Tuesday, October 19, 2004 :::
... become something strange and beautiful...
Couldn't do it w/out Doke.
I'm still sick.
I've got an a&p test today that I'm grossly unprepared for.
I can't control my coughing.
It hurts.
David finally responded to my email.
Such a minimalistic response it had me in tears.
He really is better off without me.
...
I feel like I'm now finally able to step back and say that we weren't getting along very well there towards the end.
I still miss him, though.
Some things won't change anytime soon... I'm still the fool making excuses for him.
And he's still out living his life.
When will it be my turn?
Maybe it already is?
But I can grow
In spite of all you know
You might not recognize me tomorrow
Yes I can change
In spite of all they say
Become something strange and beautiful
Like joy, like joy
gotta love liz phair.
and what about how I feel?
ya'll remember this?
today would be a fine day to go
but for the tangled web we weave
or something
as I sat on the kitchen floor
staring at the reflection in the oven's glass
the world tinted black
seemingly just for me
like the first glimpse at the true world I have been living in...
and one more thing... to remind myself how unhappy I had been...
June 30, 2004
now maybe I can stop sulking and concentrate on studying.
And there's a great guy in my corner.
For the first time in my life I feel like I have not been wrong about the way I've always thought I should be treated.
Or maybe it's like that book says... Maybe every other guy was just Not That Into Me.
::: posted by tinafish at 4:36 AM :::