Monday, March 07, 2011 :::
I feel pretty bad about what's going on btwn me & budd, but I mean... he did have an entire year to go meet my mom... and he didn't.
all my friends and even my family are being super supportive, and I can't tell you how much I appreciate it.
I like to think that I'd have left no matter what, since us staying together last year was contingent upon his going to the valley to meet the rest of my family... but I dunno.
budd is a great guy. seriously. I know I bitch about him a lot, but he really is.
but the meeting-my-folks thing is where I decided to take a stand, and he didn't care.
/sigh
I dunno what I did (or didn't do) for it to come down to this. but here we are.
so I've decided to be done with feeling sorry for myself. trying to put the whole "his loss anyway" mindset on.
I just got back from spending the day at the apt.. budd & I went by home depot to get a shower head for him, and then to walmart for me since I'm looking for a space heater (still looking - they didn't have it out).
and I packed up a few more of my things from "home."
when I was leaving I told him I'd be by next week, once I've purchased a fridge and built a counter, to pick up my kitchen things.
that's really all I've got left over there.
as I was closing the door behind me... I dunno... I just felt really sad.
I guess that's what this whole post is about.
I'm sad that he's just letting me walk out of his life. like I tricked him into letting us stay together last year. like he's been waiting for me to leave for the last 5 years.
I'm not so bad, right?
::: posted by tinafish at 9:25 PM :::