Tuesday, November 30, 2004 :::
someone's being fiesty tonight
the most prominent example has got to be something that happened just a few minutes ago.
we were talking about me being overdrawn...
and tim said I'll have to sell my body.
I said he couldn't afford me.
and then he said, "not with this job."
and out of nowhere aaron grabbed a nickel & handed it to me.
after we all stopped laughing he said he was expecting change.
*hurt*
and I've lost my phone...
ooh! my �ber awesome supervisor just bought us large sodas and apple pies from mcdonald's!
*stoked*
::: posted by tinafish at 7:23 PM :::
all my pics are back!!!
and with captions, no less!
\m/
::: posted by tinafish at 5:16 PM :::
ok so... without the fangs & with his hair down... and assuming jesus spent some time in prison... or something...
::: posted by tinafish at 5:14 AM :::
screenshots are high in vitamins
if anyone knows where I can get a better picture to use, email me!
anyone have any idea where I left my netflix dvds?
and thanks for the pie adrian!
/me hugs you
::: posted by tinafish at 4:36 AM :::
Monday, November 29, 2004 :::
he intercoms asking me to come to the web dept...
then the chach intercoms back saying I no longer work here...
then cheese boy intercoms back saying, "Thank God!"
and har har har lots of laughs.
and here's a pic of his big hand!
I want pumpkin pie.
::: posted by tinafish at 9:32 PM :::
unavoidable in lubbock:
::: posted by tinafish at 9:07 PM :::
So about my trip.
I left lubbock @ ~ 0230 Tuesday night/Wednesday morning.
I got to Raymondville ~ 1400 or so... took a shower & picked up my friend Webster and then headed to harlingen.
erm... here how 'bout I just pretend they're posts... or something...
lol.
Wednesday November 24, 2004
first things first - not even 10 seconds after I got to my mother's house she already insulted me... from inside the gate she kinda hollared over and said, "You know, I didn't think it was possible, but you ~have~ gotten fatter."
*grr*
so anyway... aside from that...
went to harlingen to get fitted for the dress, found out I needed shoes... went to the mall & spent too much money on a strapless bra and a pair of shoes... saw some old friends... took this pic... hooked up w/ Jay... and Amy showed up too.
Then Webster, Amy and I went back to the seamstress to get my dress sewn together.
Then my friends Johnathan (who's now a cop, which is ~really~ weird), Micheal (who already graduated & is just bumming around looking for a job), & Webster & I went out for dinner...
afterwards we all went to play some pool, and Jay met us up there too.
Had Johnathan take me to my hotel... then BoB and I got in a fight...
and then I went to sleep.
Thursday November 25, 2004
Happy Thanksgiving, ya'll. Went to my sister's and got told how fat I am by all my sisters & my brother-in-law. On the flip side, I did get to just chill w/ my nieces & nephews. So I had a lot of fun.
I didn't eat much, for obvious reasons...
I watched Shrek 2 w/ my niece The Kid. She's such a sweetie, ya'll.
Grabbed Sambo and met up w/ Johnathan again... planned on going to Mexico but... we didn't.
Took them back to Raymondville... and I went to sleep after that... I think.
nope. I went to Brownsville w/ Amy & 2 of her bridesmaids. Then we stopped by the bachelor party... I met all the groomsmen & had a few Sour Apple Smirnoffs... And yeah, then I went to sleep.
Oh wait! I had dinner w/ Joe Martin @ Jack in the Box!
rawk!
\m/
and ~then~ I went to sleep.
Friday November 26, 2004
Went to the Wedding Rehearsal @ 0900. Then Mike came into town from Houston... And... we went to pick up my dress, only to find out that Lea (one of the bridesmaids) had run off w/ my dress (even though it was a different color, too long, too small around the waist, and too big in the bust)!
So Mike & I went to have lunch at Luby's while we waited for Lea to take my dress back to the shop. Then... we went to the hotel to start getting ready.
I painted my nails & fell asleep while Mike was in the shower...so I went and fucked up my nails.
*grr*
We got dressed, and Johnathan stopped by my hotel so I could take a picture of him in his uniform. And I licked him (don't read too much into it, I did that a lot while I was down).
Then we went to the Wedding, which was awesome! Amy looked great, and we all kinda shuffled around like we were supposed to and all. They couldn't get the rings off the pillow, so they needed to find someone with a knife... no worries there; Amy's half mexican, and her husbands full, so there was more than one person in the audience w/ a pocket knife.
We didn't take pictures there, not 'till later @ the dance hall.
The food was good... not very much of it, but we all know that I'm just a hungry girl.
Mike hasn't danced since I lived in Houston, so he was all stepping on me. I took pics licking a few of the groomsmen & one of me licking amy, too....
we stayed 'till it was over, then went back to the hotel. I talked to Adrian 'till I fell asleep.
Saturday November 27, 2004
Mike left 1000ish. I was sad to see him go.
Had been planning on going to Mexico w/ my nephews, but they didn't wake up.
