Thursday, July 17, 2008 :::


so I took my niece & nephew out to see hellboy 2 tonight.
my neice mentioned, in passing, that she had met my dad's "other" son.
a lifetime of 'y un chamaco' (and one son) collided with fragmented childhood memories of driving by a house and my mother saying 'dog face lives there'
I've always wondered what it'd be like to meet this kid.

it looks like budd and I aren't moving after all.
I'm more than a little disappointed, and while I know it's not his fault or anything, I'm still pretty frustrated about it.
I had this dream a while back about he & I moving and him proposing and what not.
I said no, and then either the dream fast forwarded to (or maybe I just don't remember) BoB and I dancing to neon moon by brooks & dunn, at my wedding (to budd)
it wasn't the BoB that's rummaging about nowadays, but the BoB I grew up.
like, it wasn't him really, more of a memory of him. of who he was.
I dunno.
some days I think budd's the best thing ever, and some days I wonder why we even bother with each other.
we have nothing in common, but I am comfortable with him.
comfortable the way I was comfy with BoB.

I don't think I'll publish this. not for a while, anyway.

::: posted by tinafish at 10:04 PM :::