Saturday, May 31, 2003 :::


well U always have me on yahoo....HELLO.....who's david? I'm jealous.

::: posted by Anonymous at 5:08 AM :::


today wasn't so bad, up until I got to work.

I hate my life.

::: posted by tinafish at 12:02 AM :::

Sunday, May 25, 2003 :::


Well I met loads of David's friends today. I'm back to envying him. I remember when I used to have friends that would stop by for no reason. Damned inconvenient, it was. God how I miss it.

Well I fixed my little ICQ flower. You can page me from it now. *nodding* Don't seem to know anyone on icq anymore. For some reason my contact list isn't displayed. Guess it must be some sort of conspiracy to make me feel even more alone.

David's a keeper. *grinning*

::: posted by tinafish at 1:13 AM :::

Wednesday, May 21, 2003 :::


Oh I am sooo bored out of my mind...

David and I watched Nemesis earlier. He fell asleep.

::: posted by tinafish at 4:48 AM :::

Monday, May 19, 2003 :::


And on top of that Chris forgot to bring me a rice krispy treat!!!!!!!!!

::: posted by tinafish at 4:44 AM :::


Oh I'm devastated!
I was gonna switch plans and order a phone online tonight, but Sprint doesn't ship to PO Boxes, and the shipping address has to match to mailing address of your monthly statement and whatever credit card you use to pay for the stuff.
Guess I'll be stopping by the sprint store or something. I hate going there.

::: posted by tinafish at 4:40 AM :::


Well it's being said that no one expected me to be making entries like I did those last couple of times. Different people have told me that I'm just not the type of person to put myself out there. Honestly I'm surprised that so many people have even been reading my blog lately. I've felt, more often than not, that I'm blogging into a void. So there are people out there who read this.
Of course there are the people that I know... And apparently there are a couple of people that I don't really know who have just sort of taken to reading it. How odd. I do it to other people - read their blogs. I just never thought that anyone did it to me. I'm not sure how I feel about it.
I find it interesting... the responses I've gotten.
Do you trust anyone? I don't. I mean...... I trust everyone, but only to a certain extent. I trust that the other drivers on the road aren't going to plow into me at every turn. And I trust that I'm not going to be murdered when I stop for gas. We all trust everyone to certain extents. I don't trust anyone with all of me. I don't believe there's a person alive that I've ever trusted with all of me. Friends, family... no matter. I've never completely trusted anyone. And to completely trust someone you must be completely honest.
So in that case, I've never been honest with anyone. I wouldn't call myself a compulsive liar, but I'm a liar. Honesty is a very big deal to me, and the more I think about it the more I see myself as a hypocrit.

::: posted by tinafish at 1:57 AM :::


Played Mortal Kombat some more today.
Took pictures of my room for David.
That's pretty much all I did.
I need a new hobby.

::: posted by tinafish at 12:19 AM :::

Sunday, May 18, 2003 :::


Well I was at David's this afternoon. He had a barbeque in honor of finally passing physics. I'm proud of him; it had been his unicorn all this semester. Everyone there played Mortal Kombat: Deadly Alliance. Had loads of fun. Finally got to use my blue ketchup. Or is it catsup?
I'm trying to update my site. I've been asking for ideas...
Someone said I should add more pictures. *nodding* I add pictures whenever I can. Wish my life wasn't so boring. David's been wanting to see what my bedroom looks like, so he may be lending me his camera to take pictures. Thing is I don't want him to know how much of a dork I am. 'Cause I like to think I'm fairly normal, but I do worry about myself. Just looking around my bedroom you'd think I was this psycho-trekkie that dresses up and knows what happened in each episode and the number of it and such. I'm not that bad. Yet.
Someone else said that I should talk more about my past. I dunno about that... I mean, yeah... I've done some things. Nothing really worth mentioning, though. Guess it just depends on the person. Maybe I'll add a resume. *thinking* Maybe not. I'm open to a Q&A as a sort of template, if anyone's got one.

::: posted by tinafish at 2:09 AM :::

Saturday, May 17, 2003 :::


man tina U have way too much time on UR hands......OH BTW the corpus show on friday was moved to a place called the cantina.
hey i got UR page and called U back. call me NEtime during the week before 4pm. The # i called U from.