Went to my niece's bday party @ McDonald's in Raymondville. She loved the stuff I gave her... or at least she pretended to. Also, my brother in law gave her a cell phone... wtf is a 6-yr-old gonna do w/ a cell phone?
Had planned on having dinner w/ Joe Martin @ Kumori in McAllen, but I forgot that I'd told Johnathan I'd go to a wedding w/ him. So I had to get a hold of an iron to iron out my skirt & shirt... and I put make up on and all that jazz...
We drove across the valley to that wedding... food was good, but it wasn't an open bar. $9 for a long island ice tea. yikes.
Took some pics w/ the bride & groom... and their photographer thought we were all really good friends 'cause he had us take ~ 5 pics w/ them... and the groom thought I was john's chick... which is really funny.
Then Johnathan was bitching about my weight... and we decided to go to the island.
Sat on the beach and smoked cloves. It was great. A little chilly, but a good chilly, not the I-wanna-cause-hypothermia cold there is here... just humid and a bit chilly.
I ended up driving back to my hotel, and john stayed the night w/ me 'cause he was too sleepy to drive home.
Sunday November 28, 2004
Had to pack... and Johnathan agreed to go to Mexico w/ me so I had to wait on him while he went home to shower & stuff.
I drove to raymondville after checkout, and stopped by my friend Webster's house to chat & say bye and all... we went to HEB to take pics w/ beer & to get a new camera.
Dropped my truck off at Johnathan's and we went to Mexico.
I felt like I was using IE w/no pop-up blocker... all those mexicans trying to sell me stuff. *grr*
Ate at... La Rapta, which was nice. Had a couple of drinks while I was shopping... then came back across.
The custom's agent hit on me, which boosted my self-esteem.
Stopped by my high school to take a couple of pics... then went back to Lyford for my truck, and then to Raymondville to say bye to my niece.
Then I left... accidently heading south for a while before I remembered that Lubbock's north.
*blushing*
And the trip was on!
Monday November 29, 2004
got into town ~ 0300. Went to sleep.
You know the rest.
::: posted by tinafish at 6:59 PM :::
about that time again, apparently
not that I've stopped crying... but I do feel I'm doing loads better than I had been.
And I've missed my neice ~so~ much. I remember a while back I was watching... Bad Boys 2... and that part where they take that fella's sister... and he's freaking out about it... I turned around and kinda asked adrian, "wouldn't it be awesome to care that much about someone?" And adrian responded by saying, "who says I don't?"
And I just got quiet, ya know? What could I say?
But I've missed The Kid. A lot. I got to my sister's house on Thanksgiving Day and my neice came running out screaming my name and jumped into my arms and I just hugged her.
And I cried.
I've missed her. Adrian had said something that first time I went out w/ him... he was looking at the pics I have in my room, and I've got this pic of The Kid where she's just laying there w/ her little arms behiind her head... and it's the ~cutest~ picture, ya'll.
And... I mentioned to him that I hadn't seen her since I moved up here (almost 3 years now)... and he asked why.
I tried to explain about my shit family life, but all he said was, "that's no reason to punish her."
... and that... really hit home.
So when I was down there just hugging her, I realized... I ~do~ care that much about someone.
Anyhow. New pic and new song.
(and if you don't know what song I'm talking about take a look in the upper right hand corner, not your status bar)
so yeah...
Guess I'll blog about my trip at work or something... or maybe later tonight...
I took loads of pics but I'm overdrawn right now so it'll most likely be a while before I can get them developed.
if you feel like donating to the fund, I've still got that paypal link down below.
/me winks
::: posted by tinafish at 1:29 PM :::
there:
/me hates it here
and I promise I'll blog about my trip later - it was ~awesome~!!!!
::: posted by tinafish at 12:37 PM :::
Tuesday, November 23, 2004 :::
in a continued theme of me being a cold hearted bitch...
and yeah... after asking around I finally found out who he was... and we went out for lunch or something... and I vividly remember we went to the mall in brownsville, and that we went into hot topic and I was appalled that he actually expected me to go into the store w/ him. (this was back when I dressed like a spice girl and didn't even own a pair of jeans)
anyhow... I remember one day he emailed me the lyrics to this song... apparently he'd taken to listening to country music for me...
*rolling eyes*
Anyway. Enough of an intro.
/me loves this song.
So I'm leaving town tonight... I forgot to do laundry last night... and by "forgot" I mean I didn't stop by an atm so I had no cash to get quarters so I couldn't do laundry.
I think I'm gonna go by my apt and pick up my laundry and take it to my sister's to do it there.
I've gotta get my bum over there either way, since I need to see if I own any shoes that could possibly work w/ the dress I'll be wearing to the wedding.
I'm really nervous about going home. I haven't been back since I left (about 3 years ago). I miss my neices & nephews loads, but I'm not too enchanted about seeing my mom & my sisters again.
And then there are my "friends" back home... yikes, ya know?
I'm fucking whaling. And I'm gonna hear it constantly the whole time I'm down.
