Friday, December 21, 2007 :::


so on thanksgiving day, while budd showered and got dressed and eventually went to his parents' for dinner (lunch?), I stayed home and made some high-end ramen and watched roseanne.
the episode on... the daughter with the curly hair and her boyfriend were having macaroni & cheese in their dingy apt. he said something like, "it's totally noncomformist for us to be here eating mac&cheese on thanksgiving, right? it's not... pathetic, or anything... right?"
she says no, and he nods and goes back to eating...

we went out with irby this past weekend, and then on tuesday mcrough came over and played rock band with us.
it was interesting for me to see him (budd) side by side with other guys I've shown interest in.
and I think, for the first time, I was ready to admit that despite all I say, I'm really happy with how things have played out. granted, he's not the knight in shining armor I sometimes wish he was, but he's so much more to me. I'm not looking down at him, and he's not on a pedalstool.
I've been toying with taking him home to meet my family. he doesn't seem particularly put off by it, which kinda surprises me. what surprises me more is that I'm even thinking about it.
friends have asked before if I can see myself marrying him. I've always said "I can, but I can see myself divorcing him, too." I think it's time I clarified something in my head. I think it's more that I have a low value of marriage, not necessarily him.

I dunno why I'm saying all this.
the office is practically empty and there's no one here to talk to.
and it sounds like, from what he's told me, that budd's parents want him to spend christmas with me.

::: posted by tinafish at 8:52 AM :::