all of this... my site is down.
/me sigh

::: posted by tinafish at 1:20 PM :::

Thursday, July 13, 2006 :::

dokie doke

I went to see the new pirates of the carribean with doke last night...
the movie, imo, was a waste.
mister pretty boy was whiney as ever
the chick was... too conniving
and johnny depp was too cartoony.
and gawd the movie was long.
overall, I didn't like it. and I'm sad that I didn't.

after the movie we headed to walmart for some freeze dried food (he's going camping this coming weekend), but ended up with a load of juice (I shall not give up on finding my grail of awesome juice) and cookies.
and I bought stuff to make sandwiches, but only the loaf of bread made it home with me.

and work is slow
so I was going through my bag
found my wallet
and apparently it's been a while since I've looked in my wallet...
I've got an I-love-you note from david.

::: posted by tinafish at 1:20 PM :::

Wednesday, July 12, 2006 :::

directions from a genie in a bottle of jim beam

so I thought I was having a bad day at work yesterday... but it was cake compared to mcrough's day.
my site's still down, and I've given up on the email I sent the new hosting co... so I've submitted a ticket and we'll see how that goes.
I'm gonna go see the new pirates movie with doke this evening... I'm pretty stoked.
and the kids left this morning. I'm sad, but that's how these things go.

I don't really have anything to say.
I'm actually really frustrated about this whole hosting thing, and I didn't know I would be.
what's funnier is that they sent out an email the weekend before the transfer, and I thought about backing up... but I didn't.
so ya.. I'm upset.
serves me right.

::: posted by tinafish at 1:30 PM :::

Tuesday, July 11, 2006 :::

for better or [really] worse

my site's been down since the weekend, and I mailed my hoting co about it yesterday.
they've been bought out, and when I mailed them I actually got a bounce back.
so I went over the email I got saying they'd been bought... the mailto: link wasn't set up properly. not a good sign.
so I mailed my new bigger better hosting co...
and they changed something.
they made it worse.

before I could still log into my cpanel... got all sorts of errors and I couldn't really do anything, but I could get logged in.
now. after the email. I can't even get logged in.
nor can I get logged into my pepper site, but that one at least is still up.

so here I am, on the verge of looking for a new hosting co... without a proper backup in 6 months.
/me sigh
I guess it may be karma - for all those times I've teased r00 about losing all his stuff due to not backing up regularly.
really all I'll lose is the stuff in /images/ and my 404 page that I love so much.
but I guess when it comes down to it I did back that up 6 months ago.
and my blog is so much more important to me, and all of it is backed up on blogger's servers.
(I say that now, and I can just see blogger's servers spontaneously combusting)

I think I'm gonna give this new hosting co 'till the end of the week... then mostly likely I'll see about moving somewhere else.

::: posted by tinafish at 12:32 PM :::

Sunday, July 09, 2006 :::

the scars on my knuckles

I just got back from meeting up with kyle...
it's so weird.
I feel like... I dunno. I get the feeling he's got a 5 and 10 year plan.
my plans all got derailed a while back, and I'v still not been able to get them back on track.
anyhow - I doubt I'll be seeing him again.
I had all this stuff planned out - stuff I wanted to talk about.
but I don't think I will.

I will say that I love my friends, for what we think is cool, for what they think is cool, and especially for everything in between.

::: posted by tinafish at 10:49 PM :::

more excited than I can rationalize

I have had an absolutely woderful day... and the two high points revolve around cats.
1. sometime this afternoon we got a siamese cat for my gnome.
2. I am currently picking out my mount for my rogue.

seriously - this is a really big deal to me.

::: posted by tinafish at 5:15 AM :::

Friday, July 07, 2006 :::

well I thought it was scary...

I had this nightmare last night...
and it was quite frantic, I promise
I was searching and searching and searching
but I couldn't ever find
a matching pair of socks.

now I know that seems pretty ridiculous, but I'm about ocd when it comes to socks.
I love that fresh-out-of-the-package, new sock feeling... and mostly I throw my old socks away... like... 3 months after first use.
it's kinda weird, I know... but it's me.
I hafta fight the urge to pick up a package of new socks every time I go to walmart (or any other store that sells socks)
so yes... that was my nightmare.

what else?
not much has been going on... I'm still playing WoW most of the time.
got in a fight with my sister last night, for a pretty dumb reason.
aaaaaaaand... that's really it.
all this WoW I'm playing doesn't make for interesting blog posts, huh.
think me & lus are getting together on saturday, and I've pretty much made plans with kyle for sunday night.
overall I'm quite content to just sit at home playing WoW 'till sunrise, w/out having to bother with dating.
both lus & I are quite proud of me.

