Friday, March 30, 2007 :::

silent night, silent death

the office is exceptionally spooky when I'm here all alone.
sure would be nice if I had some ice cream.
*glares in budd's general direction*

::: posted by tinafish at 8:46 PM :::

Thursday, March 29, 2007 :::

only one looked back

budd and I hit the wall last night.
the wall that is WoW.
he wouldn't quit and I felt he put the game before me (it's complicated, but for once it's not completely irrational of me).
I still think the resolution of this conflict is shit, and that we're just prolonging the inevitable.
but how can I just walk away from a guy who knows he'll get farther with the latest star trek book than with a dozen roses?

::: posted by tinafish at 9:51 AM :::

Wednesday, March 28, 2007 :::

don't think we ever really moved on

I'm always saying you can't regret things you learn from.
what about things I didn't do because I wanted to avoid conflict?
I do believe that's something I'll end up regretting.
but I guess, for now, it's for the best.

::: posted by tinafish at 8:22 AM :::

Tuesday, March 27, 2007 :::

shake that booty

so woooooooh for work!
I believe I will try to last here until june, when sarah quits.
that way we can quit together, and I'm sure it'll be much more fun.
I hope she's quitting in june... otherwise I may end up quitting alone.
we're getting a new phone system sometime soon, complete with monitored calls and call times.

I read the first harry potter book last night.
I believe I like it more than the first earthsea book.
mostly because magic isn't quite as spooky in the harry potter world as it is in the earthsea world.
I also finally finished atlas shrugged, and I just started the god delusion.
my WoW subscription's up today, so no turning back.
besides, I've got enough books to last me a while.

::: posted by tinafish at 10:05 AM :::

Saturday, March 24, 2007 :::

the only voice she hears is telling her she can't

I dunno. I feel better, but I'm still restless.
more and more I dunno what to do about budd.
don't get me wrong; he's wonderful. he really is.
I think it's me.

I cancelled WoW [again]. even uninstalled it. so my drive's got an extra 7 gigs of space.
I'm not sure why I cancelled, though.
I mean, I know it was a tantrum. but I'm not sure what exactly set me off.
well.. that's not true, either.
budd did shit in WoW while I was in new mexico.
I knew he would, I suppose.
I guess, though, since the reason I play is to do things with him... I guess that's why I was mad.
he's always saying he likes playing with me, but he can obviously play just fine without me.
reminds me a lot of adrian, honestly.
and there's a reason adrian and I aren't dating anymore.
... or is there? lol. I remember being restless back then, too, but at least he had the sense to put down his mmo when I asked him to.
is that what I'm upset about? that budd continues to defy me by refusing to quit WoW?
didn't I say I didn't want to change him? that relationships should not be the dictatorship I always turn them into?
isn't what I love most about him...? isn't it that I'm sincerely trying to be honest with him. and that he accepts me anyway?
or am I just telling myself that? I am just bored again?
I'm tired of lubbock, but I won't leave because budd's here.
lol I know, I know; I said I wouldn't make any decisions based on the guys I date.
honestly I've never trusted anyone but BoB with as much of me as I've told budd.
on the same note, I was closer to nicc than I am with either BoB or budd.
and where did that get me, eh?
my heirarchy of trust needs to be re-evaluated. should not go from nicc to BoB to budd to my last best friend. especially since 3 of the 4 aren't exactly constants in my life. nor should they be. come to think of it, none of them are.
shouldn't I trust someone who will always be there?
but who? do I even have any constants in my life?
do I really want any? or would that just add to my restlessness?

::: posted by tinafish at 9:25 PM :::

Friday, March 23, 2007 :::


so I survived my trip, and ugh the ride back was trying.
super bad hail storm that was so bad I turned around and went back and waited for it to pass.
fun times, really.
aside from the drive to and from (which I actually enjoyed) I had a really good time with spock is awesome.
suuuuuuch a halo fanboy.
and I got him to buy god of war (woooooh!).
I picked up a couple of "graphic novels" and he gave me a couple of rvb dvds.
he seems really sweet, and I believe there's a univ there. so maybe if I get riled up enough I'll move there.
it'd suck, I'm pretty certain, but it wouldn't be as bad as moving back home. and I would like to get out of lubbock.
the other obvious place would be further north, but gawd knows I can't stand cold weather.

::: posted by tinafish at 12:36 PM :::

Wednesday, March 21, 2007 :::

zomg road trip

woooooh wish me luck, ya'll!
if ya haven't heard from me in 2 days... well... I leave my hamsters to you, budd.
my books to my neice (the kid) and my coffee table to my sis.

::: posted by tinafish at 11:59 PM :::

Monday, March 19, 2007 :::

ain't that the truth

my weekend was kinda shitty. and honestly today has been kinda shitty too.

::: posted by tinafish at 4:05 PM :::

Saturday, March 17, 2007 :::


my priest & my rogue are naked, with everything in their bags and all their gold gone.