::: posted by Anonymous at 8:21 PM :::


Well here I am again tonight. I've seen The Matrix twice, and I think I'm having control issues. Fitting, don't you think?
David... I wouldn't call him my "new" boyfriend, seeing as how I've had him a while... and I don't want to call him my "old" boyfriend, 'cause that implies that he's no longer with me. *shrug*
David, my boyfriend... he's not given me any rules.
In the past I do tend to be somewhat overbearing... As AJ so tactfully put it, I'm a control-freak. I don't mean any offense to AJ, but I care about David just a little bit more. When AJ and I split up it did have a lot to do with me wanting to control his life. I don't wanna mess things up with David over something so trivial, so I've been trying to keep my distance and not make any demands.
In truth I'm all about rules. There are rules that I have when it comes to the guys I date. They have to be taller than me. Have to have a job. Have to have a car. Must be older than me. No drinking, smoking, or any use of illegal contraband. And someone who goes to church. Oh and how the list went on...
Over the course of the year I've spent just dating around, I've come to realise that not too much of that stuff really matters. I've gotten rid of the whole car thing, 'cause I do like to drive. And the whole church thing I found out was overrated. Now I look for someone with strong religous views. And of course the whole drug thing is way important.
But David drinks. Socially, he says. It eats away at me... because it matters to me. I'm still not sure why. Maybe because of the big fight... or the way that intoxicated guys with girlfriends have treated me... *shaking head* Now that I think about it I really have no idea why this matters so much to me.
David's given me no rules. And the only rule I gave him is that he not lie to me. And that's pretty much all I really do require. There's not too much I won't take in stride. If you'd rather be out whoring around, then whore around with my blessings, ya know? Just let me know that you don't wanna be in a committed relationship. I won't even hold it against you. More power to you for at least knowing what you're after.
But back to the whole drinking thing. I don't agree with it. And I'm gonna say that it's just a sum of a my experiences with intoxicated people that does it.
Now I can't just go up and ask him to stop. I don't even have a good reason. And it's most certainly not my place. He's lived the last 26 years just fine without me... the last thing I need to do is give him a reason to go back to that. Thing is... it's gonna keep eating me up. And I can't "tactfully" bring it up 'cause as soon as I do.... *shaking head* If I tell him what I think... what I want... and he doesn't do it... I'll be more than inclined to get rid of him. And if he does what I want... for the sole reason of doing what I want... *shaking head* I'll be inclined to get rid of him. Damned if I do and damned if I don't.
So why not just bite my tongue and move past it?
I really don't know why this means so much to me.
Oh and get this. I did something today that I didn't think I'd ever do. Suffice it to say my actions led to me having "the munchies." *sigh* And I think I may have done it all to spite him.
*shaking head*
Some sort of desperate attempt to get him to lay down some rules for me... and in turn, I get to give him rules too. *nodding* Now that I've stepped back and evaluated my actions of the day, I'm fairly certain that I did it all to kinda bring this whole thing up.
So what does that make me? Incredibly hypocritical, for one thing. *sigh* I'm just so used to having rules. Makes things so much easier, don't you think? Thing is... I'm not sure if I can deal with all this.... *shaking head*
This could be a fatal flaw... on either end. Scares the hell outta me, frankly. I'm dangerously close to losing someone that I've openly admitted to caring about, which is kind of a big deal for me.
He said he didn't know that most of the guys I chill with now were at one time my "boyfriend."
I don't think he understands, though. They weren't boyfriends. None of them were. Just random guys that I happened to be dating. Don't get me wrong... they're all dear to me now, in their respective ways. Friends. In so many ways they mean more to me now than they did then. Guess that's why it's taken me so long to realise I've had such issues. I've gotten rid of guys for less than this.
And to think... the only reason I responded to that email was 'cause of the smileys. *shaking head*

::: posted by tinafish at 1:27 AM :::


Thanks Vee. I'm flattered.

::: posted by tinafish at 12:15 AM :::

Friday, May 16, 2003 :::


i'd still sleep with U.

