Sunday, April 03, 2011 :::

but I appreciate the gesture

this past week was one of the longest weeks of my life....
but not really in a bad way :)
I really like the guys I work with, and think they could all be my friends.
and that's super exciting since I've spent the last year with almost no one to talk to (I don't recommend working at home to anyone because of this).
but I'm spending sooooo much money! we go out for lunch every day and then have been going out after work for drinks...
it's great fun, though.
but ugh @ having to wake up at a certain time. being unemployed was so convenient!

so, yes. I've been going out a lot lately.
I met up with a previous coworker on friday.
I think it's kind of amusing how even guys with beer goggles on don't say they wanna fuck me 'cause they're physically attracted to me, but because I'm so much fun to hang out with and have such an awesome personality.
ok, so, I'm not ~actually~ amused. I'm kinda upset about it.
I keep coming back to it over the last couple of days. I can appreciate that a chick may not want to hear that someone wants to fuck her because she's hot... but really? was there a memo sent out or something? from two different guys on the same night?
and I dunno if it's just a pity fuck or what, but a surprising number of guys I know are willing to "console" me after my break up, if you know what I mean.
that's ~kind~ of flattering, only...
one of the guys at work brought up how (in a completely unrelated-to-me conversation, just I'm focusing on retarded things right now and I can't really help it) being told someone wants to fuck you isn't a compliment, since you're just a fuck and not good enough to date.

in the same vein, I've actually had a couple of offers.
like, dating offers.
I'm surprised because after being with budd for so long I hadn't bothered to maintain any ambiguous relationships.
I'm still half convinced he's trolling me, but the one I chose has potential. huge potential. it'll be either great or end terribly.
nothing official for a while longer, but I don't think I'm gonna change my mind. really I'm expecting him to change his mind - it's like we're playing chicken and waiting to see which one of us will swerve.
it's a pretty big change of his role in my life, and I'm not sure he fully understands that.
I really didn't see it coming, and even looking back with 20/20 hindsight I still don't really see it coming.
nothing I love more than a game of chicken.

::: posted by tinafish at 12:38 PM :::