Wednesday, October 26, 2022 :::

life goes on

the bf and I were working at the same company for a couple of years, and for the last year or so his office had been right across the hall from mine.
we worked fairly closely and also got to shoot the shit and go to lunch together, etc.

well, the bastard got a new job.
started last monday.

the new place jumped at the chance to have him (as someone who worked with him, who wouldn't?)
had to rush to get my truck sorted (heat in particular, but lots of shit was wrong)
and now just all day I don't get to see him.
honestly, I miss him more as an engineer than as my SO. like I'm always telling him, "good help is hard to find."

in other news, school is progressing.
I just bought (as in about 3 mins ago) a new laptop - an m2 macbook air.
since we don't have lunch together anymore I've been using my lunch hour on schoolwork.
fixing to also buy a set of the nreal glasses to really get to "spread out" schoolwork at work.
the boss even got me a fancy L-desk for more room (unrelated to the schoolwork/laptop just this nice desk was sitting unused in another office)

I'm excited about getting schoolwork done in the mornings and at lunch - I've been reading textbooks during my hour on the treadmill in the mornings.

still having trouble.
earlier this week I ordered some beam sleep powder that should be arriving... oh nice - tomorrow.
I wanna test it out on a friday and saturday before using it on a work night.
here's hoping it helps.
honestly, I don't even care if it's a placebo if I could regain my superpower.

::: posted by tinafish at 6:41 PM :::

Tuesday, October 04, 2022 :::

my happy place

 I”ve been trying self-guided meditation for a while now and trying to imagine a safe/happy place… it’s always been some kind of lazy creek with a shaded hammock.

it’s occurred to me though… laying here wrapped up in blankets, listening to the bf snoring softly with the fan and air purifier running, this is my happy place.


::: posted by tinafish at 6:54 AM :::

Sunday, October 02, 2022 :::

crippling anxiety

 I dunno wtf is wrong with me anymore... seems I'm always halfway to a panic attack and living like this is terrible

::: posted by tinafish at 4:19 PM :::