::: posted by Anonymous at 9:42 PM :::

Monday, May 12, 2003 :::


Well I went to mass this morning. And I feel awful about what happened there.
When I was younger I used to be in shape. I was never thin... solid was more like it. I always was very active physically, and since I had a "nice" body, I did tend to wear form fitting clothing.
There was this girl who sat in front of my sister and I. She was just a kid... probably still in high school... She was wearing this little shirt and skirt outfit. Kinda out there, but still cute enough. And it was fitted.
The way some of the women in the congregation were looking at her, though. Women used to look at me like that. And it struck home right then. What I've let myself become.
I'm not thin. I never was. And I don't want to be. But I realised this morning that I'm disgusted with myself - with my body. I'm not happy with myself physically.
I can not remember the last time I put on a swimsuit. Now that I think about it, it's been aaaaages since I've even put on a pair of shorts. And I lie to myself about why I don't. I say it's 'cause my legs are too white. That's not the truth, though. I even say that it's because none of my old clothes still fits. That's closer to the truth, but still not there. If that was the only reason, I'd have gone out and bought new shorts by now. The real reason is that I'm not happy with the way I look in shorts. My legs are fat. I don't mean that they're incredibly large; they're not that big. Just that my legs used to be muscle. The muscle would move as one when I walked. Now... well, suffice it to say that's not what's going on.
I need to start working out. So I thought I'd join a gym. But I used to make fun of people like me.
I don't know why this matters so much. I don't think I'm exceptionally shallow, just that this means a lot to me. Which brings about a bigger question. Why am I so unhappy with myself?
Is this some sort of projection of today's society that I'm having? Thin is Beautiful. Fat is not. But I'm not fat. I am fatter than I've ever been in my life, but I am not fat. So then what's going on? Why does this bother me so much?
I've not been home in over a year. I say it's because there's just too much drama going on down there. Is that the real reason? Or am I afraid of what my old "friends" will say?
I've never been too concerned with what other people think of me. I've learned that you can never please everyone. So why all this commotion over being a couple of sizes larger than I used to be?
It's not like my eating habits have changed. I've always had a... good appetite. Ok. So I eat a lot. It never mattered before. Almost every day in high school I stopped at McDonald's on my way to school for breakfast. 2 Apple Pies and an Oreo McFlurry. Everyday. And that was only breakfast. For lunch I had whatever the cafeteria was serving (twice) plus a few candybars, a soda, and a bag of chips. Some of the girls at school would ask what my diet was like. Imagine their surprise when I told them what I had for breakfast every morning. *sigh*
So then I would preach. "It's not how much you eat," I would say. "Just keep your calorie intake lower or equal to your energy output." Words of wisdom. And I lived by them too. I worked out, on average, 2 hours a day. Every day. Sometimes more. Rarely less.
So maybe I'll join a gym. I need to do something. I've gotten really bad about this. I've gotten to the point where I hate mirrors. I don't even look in the mirror while I'm doing my hair or make-up. I take a quick peek when I'm all through, just to make sure I'm presentable. And even then it kills me. My complexion. My eyebrows. The fullness of my face. I'm more curvy now than I used to be. Some people like that. David doesn't seem to mind. *shaking head* I do.
So what's the point of me spilling all this out here. *shrug* A friend of mine told me that I should write my goals down. So here I go. By the fall semester, I'd like to fit into my old clothes. I'm not aiming for the stuff that I wore when I was in high school. I'm talking about the stuff I was wearing when I lived in Houston. By the fall semester. I'm not sure how I'm gonna do it, but I know how I'm gonna start.
I'm gonna buy a tape measure. And I may strip down to my unmentionables and take a picture of myself and tape it up in my bedroom. If I can bring myself to do that. But I am buying the tape measure. And working out was a huge part of my life before... I'm sure I can manage.
And if anyone in the Lubbock area wants a work-out-buddy, let me know.

::: posted by tinafish at 1:18 AM :::

Sunday, May 11, 2003 :::


Ouch. I just took this survey that said it would guess my gender. It was wrong. And this is what it told me.

