Saturday, April 29, 2006 :::
lus & I lounged about a bit, then went out to this small town around here called acuff - the banana pudding alone was worth the trip - mmmmmmm...
when we got back into town we stopped by hastings; I'd been wanting to try ffx since I finally finished ff7.
I saw my david there.
he had his back to me, but I knew that stand, ya know? the amt his feet were apart, the way most weight was on his left leg, how he was kinda leaning toward the right. I got all warm inside, and then I noticed that damned guiness cap.
but it was him, and I'd been dreading this moment since we broke up.
I totally got all emotional... started to feel like I was gonna vomit, yet I wanted to run over and hug/kiss him... kinda wanted to pass out, and totally wanted to run away...
but it was time, ya know? to face him. to face that part of me.
so instead of doing any of those things, I stepped back, inside myself...
and I'm glad I did, 'cause not 5 secs later some chick joins him...
and I didn't look away. I couldn't. this is now.
she slips her arms around him like I used to...
and instantly I hoped I was wrong - that it wasn't him...
but then he turned to face her, and it was that same wonderful, beautiful face I used to bask in... the same face I'll never see again.
and it was like part of me was being torn to bits... but not the part I was living in?
the part of me that I had stepped away from was throwing herself on the ground, curled up and crying...
all I did was kinda tear up and go back to looking at games.
he looks happier now, and really I am too.
::: posted by tinafish at 12:12 AM :::