I remember one of my teachers in high school used to always say "If you always do what you've always done, you'll always get what you've always gotten." Words of wisdom, ya know?
So what I've gotta stop doing is throwing a fit everytime whoever I happen to be dating has something he's gotta do.
Easier said than done, I'm sure.
So let's face it. I'm spoiled. And I still throw tantrums every time I don't get what I want. And just last night I was talking about how much growing up I've done since I moved here. Makes me wonder who I'm trying to convince... I'm not sure I believe it anymore.
And now I'm back to wanting to go home.
I talked to BoB a couple of weeks ago. I had made him this photo album for him for our five year anniversary, and since I never figured he and I'd break up I'd put a lot of original photos in it. And not just pics of us but pics of our friends and families and such. I had been feeling kinda homesick lately and around his birthday I'd called him to wish him a good year and the likes and he and I started talking... catching up, ya know? After all this time he still knows me really well. So I asked him to ship me that album so I could make copies of some of the photos.
In some manner he took that to mean that I miss him. Now don't get me wrong, it's not that I don't miss him. But David's a whole different person than Bobby. It's just nice to have a history with someone. Like I can tell David about stuff that happened when I was in high school, but BoB was there. And there are certain aspects of BoB that I do miss a lot. He was a huge part of my life for so many years... and it was the years that matter most. I mean, if it wasn't for him, I'd never have played paintball, or installed a stereo... or eaten meat. It's crazy.
And I'm so used to getting what I want right when I want it. He was this big bad guy to the rest of the world but he would've done anything if I asked him to. Except go on vacation with us. I never did manage to get him to go on vacation with us.
David's not like that. He's the same way with me as he is with any of his friends. And that's not a bad thing, it's just not something I'm used to.
I always wanted a boyfriend that would do anything for me, not everything for me. BoB did everything for me, and David would do anything for me.
So now that I've got what I've always wanted.... why am I so dangerously close to throwing another one of my infamous tantrums and sending it all to hell?
::: posted by tinafish at 12:16 AM :::