Wednesday, February 09, 2005 :::

there are no car chases in books, eh?
 

Nemesis is on.
Shinzon...
/drool
and I watched a bit of matrix revolutions.
Seraph...
/licking lips
have you heard that song? by liz phair... that one line says something like, "licking my lips, need a primitive fix..." and some other stuff.

It's been an... interesting last few days.
Lus and I... well... we shouldn't get drunk together. We have the... most cynical conversations.
Saturday night, after his gig, we came back here. He drank half a bottle of special reserve all on his own. I drank a lot that night too - 10 shots at bleachers... but I didn't drink when I got home 'cause my throat was so damn sore.
He was more than a bit drunk... and with this being February I'm not in too great a shape either...
we had a long talk about... assorted things... talked about how awful a world this is... how we all have to focus on the few rays of sun in the bleakness.
and we talked about our faith. or lack of, really.

And I kinda picked a fight w/ doke tonight.
tomorrow's ash wednesday. big catholic day.
neither one of us (doke nor I... actually lus too) are big on being catholic right now.
I forget what term lus used, but doke called himself a "non-practicing catholic," like it's a hobby or something, and not a way of life. After we talked a bit it seems he's agnostic.
I think it's odd he should still refer to himself as catholic.
*shrug*
It's not my place to judge his beliefs. Especially since right now I'm close to having none.
I've taken to just saying I was raised catholic.

I keep trying to resolve this. I keep trying to find my faith, or that happy medium I spoke of just last year.
*sigh*
I still want to get a theology degree. That's been my goal for a while. The whole nursing thing was just gonna pay for school, ya know? I still wanna go back to St. Thomas... but I'm starting to think it will never happen.
At this point I just wanna get some bullshit degree and join the peace corps.
I'm tired of just wasting away.

Speaking of wasting away..
I've been working on an image for my main page. I've got to get that pic of david kissing me off there.
It breaks my heart just to look at it.
Anyway. I'm not sure what I'm gonna do with it. I've got most of it figured out, just working on the details now.
I wish I had a digital camera. Instead of googling for images I could just snap my own shots. That'd be awesome.

Well I'm gonna take some more cough medicine and then go back to drooling over shinzon.

::: posted by tinafish at 5:51 AM :::