Tuesday, March 09, 2004 :::
I guess it was an omen.
*insanely peeved*
I've lost my alarm box, my truck key, my spare tire key, my gas cap key, my house key, david's apt key, and the post office box key.
On my spares I've got an alarm box, a truck key, a spare tire key, a gas cap key, and a key to my mom's house.
These are the keys BoB used to have - apparently at some point he etched BoB into the back of the alarm box.
So since the spares have no key to home or david's apt (and since my sis is out of town for the day and my dad is at his chick's) I find myself at david's... kind of. I am currently sitting in my truck outside his apt. Thanks to the awesome reach of his wireless network I am still able to chat and surf, but sadly there will be no watching SG1 for me.
*sigh*
I talked to BoB while I waited for my father to get to levelland w/ my spares.
I've spent the last few days talking to him a lot... more than I have in the last year.
He says he doesn't want to get in btwn david and I.
I want to say I don't want to get in btwn him and his chick.
I really want to say that... Only it's not true.
I've spent all this time wanting him to get over it... to get over me... to get over us...
I've always thought of him as a sort of security blanket. He'll always love me. I know this, and he knows this. And I will always love him. Like no matter what happens with whoever I'm seeing at the time, BoB is always there in my mind, telling me he loves me.
I want things to work out btwn me and david. With david there will not be a second chance. It's now or never, you know? He doesn't even speak to his ex, much less about her.
Maybe that's got something to do with me? I am ~very~ self-conscous about my appearance and personality. I am afraid I won't measure up to her - to his memory of her.
He says they ended badly. So did BoB and I.
I will make things work. I am learning to not take things so personally. He is a good guy.
A great guy.
::: posted by tinafish at 5:54 PM :::