You know, for every question, we track very carefully what each gender answers. This allows us to guess with the utmost accuracy what you are. And in the rare case where we guess incorrectly (like now), we have the opportunity to learn from nature's mistake. You.
People like you, who walk the scary line between man and woman, are *very* helpful in understanding exactly what it means to be human. Thanks, and good luck.

Here are some random stats from that site.
-- So Far, The Gender Test Has Learned --

Men prefer falling over drowning to death.

Women really hate the word "moist".

Women are more likely to realize that clams
are alive (89%) than men (only 86%).

Did you know that men are more likely to call this test retarded than women?

Women are more likely to choose being lonely (over bleeding to death) than men.

Men prefer white bedrooms. Women prefer blue bedrooms.

::: posted by tinafish at 2:52 AM :::


I've just been informed that I listen to Korn. I had no idea.

::: posted by tinafish at 12:31 AM :::

Saturday, May 10, 2003 :::


Well I hadn't had anything to post until now. Look what sam sent me. *sigh*

::: posted by tinafish at 11:45 PM :::


Lord I've worked here for sooo long. One of the girls who had not been pregnant when I started working here just got back from maternity leave.
I need a calling. Maybe I should have a child?
I should get a pet.
I should steal Lucky.

::: posted by tinafish at 6:51 AM :::


Wow.... Look at what Ford's got in store for 2005.

Can't decide if I like it or not...

::: posted by tinafish at 5:31 AM :::


I'm really excited about reading again. I'd been kind of unable to concentrate on too much... aside from the star trek novels I've not been reading much of anything. Anyhow..... dunno if I told ya'll but I ordered Relativity when I got Wicked Prayer and that Tekken guide. As of yet I've been unable to read it (Relativity. I devoured the other 2 the day the shipment arrived). I'm not sure why... Like I mentioned last week I've not meditated in aaages. *shaking head* I'm not saying that I need to find my center to read something by Einstein... just that I've not really been able to concentrate in a while. Anyhow. I bought Ideas and Opinions, by Mr. Einstein... and as of yet I've only read the first 5 pages, but I do like it. I'm able to envision what he's talking about, which is always a good thing in books with no pictures. I imagine I'll be reading more of it tonight, seeing as how it's only 0300 and I've already stuffed charts. I do need to remember to pace myself.
I was random blog reading earlier... again, I know. Anyhow... thought this was interesting.
Oi! Just got called an admit.

::: posted by tinafish at 3:08 AM :::


Well I ordered some stuff off amazon. I sent Share the Love discounts to some friends I thought would enjoy the stuff I bought. I ordered The Once and Future King, by T. H. White; SuperCoolNothing, by 16Volt; and Physical Principles of the Quantum Theory, by Werner Heisenberg. I almost ordered Nemesis, but I think I'll just get that at Hastings when it goes on sale.
I had a really bad day a couple of days ago. Had a flat tire... and it was all downhill from there. It was one of those go back to bed days. Can't say it ended horribly, though...
David got Lucky back. I took him for a ride earlier this evening. Lucky, not David. And I got Chucky wedged up in a corner in David's living room... Don't ask. *sigh*
I finished Primal. Sucky ending. Was trying to return it when the whole flat tire kinda detoured my day. *sigh*
Can't think of anything else to say. I'd had this long list of things I wanted to talk about... things I wanted to post on here.... *shaking head* Can't remember.
I imagine I'll be back.

::: posted by tinafish at 12:27 AM :::


Well My David and I went and saw Xmen. *sigh* I can honestly say the highlight of the movie was seeing my favorite book, The Once and Future King, get some screentime. I'm not saying it was bad per se.... just... *shrug* I dunno.

::: posted by tinafish at 12:08 AM :::

Tuesday, May 06, 2003 :::


Goodness I'm sleepy. *yawn* I'm not sure what I'll be doing today. My sister wants to go watch xmen, but she had wanted to do that yesterday too. She ended up falling asleep while I went out for brkfst. Brkfst was nice - talked about my views on life, religion, and love. Then I played Primal 'till I fell asleep. It's been fun. Sorry to say that the only reason I'm still playing is so that I'll know how the story ends. It's more like an interactive story than a game, really. I'm also glad I rented it instead of buying it (even though by the time I return David Fraga'll have a whopper of a late fee), because I'm not getting any real urge to play it again. I would like the soundtrack. I've added 16volt's album to my wishlist on amazon.
I'm in the mood for some yoga this morning. Nothing like a mountain pose to center myself. I've not meditated in ages. Maybe that's why I'm having such a hard time sleeping?

