Saturday, March 05, 2011 :::

well I want to wrap it up and swim in it until I drown
 

I'm aiming to be completely moved out by monday, but I didn't move a damn thing yesterday and today has been equally unproductive.
I'm really wanting to go take a nap, but I know I should be gathering my things.
so instead of doing either, I'm blogging.
go me!
I will, no matter what, be sleeping over there starting tonight.

I've had a very social week.
monday I moved a few things.
tuesday I hung out with lus in the morning, and then I hung out with kotton and watched some anime that afternoon.
wednesday I hung out with peaches and arranged action figures.
thursday I hung out with javi-er and had some tacos.
friday I hung out with lus and had a concrete (yum!).
so today, I really should work on moving stuff. I keep rationalizing it by reminding myself exactly how much stuff I don't have over here. and really, I could probably pack up all my shit in a couple of hours.
also, I finally ordered a router and it won't be here until monday, so I'll hafta spend all day monday over here anyway.

we've agreed on the not-continuing-to-date-once-I-move-out thing, but it's much more mutual than anything (I'm taking this round much better than last year).
budd says he's gonna take some time off to get back to himself, and I'm not sure what I'm gonna do.
there's a very good chance I'll just start dating again, but I dunno if that's really what I should do. it's supposed to be a month off for every year spent together... so 5 months... but I've seriously never really been single that long.
I'm a lot older now, though. and I imagine finding someone new to go out with would be a bit harder seeing as how I'm rocking a ton more weight than usual. but I have an awesome personality, I promise!
maybe it'll hit me in a day or two, once I've moved out, but right now I'm pretty frustrated at his indifference and I think if I did just start dating randomly it wouldn't necessarily be because I want to, but because I suck at coping with things.
I guess we'll see.
at the very least I won't have a proper internet connection for a while, so I can spend some time with myself reading and maybe taking up knitting again.
or maybe I'll run away to dallas or the valley for a while, and just lounge about with friends and/or family.

speaking of family, my dad & my sister have been especially gracious in their time spent with me (and our meals).
I think they're worried I'm gonna take this breakup like I took the one with my david, but lol since they don't really know what happened back then.
I think I'll be fine. if we'd split up last year it would have been much harder for me, but things have certainly continued to fizzle over the last year... so I'm sure I'll be ok.
not that I don't wanna drown myself in a bottle, but it's not entirely because of budd.

and now I'm off to pack my toiletries and move my clothes. since, you know, I'll be sleeping over there from now on.

::: posted by tinafish at 12:42 PM :::