::: posted by tinafish at 7:00 PM :::

Thursday, March 15, 2007 :::

because I'm waiting on budd to get here so we can have lunch

Psychoanalyze Yourself. Answer the following questions with the first thought that comes to mind. Then read which each answer means. *NO CHEATING*

1. You are not alone. You are walking in the woods. With who?
2. You are walking in the woods. You see an animal. What kind of animal is it?
a squirrel~
3. What interaction takes place between you and the animal?
probably try to feed it something
4. You walk deeper in the woods. You enter a clearing and before you is your dream house. How big is it?
hm... dream house... probably a bit bigger than the house I grew up in, with higher ceilings and more windows
5. Is your dream house surrounded by a fence?
I'd say a half fence around the porch is about necessary, but if I'm in the woods I wouldn't have a fence btwn the house and the trees
6. You enter the house. You walk into the dining room and see the dining room table. What do you see on AND around it?
bowl of fruit ftw!
7. You exit the house and a cup is on the ground, what kind is it?
round. as in no jagged edges.
8. What do you do with the cup?
unless I'm the last one who used the cup I'd probably leave it there (hate not finding things where I left them)
9. You walk to the edge of the property where you find yourself standing at the edge of a body of water. what kind of body of water is it?
I miss the open water. I'd love to live by the coast - I'm gonna vote for an ocean
10. How will you cross the water?
lol boat? airplane? how else do you cross an ocean?


1. The person who you are walking in the woods with is the most important person in your life.

2. The size of the animal is representative of your perception of the size of your problems in your life.

3. The severity of the interaction you have with the animal is representative of how you deal with your problems.

4. The size of your dream home is representative of the size of your ambition to solve your problems.

5. A lack of a fence is indicative of an open personality. People are welcome at all times. The presence of a fence indicates a closed personality. You'd prefer people not drop by unannounced.

6. If your answer did NOT include food, flowers, or people, then you are generally unhappy.

7. The durability of the material with the cup it's made of is representative of the perceived durability of your relationship.

8. Your disposition of the cup is representative of your attitude.

9. The size of the body of water is representative of the size of your sexual desire.

10. How wet you get in crossing the water is indicative of the relative importance of your sex life.

::: posted by tinafish at 1:38 PM :::

Wednesday, March 14, 2007 :::

mmmmmmm kratos

woooh god of war 2 is in today, and I've picked up my copy.
I went to gamestop on my lunch break, and then rushed home to play it before coming back to the office.
the sad part: I was just getting to the first boss fight when I was like, "gdi! I hafta go back to work!"
so after work today I believe we're going to ihop, then playing god of war.

::: posted by tinafish at 4:39 PM :::

Tuesday, March 13, 2007 :::

70, 64, 34, and 6 months :P

so big news since my last post, ya?
my priest hit 70 on sunday night.
my rogue hit 64 on saturday night.
my hunter hit 34 last night.
monday was 6 months with budd.
gross, huh?
I guess it's time to change all my profiles from 'single' to 'in a relationship' since this may, after all, last a while.

::: posted by tinafish at 12:12 PM :::

Friday, March 09, 2007 :::

flawed. weak. organic.

I enjoyed the movie last night. my sis wants to see it, so I believe I'll watch it again with her.
I'm sure adrian will watch it at least 5 times (in theaters alone; not counting when he buys it on dvd). he's such a nut for sparta.
and speaking of sparta - god of war 2 is out next week.

::: posted by tinafish at 5:14 PM :::

Thursday, March 08, 2007 :::

wonderous world full of wonderous things

wooh we're fixing to go watch 300.

::: posted by tinafish at 10:20 PM :::

Wednesday, March 07, 2007 :::

so what's that say about me?

budd & I went to see reno911 last night...
I had a good time.
I mean, I laughed a lot... and... I dunno.
stupid humor, ya?
maybe it was the 1 hour I slept that night :P

so last night I had a dream about my brother's ex.
night before last I had a dream about my ex.
wtf, eh?
in my defense, I went to bed absurdly early last night (seriously - by 2300 I was asleep)
and work... well... work is still trying.
I miss milkdud :(

::: posted by tinafish at 1:18 PM :::

Tuesday, March 06, 2007 :::

talk to God like a friend

I had a dream last night about BoB.
he & I used to share dreams, sometimes. like... both have the same dream.
we used to be really close.

I left my house this morning (to come to work) at the same time budd left his apt (to go to work).
I failed to realize that since I live so much closer to the office than he lives to his place of employment, that I'd get here faster.
0735 rolls around and I'm here.
so I went to a gas station. bought gas station burritos that turned out to not be the gas station burritos I was expecting.
and I just had a pretty intricate conversation about ice cream.
actually I'm still having a pretty intricate conversation about ice cream.
(I'm ~really~ sleepy)

::: posted by tinafish at 8:18 AM :::

Saturday, March 03, 2007 :::

cold feet, used socks

so we are one person short at the office now, and I'm kinda sad about it.
what's really bothering me, though, is that I'm wearing used socks.
for the first time in about 4 months I'm wearing socks that aren't fresh out of the package.
and it's gross, let me tell you.

::: posted by tinafish at 8:36 PM :::