Wednesday, October 22, 2003 :::

so afraid
 

My mother and I don't really get along - that's no secret. But with my father.. well, he and I have a better relationship. I've spent most of my life... trying to live up to what he expects from me.
A few weeks ago my truck wouldn't start. Now David (and I must admit it's something I do love about him) is useless when it comes to that kind of stuff. He wouldn't know the water pump from the alternator, ya know? So anyway... I pop my hood and poke around for a bit 'cause I was hoping that maybe it was something I could fix myself. I didn't see anything wrong, and like I mentioned David is useless, so I ended up calling my dad. When he got there, he opened up my battery and said it needed water. Now I should have known to check that! I still can't believe I didn't. When David went inside to grab something my dad kinda mentions to me that I should've known.
I felt... so... small. Like I'd totally let him down.
A couple of days ago, whenever I was supposed to tape and float the new ceiling... Well I didn't have time to do it and my sis had said she'd do it for me. But she didn't. Whenever I got home my dad had already started and was kinda peeved 'cause he'd asked me to do it and I didn't. So I asked him if he wanted some help, and he asked me if I knew how. And that kinda stung. Like a slap in the face, ya know?
*sigh*
I'm sure I'm just being over-sensitive... I am a girl, after all. I'm just so afraid that I'm going to feel like I've disappointed both parents. And what kind of daughter does that make me?
::: posted by tinafish at 5:29 PM :::