... well... with the me-not-having-to-date bit, not the me-turning-into-an-mmo-whore bit.

::: posted by tinafish at 12:09 PM :::

Thursday, July 06, 2006 :::

be our guuueeeessssst

Angela Lansbury & Jerry Orbach - Disney's Greatest, Vol. 2 - Be Our Guest

Ma chere Mademoiselle, it is with deepest pride
and greatest pleasure that we welcome you tonight.
And now we invite you to relax, let us pull up a
chair as the dining room proudly presents - your dinner!
Be our guest!
Be our guest!
Put our service to the test
Tie your napkin 'round your neck, cherie
And we provide the rest
Soup du jour
Hot hors d'oeuvres
Why, we only live to serve
Try the grey stuff

It's delicious

Don't believe me? Ask the dishes
They can sing
They can dance
After all, Miss, this is France
And a dinner here is never second best
Go on, unfold your menu
Take a glance and then you'll
Be our guest
Oui, our guest
Be our guest

Lumiere and Chorus:
Beef ragout
Cheese souffle
Pie and pudding "en flambe"

We'll prepare and serve with flair
A culinary cabaret!
You're alone
And you're scared
But the banquet's all prepared
No one's gloomy or complaining
While the flatware's entertaining
We tell jokes
I do tricks
With my fellow candlesticks

And it's all in perfect taste
That you can bet
Come on and lift your glass
You've won your own free pass
To be out guest

If you're stressed
It's fine dining we suggest

Lumiere and Chorus:
Be our guest!
Be our guest!
Be our guest!

Life is so unnerving
For a servant who's not serving
He's not whole without a soul to wait upon
Ah, those good old days when we were useful
Suddenly those good old days are gone
Ten years we've been rusting
Needing so much more than dusting
Needing exercise, a chance to use our skills
Most days we just lay around the castle
Flabby, fat and lazy
You walked in and oops-a-daisy!

Be our guest!

Be our guest!

Mrs Potts:
It's a guest!
It's a guest!
Sakes alive, well I'll be blessed!
Wine's been poured and thank the Lord
I've had the napkins freshly pressed
With dessert
She'll want tea
And my dear that's fine with me
While the cups do their soft-shoein'
I'll be bubbling, I'll be brewing
I'll get warm
Piping hot
Heaven's sakes! Is that a spot?
Clean it up! We want the company impressed

We've got a lot to do!

Mrs Potts:
Is it one lump or two?
For you, our guest!

She's our guest!

Mrs Potts:
She's our guest!

She's our guest!
Be our guest! Be our guest! Be our guest!

Be our guest
Be our guest
Our command is your request
It's been years since we've had anybody here
And we're obsessed
With your meal
With your ease
Yes, indeed, we aim to please
While the candlelight's still glowing
Let us help you
We'll keep going
Course by course
One by one
'Til you shout, "Enough! I'm done!"
Then we'll sing you off to sleep as you digest
Tonight you'll prop your feet up
But for now, let's eat up
Be our guest!
Be our guest!
Be our guest!
Please, be our guest!

::: posted by tinafish at 10:32 PM :::

Wednesday, July 05, 2006 :::

"I'd like the truckers' combo"

went to ihop w/ lus, jordan, and a buddy of jordan's.
we all got there ~ 0230... and lus & I left ~ 0630.
and it was about an hour longer before I got into bed.

did I tell ya'll that sarah asked me to be in her wedding?
I totally don't remember if I did or not...
anyhow - I'm really stoked.

so I've been half-heartedly working on this since about 1300, so I'm gonna publish now and see if anything else comes to mind later.

::: posted by tinafish at 6:02 PM :::

Tuesday, July 04, 2006 :::

just like old times

so BoB and I got in the biggest fight we've ever had.
including the 8 years we dated.
including the 4 years since we split.
the biggest. fight. ever.
and you know, it felt remarkably good... the familiarity of it all...
no doubt I was angry, and so was he, but we both knew where it was going.
and it was fun to pull out stuff that happened 10 years ago, ya know? lol
so we fought and now we're fine again.
it's always a toss up as to how it'll go with him, but we do tend to fight around our birthdays.
/me shrug

and ugh it's been another late night - 2 this week, eh?
I'm a machine!
a [sleep deprived] machine!
so uh... I'm going to bed... 'cause it's late.
happy 4th of july, ya'll

::: posted by tinafish at 6:01 AM :::

Monday, July 03, 2006 :::


well, I'm awake.
and showered.
and nothing to do.
but um... at least I won't be late for work?

... ooh milkdud's on WoW.

::: posted by tinafish at 6:35 AM :::

Sunday, July 02, 2006 :::

well now I've done it...

::: posted by tinafish at 6:30 AM :::