Saturday, January 31, 2004 :::
my three worst nightmares (literally)
So I'm back home, in the Valley. Our back yard connects to the Junior High's field, so there's a 10 foot fence with barbed wire across the top. There's a big mesquite tree that leans right up agst that fence. I'm dressed like the crow, with my face painted white, wearing all black... even black nails. My hair is down and tangled and wet - dripping with sweat. My ex is standing on the roof... over the garage, also dressed like the crow. He's fighting all these people, dressed as ninjas. There must be btwn 6 and 8 guys he's fighting.
I'm standing on one of the 3 main branches of that mesquite... and I'm fighting 3 ninjas. All 3 ninjas are in the tree with me. 2 are on the same branch as me, up ahead where it forks. There's one behind me. I get kicked in the face, then kicked in the gut, then punched in the face. Each hit sends waves of pain. But none of it matters.
All that matters is that I knock these guys out so I can go help the ex.
I can't hardly see anymore, from the blood and sweat on my face, and it seems that one of my eyes is swollen shut. I see the ninja to the left, in front of me, coming in with a bow to hit me. So I jump.
I land on the branch of the tree that is directly over the barbed wire on the fence. I'm waving my arms around to try and catch my balance, only I know it's too much. So I try to reach down and grab the branch, to steady myself. My hands are bloody; my knuckles are raw. I grab a small branch that has thorns on it, and they cut further into my palms. And then I fall.
Not far, though.
I land directly on the barbed wire. I can feel the metal reaching inside me to tear me apart. Still, nothing matters but helping my ex.
My shirt, wet with blood and sweat, already torn from the fighting... is tearing across the center. I'm still trying to go help BoB so I'm struggling agst the barbs, trying to get free. Only... in my struggle I've managed to open gashes in my abdomen, with blood spilling out making my hands warm and sticky. I notice that my hands were cold. "Cold hands, warm heart."
Kind of an odd thing to say while I'm suspended in the air held up only by barbed wire.
So I'm struggling to get down, with deep gashes in my body. And now another problem. It seems in all my flailing I've gone and gotten the barbed wire entangled in my intestines.
Still, nothing else matters but helping my ex. If I can reach the ground I can grab the knife I carry in my boots and I can cut myself free.
So I reach up and grab my intestines. Slimy and warm, I'm again reminded how cold my hands are.
I pull. I'm pulling my intestines out of my body. And I can feel it.
The pain.
I can smell the blood, the sweat, and the grass.
I can't hardly see anything, and slowly everything is fading away.
The ninjas in the tree are gone. But still the pain. I look over to where my ex is fighting, now near the patio, in front of the banana plants... and the ninjas there are fading away.
He's standing there fighting no one. He looks like he's running through a kata.
The pain is all I can think about. I'm not concerned with helping him anymore. I call to him.
He turns and looks at me... he looks away. Then he keeps fighting.
But there's no one there.
Then everything starts spinning - whirling like some sort of distorted tornado.
I'm left there, suspending in the air, with nothing but my pain.
Until my intestines, that I had previously been so eager to get out of me, begin to unravel under my weight.
I close my eyes and scream.
All I can smell is the blood and all I can feel is the pain.
Worst Nightmare 1st Runner Up:
For this dream you need some background. One of the guys I was engaged to, we'll call him Monkey, used to visit Houston fairly often. We went to high school together, and at some point we modeled together. He's the one who gave me the same engagement ring his father gave his mother. He's in the army... and I haven't really talked to him since David and I started dating.
So about my dream.
I'm in my bedroom here in Lubbock laying in bed. Monkey comes to my window and tells me he's missed me and that he really does want me to keep the ring. Then he asks if I want to go to a rave, that it's in Houston and he knows I have friends there I haven't seen in ages.
I say yes, and get up. I guess I wasn't supposed to leave the house because for some reason I follow him out the window. As soon as we walk around the house to the street, we're in Houston. And 2 of my girlfriends are with us.
Now all 4 of us are walking through some sort of residential neighborhood... but it's kinda in the slum part of town or something. The rave's to be held in an abandoned building somewhere nearby, so we're walking.
There are all sorts of weird dressed characters... and so me and one of my gf's start cracking on them. At some point we're making fun of some really young girl - she's probably in high school or something.
So then we're at the rave. Flashing lights everywhere, lots of things glowing and such. Monkey and I are sitting at a table talking about what's been going on lately, and my two gf's are off dancing. Then this other girl that I went to high school with, this chick who always had a thing for Monkey, comes up and starts mouthing off about how I "stole" him from her. I was like... "um.. no. go dance with him or something."
And so Monkey and Monkey Lover go to dance.
Then this girl I kinda knew when I lived in Houston comes up to me telling me she's gotta go home... that she needs to get to a bus stop and she doesn't want to go alone. So I try to round up the other 2 girls but they don't want to leave, and since I'll be coming back I don't really worry.
Then I see the original crew. When I was growing up there were 5 of us - Monica, Amy, Daniela, Stephanie, and Me. We all start jumping around and screaming and stuff 'cause we're all stoked. So I invite them to come with me so we can catch up w/out having to yell over the music.
So all 6 of us leave and start walking to the bus station. None of us know where it is, so I ask the girl from Houston. She says it's at the corner of some street and 102nd. I look up at the next street sign I see and it says 3rd street.
*sigh*
We're walking along in the middle of the street talking and laughing, catching up and all. Then Monica comes closer to me and whispers, "someone's following us."
I grab her hands and kinda whirl her around still laughing and stuff so I can look behind us without making it too obvious. And there's that one high school chick, trailing a large bald man, and a crowd of other people walking along the sidewalk... ducking in and out of the doorways and shadows.
I just laugh and say, "it'll be ok."
We're coming up to another corner... the sign says 80something. We see more people coming from the street that connects to the one we're on. My friend Amy reaches over and kinda grabs my arm.
Still all I do is say, "it'll be ok."
We're still walking along, no laughing anymore, and we're kinda hunched together in a group.
We're all afraid.
They kinda herd us into the center of the intersection...
And the bald men pulls out a knife.
I stand in front of the rest of the girls... I'm the first one to get hit.
They proceed to beat all of us. The man with the knife comes to me, presses the knife agst my throat. I can feel the blade start to block the pulsing of my carotid artery.
I'm afraid, but still I think "it'll be ok."
He cuts a thin line across my neck, my right cheek... the top part of my chest. Tears are streaming down my face, my heartbeat echos in my head. He brings his face down close to mine... and I can smell the beer on his breath. With each exhale I can feel the heat and see the vapor... I look into his eyes and see my reflection.
He takes the knife and runs it lightly yet roughly up and down my arms.
I close my eyes and think "it'll be ok."
I can feel his hands start to roam... places where I screamed when he touched them.
I can hear the girls, muffled moans and crying.
When he is done with me I lay there in the street... my clothing ripped and scattered about. I'm clutching my side - I think my ribs are broken. It hurts to breath, to swallow... to open my eyes.
I see headlights coming towards me. Help.
"it'll be ok."
My throat is bruised, cut... it hurts to even whisper the words.
The headlights get closer...
"it'll be ok."
They're not slowing down.
"it'll be ok."
It's the bald man.
And I don't know what to say.
Not even a scream as the car hits me.
Worst Nightmare:
Now that it comes down to it I'm not sure I want to put this one out there. It's a bit more... personal.. than these 2. And it's the worst dream I've ever had.
::: posted by tinafish at 4:30 AM :::