Monday, December 20, 2004 :::
honestly, I'd rather spend the day alone.
I was thinking about how drastic my life has changed since last christmas...
and not just things btwn david and me....
changes to the core of me... like my faith, my outlook on life, and most drastically the things I consider right and wrong.
I was looking at pictures... and old video... the mpegs from last christmas...
I was thinking about david's mom... and how much I miss her. she was really starting to be the awesome, loving, supportive mother figure I never had. and his stepfather, too. they were both always so nice to me... and it made me distrust them... took another 6 months before I realized that they were being sincere.
I made him a coffee table for christmas last year... and they were proud of me. no matter that I didn't finish it completely - that the stain was still sticky since I didn't start making it 'till a few days before christmas... they were proud that I'd taken the time to make him something... ya know?
I miss how his whole family was so accepting of me...
and they thought I was good for him.
heh.
I sure proved them wrong on that one.
I was thinking about this one conv I had with his mom... how she tried to give me some insight about him and his habits.
I dunno.
this christmas just feels so much different than last year's.
*sigh*
and I'd really just rather spend the day alone.
::: posted by tinafish at 8:51 PM :::