::: posted by tinafish at 5:36 AM :::


Star Trek: Nemesis
Shinzon - We know Picard. We like Picard. You're
no Picard.

What Star Trek Movie Villain Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla


Star Trek: First Contact
The Borg Queen - Just couldn't resist, could you?

What Star Trek Movie Villain Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

::: posted by tinafish at 3:20 AM :::


The Klingons
You would be one of the proud, the many, the
Klingons. Full of honor and loyalty and almost
as ugly as the Nausicaans.

What Star Trek Race Are You
brought to you by Quizilla

::: posted by tinafish at 2:58 AM :::



Which Host of Dax are you? (from Star Trek Deep Space Nine)
brought to you by Quizilla

::: posted by tinafish at 2:56 AM :::


You are a normal Trekkie. You don't exactly hide
that you are a trekkie, but you don't go as far
as dressing up. It doesn't seem to affect your
reputation, either.

What kind of trekkie are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

::: posted by tinafish at 2:50 AM :::


In your past life, you were an Artisan
Your creativty and craftsmenship doesn't come from
nowhere. You used to be an artisan in your past
life, painting murals, sculpting statues, and
crafting wood for more noble people.

Who were you in your past life?
brought to you by Quizilla

::: posted by tinafish at 2:43 AM :::


YOu see the world in Neutral
Harmony and balance is key. You don't look at the
world in a negative or positive way and you'll
never judge or assume a situation- you just
look at the facts. People like you are peaceful
and accepting.

What color do you see the world in?
brought to you by Quizilla

::: posted by tinafish at 2:41 AM :::


Green Goddess
Goddess of green. You probably prefer to be outside
where you can get some fresh air!

What element would you rein over? (For Girls)
brought to you by Quizilla

::: posted by tinafish at 2:39 AM :::


I am not a type of music
You're nothing, really. But you're nice.

What type of music are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

::: posted by tinafish at 2:36 AM :::


beatin old women for pills

what's YOUR deepest secret?
brought to you by Quizilla

::: posted by tinafish at 2:33 AM :::


Your Heart is Red

What Color is Your Heart?
brought to you by Quizilla

::: posted by tinafish at 2:30 AM :::


You like to talk,
you like to run,
but most of all you like to have fun.

Which drug should you be hooked on? [now with pictures]
brought to you by Quizilla

::: posted by tinafish at 2:28 AM :::


Sorrowdweller. You are not overcome by anger nor
happiness. Your emotions are pretty well
balanced, but you do tend to get somewhat
emotional at times leaning towards depression
and saddness. You have your own views of the
world and while you do not see the beauty of
life, you are not completely overwhelmed by
darkness. Live and let live just because.

How Emotional Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

::: posted by tinafish at 2:23 AM :::


Normal รด.o
You're normal. Normal?! NORMAL?! Oh SCREW YOU!You
KNEW you were normal when you came here, you
FREAK. GET OUT! GET OUT! *throws you at a bus*

How Depressed are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

::: posted by tinafish at 2:22 AM :::


You're the smirk,a frown-smile hybrid that's a
little bit cocky and usually associated with
evil or arrogant,but attractive people.You
probably just don't give a damn,but it's
everyone else's fault if you don't because
you're too awesome to have any real faults.

What Kind of Smile are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

::: posted by tinafish at 2:18 AM :::


50% seme
50% Seme

How seme are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

::: posted by tinafish at 2:15 AM :::


Uke Rip-off Vampire
Annoying Uke Rip-off

What type of vampire are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

::: posted by tinafish at 2:13 AM :::



What's your sexual appeal?
brought to you by Quizilla

::: posted by tinafish at 2:10 AM :::


You are Psychic!

