Tuesday, October 04, 2005 :::

the art of war
 

oh it's true - I didn't want anyone specific.
I was more than happy to just date occasionally and spend the rest of my time by myself or with friends.
and no, adrian didn't trick me into dating him; he's a great guy and I like him loads.

but I do still have my bad days...
and sometimes I still want to strike out at him.

I'm not saying this is the best choice I could've made, but I'm also not saying I'd make a different choice if I could repeat it.
he and I still have a very volatile rltnship, but we always have.
but he does stand by me, and he allows me to lean on him when I need it.

the most difficult part for me is deciding when to believe him.
like... this fella I chat with mostly every day... I hadn't seen him all weekend... when he messaged me yesterday he said he missed me.
and I rolled my eyes.
I didn't see adrian saturday... on sunday when I saw him he said he missed me...
and I rolled my eyes then too.

honestly I'm not even sure where I'm going with this.

::: posted by tinafish at 12:41 PM :::