Wednesday, February 18, 2004 :::
And I do mean ~wigging~ out.
I've been sitting here crying... and I don't take the test for another 2 hours.
I don't know what's going on.
I'm afraid I'm going to fail. And I know this is just some joke chemistry class... but I really am afraid.
When I lived in Houston I studied for chemistry. I really did. It was all I studied for, really. I was known as the Queen of the All-Nighters. There was a lounge just outside my dorm room where I could usually be found studying.
I studied my little heart out.
...
And I failed.
Which takes me back to high school. My sophomore year I took chem w/ this d00d...
Lemme explain about my high school. I went to a magnet school in the valley, and it was one of the best schools in the area.
And I was taking chem with some d00d who really had a thing agst girls (for some reason he thought girls just could not ~do~ chemistry) and also he disliked the "in" clique. So he pretty much hated me.
Every homework I did he "lost" or something... he kept giving me 0's for them. Hmwrk only counted ~ 10% so it wouldn't fail me, but there went my A, ya know? And then.... he thought I was cheating. For some f-ed up reason he thought I was cheating on all my tests. It got to the point where he'd sit me at a table all by myself, and he provided the pencil and calculator. It was ~so~ fucked up.
So I guess I developed some sort of fear of chemistry.
Funny thing is, my junior year I joined the science team and became captain. But for the life of me I always missed the chem questions.
*sigh*
So I'm really worried about this test.
This is the reason I don't do the whole studying thing. Because if I fail like this, I can always say I didn't study. But if I were to study and still fail...
... then I'm just stupid.
::: posted by tinafish at 11:54 AM :::