What's Your Magic Power?
brought to you by Quizilla

::: posted by tinafish at 2:08 AM :::


Bondage movie! You're into BSDM (Bondage &
Discipline, Dominance & Submission) and chances
are, you're fond of whips, chains, harnesses,
and tight leather outfits. You like to mix a
little pain with a LOT of pleasure, baby!

What kind of porno would you star in?
brought to you by Quizilla

::: posted by tinafish at 2:05 AM :::



What's YOUR sexual fetish?
brought to you by Quizilla

::: posted by tinafish at 2:01 AM :::


Well...... This score was dramatically higher than my others... 158. So according to this test... I'm a "genius." That makes me feel a little better... except my friend scored about 50 points higher than I did.

Average: 85 - 115
Above average: 116 - 125
Gifted Borderline Genius: 126 - 135
Highly gifted and appearing to be a Genius to most others: 136 - 145
Genius: 146 - 165
High Genius: 166 - 180
Highest Genius: 181 - 200
Beyond being measurable Genius: Over 200

If you wanna find out how you measure up... check it out

::: posted by tinafish at 12:30 AM :::


Well... I feel like an idiot. A friend of mine just took an IQ test and scored 202. If that's any indication then apparently I do have the IQ of a carrot.
I'm off to take that test now too.

::: posted by tinafish at 12:26 AM :::

Monday, May 05, 2003 :::


those quizes are fun.......not very verbose am i?

::: posted by Cliff at 6:08 AM :::


Well since I was taking quizzes most of the night I decided to bite the bullet and take an IQ test. What I've come to realize is that I've no faith in online IQ tests. I took 3 different IQ tests... and my lowest score was 122. My highpoint was 128, so I guess I averaged about 125. I'm not real sure what the whole number deal means... I know that 80 is bad, though... and I'm not too sure about the whole 130. *sigh*
So like I said... apparently IQ means nothing.

::: posted by tinafish at 5:46 AM :::


Kurt Cobain
Kurt Cobain - free willed, pain free...too bad you're
dead inside. To the world you're awesome; everyone
wishes they were you, too bad you dont like your life
as much as others do.

What punk rock idol are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

::: posted by tinafish at 1:25 AM :::


Weed Brownie
You are a weed brownie. A rare delicacy, you have
the potential to make people go curraaazzy.
You are always enjoyed. You are tasty AND

What kind of weed paraphernalia are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

::: posted by tinafish at 1:17 AM :::


Fixedsys - You are the person people go to when
they are having trouble with their computer.
Geeky but reliable.

What Font Are You? (Standard Fonts)
brought to you by Quizilla

::: posted by tinafish at 1:15 AM :::


You are Jack the Ripper. Yours were some of the
most brutal murders recorded in history--yet
your case is still to this day unsolved. You
came from out of the fog, killed violently and
quickly, then disappeared without a trace.
For no apparent reason, you satisfy your blood
lust with ever-increasing ferocity, culminating
in the near destruction of your final victim,
and then you vanish from the scene forever. The
perfect ingredients for the perennial thriller.
You are quite the mysteriously demented.

Which Imfamous criminal are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

::: posted by tinafish at 1:11 AM :::


You are Jubilee!

Though you may be young and inexperienced, you have
great potential and will someday become an
admirable figure. For that to happen, though,
you must overcome your juvenile belief system
and adopt a more mature view on life.

Which X-Men character are you most like?
brought to you by Quizilla

::: posted by tinafish at 1:07 AM :::


What Is Your Animal Personality?

brought to you by Quizilla

::: posted by tinafish at 1:01 AM :::


You're Perfect ^^
-Perfect- You're the perfect girlfriend. Which
means either you're rare or you cheated :P You're
the kind of chick that can hang out with your
boyfriend's friends and be silly. You don't
care about presents or about going to fancy
places. Hell, just hang out. You're just happy
being around your boyfriend.

What Kind of Girlfriend Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

::: posted by tinafish at 12:54 AM :::


You have a dominant kiss- you take
charge and make sure your partner
can feel it! Done artfully, it can be
very satisfactory if he/she is into
you playing the dominant role MEORW!

