Sunday, April 18, 2004 :::
On my geocities site I used to have hidden links... links I put there for me.
There were different pages these links took you to... a poem I wrote and various pictures of BoB and me.
I took the links down the night I first kissed David.
I never did delete the pages, though. I'm not sure why.
I just visited one of the pages.
It was... a bit... more... intense than I had expected.
It was filed away... no hint to what it was in the name, among other pages that have nothing to do with him.
The counter was extremely low so I clicked on the file...
The first image was a picture he and I sent out as Valentine's Cards to all our friends... back in 2001. It was our last valentines together.
Then there's a picture of him sitting on my bed in Houston... trying to look all serious.
Next there's a pic of us clowning around... I've got my fingers up his nose and we're laughing.
The last one is a pic of him sitting on my bed in Houston laughing. I don't remember what he was laughing at... but it sure is nice to see him smiling like that.
These pictures have reminded me that not all the time we spent together was as bad as I sometimes remember it.
They reminded me of that for a long time... too long, really. I got hooked on thinking that all the time we spent together was like that.
Like it says on the page, "These are the chains that keep me living in the past."
I did that for a long time.
Now I have David. He's a good guy... just he's really working hard at school right now.
It makes me feel like I'm not most important to him. And that's small of me. What he needs right now is for me to be supportive, not selfish.
We've sure got our differences, but nothing too bad. I've brought a lot of baggage to the rltnship, and he's been really understanding about it. I try to be understanding too... I try not to take things so personally. He spent a long time being single, and I need to remember that.
He kissed me today. It was wonderful.
Not that he doesn't kiss me everyday... just today... it made the whole world melt away.
Just me, him, and us.
::: posted by tinafish at 12:30 AM :::