What kind of kiss are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

::: posted by tinafish at 12:53 AM :::


holding hands
hand holding - you like to be in constant physical
contact with your special someone but you don't
want to take things too quickly.

What Sign of Affection Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

::: posted by tinafish at 12:50 AM :::


Brown Eyes

What Color Eyes Should You Have?
brought to you by Quizilla

::: posted by tinafish at 12:48 AM :::


Funny Asian Man

What's Your Personality Type?
brought to you by Quizilla

::: posted by tinafish at 12:46 AM :::



-- Personality Disorder Test - Take It! --

About my "high" score:
Narcissistic personality disorder is characterized by self-centeredness. Like histrionic disorder, people with this disorder seek attention and praise. They exaggerate their achievements, expecting others to recongize them as being superior. They tend to be choosy about picking friends, since they believe that not just anyone is worthy of being their friend. They tend to make good first impressions, yet have difficulty maintaining long-lasting relationships. They are generally uninterested in the feelings of others and may take advantage of them.

::: posted by tinafish at 12:35 AM :::

Sunday, May 04, 2003 :::


its become apparent

in my head the little machine

in the light i'm quite transparent

in the dark, i'm such a dream

there are two sides to me

sometimes i set the evil one free

cause i'm in love with the devil

and she's in love with me

and i go, and i go away

sometimes i lose myself

sometimes in a bad way

it's never ending im going to hell

as long as you go with me

when your down you'll only want it more

isn't it nature to break somebody's heart

i wont treat you wrong

and i wont treat you bad

and in my eyes tonight

and if your all alone

i will be your only

::: posted by tinafish at 5:28 AM :::


Well, Tina's been on me, to tell everyone. Yes, the roof of our barn was torn off by a tornado, Tuesday night. I know, I took my time, telling everyone, but while I know, Tina gets a real kick out of it. I didn't think it was a good thing, at all. Its making life a lot harder, around here, but yea....Now, I've told everyone

::: posted by Anonymous at 12:10 AM :::

Saturday, May 03, 2003 :::



::: posted by Anonymous at 8:28 AM :::


I'm not much in the mood to jack with my website. Seems like I'm always doing something to it. *growling*
I miss my dog. I went out with David and a couple of his friends and they were all talking about their dogs. I miss mine. He was a good dog. A rather picky eater, I'll admit, but he was mine and I loved him. I think I may have some fried chicked today in sort of homage to him. I'm sure if he'd not been killed then he'd certainly be dead now. He didn't exactly have a healthy diet. I want another dog. I just feel like I'm in need of the unconditional love that only a pet can give. And I'm not talking fish here, ya know? How dogs'll look up at you with their big eyes and know just when to lick your face... how they'll growl at you when you've pissed 'em off and in the next breath they'll be nudging you to pet 'em. *sigh* We have a dog now... but she's not mine. She's nice and all, but kind of on the dumb side. She's my brother's dog, and since he's got a house now she'll be moving to Dallas soon. My sis said that I could get a dog then. She kinda knows what it's like for me, I guess. I've never not had a pet. Even when I lived in Houston I had Troi. He's dead now too. I'd like a pug. Thing is, as soon as school starts again I'll be a lot busier and won't have so much time to spend with an animal. And I want a puppy, so I can't just be going off to school and then work and then out and around. In a way I guess I had kind of adopted Lucky... he's a kind of here and now for me. No long-term commitment required. He's all grown up and when school starts for me again he wouldn't hold it against me. I miss him, though. Can't hardly imagine how David's feeling now. I mean... I went over there this morning for something... and David's apt just seemed so big and empty without him. And I've only known the dog for a couple of months. Makes me not ever want to live alone again. Now that all this is going on I can't hardly believe I did, even if it was just for a little while.

::: posted by tinafish at 5:57 AM :::


Well I'm jacking around with my homepage. *sigh* I need a new job. Or a book. What I need is a good book. Or maybe some friends to chat with. No, I take that back. I need friends to chat with that have something to chat about. Yes. That's what I need.

::: posted by tinafish at 2:37 AM :::


Wow... so Vee's band is doing well. That site's pretty awesome, ya'll. I want this shirt:

::: posted by tinafish at 12:27 AM :::