(which is ~not~ good for my already low self esteem)
*sigh*
guess I've gotta go back to pretending to be a duck.
heh.
so anyway... I'm leaving tonight.
adrian's gonna watch the shrub for me.
I need to nickname him, too.
I'll hafta think about that one, though.
Speaking of nicknames... apparently a couple of guys here at work aren't too stoked w/ their nicknames... so I may be forced to use their real names only, instead of their real names & nick names interchangeably.
*devastated*
lol
what else? I can't seem to remember what else I was wanting to blog about.
I've just started mapping the route I'll be taking... I hadn't planned on working that out, since I mean...
the valley's south, ya'll. So just head south. I mean... if I hit Mexico just follow the border down to the coast. And I'll be in the valley.
easy enough, ya know?
Just there's some bad weather or something... I've decided to skip houston on my way down... I'll prolly end up going there on Wed night or so... And spending part of thanksgiving in Corpus and part in the Valley.
Ahh yes, now I remember what I wanted to blog about.
Dunno if I mentioned this, since I do try to keep up this facade of a wonderful life, but my mother said I was not welcome at her table for thanksgiving.
She called me this weekend to ask that I do stop by.
I don't know what I'm going to do. I think I'll probably end up regretting it if I do stop by, but I know I'll regret it more if I don't. Like I was saying earlier, I haven't seen my neices or nephews in forever.
So I guess I know what I'll be doing.
So here's to wonderful holidays spent with family.
*sigh*
::: posted by tinafish at 6:47 PM :::
so I guess a shrub-sitter?
yeah... I need someone to watch my shrub for a few days while I'm out of town.
I'm willing to bring him to you, and... really all he needs is water and some sun.
(no need to read shakespeare to him or anything)
anyone up to it?
::: posted by tinafish at 1:17 PM :::
Monday, November 22, 2004 :::
the chach thinks my face looks like jenna jameson... only if I had thinner eyebrows, a lighter complexion, and long blonde hair...
rofl.
so I guess not at all, huh?
and is it just me... or... he's ~gotta~ be watching crap pr0n if he's looking at her face.
/me shrugs
so yeah, about the title... then we were talking about cinemax... apparently gizmo & milk dud were watching this porn called SpiderBabe... and it sucked.
some chick was giving head, but it was in the middle of the guy's chest...
and we were talking about how she must've had a tracheotomy... which brings the phrase "deep throat" to a whole new level.
heh.
::: posted by tinafish at 4:54 PM :::
We all went to see The Incredibles yesterday... and when we were walking back to adrian's truck she was all holding my hand and stuff. It was so cute. I'd forgotten how much fun little kids are.
(and she calls adrian "bubba" which about had me rolling around laughing)
(erm... you didn't hear that from me)
we were supposed to go to Open Jam at the spoon, but I ended up not wanting to.
We watched eddie izzard and just sat around chatting after that. Dan even stayed out there talking w/ us, which was really cool.
*looks at clock*
eek! I've still gotta get my bum across town to grab my truck!
*runs off to shower*
::: posted by tinafish at 2:12 PM :::
I picked up some valium, then came home and had a bit to drink so that the valium got me drunk instead of making me sleepy.
Waited for Adrian to show up.... and once he did we jacked around a bit and then finally headed out.
went to this bar called CapRock Cafe. I hadn't been there since I was dating that molecular biologist who is... 8 years old than me? I had fun that night, but yeah.... he actually acted his age.
*rolling eyes*
So yes. We were there for a few mins when the chach & crew, oh and Gizmo actually showed up too, well we all headed over to Pour House.
By the time we got there it was packed - more people than I've ever seen there.
Then again, I've never gone there on a friday night.
um... annoying people are a buzz killer.
We left ~ 0030ish... came home & talked and stuff.
I put on Eddie Izzard & adrian was asleep w/in the first 10 mins. I watched pretty much the whole thing, but adrian's rhythmic snoring finally got the best of me & I fell asleep too.
But I got to watch it again Saturday night, w/ Doke & Lus. And while lus fell asleep doke stayed up w/ me & watched it.
\m/
And I think that's all that happened... I don't remember doing anything else.
::: posted by tinafish at 12:04 PM :::
Sunday, November 21, 2004 :::
when I remembered something about last night.
Lus had a couple of Dos XXs (I have ~no~ idea how to say/spell that) from a bottle.
For the last one he had, he squeezed his lime into it then covered the opening w/ his thumb and proceeded to invert the bottle, then bring it back to right side up.
And I was just sitting there watching him, and I guess I'm staring kinda intently, 'cause he brings it up to about eye level w/ me... about 6 inches from my face.
Then he burps it.
And I get a combo of lime juice & beer sprayed into my face.
and I've been drinking too, and I remember thinking, "that's gonna spray," but not having enough time to close my eyes.
So I got a few drops of the beer/lime juice mix in my eyes.
And it hurt.
And for the rest of the night I was really gun shy around lus whenever he picked up his beer.
After a while he let his guard down and I grabbed his beer, put my hand over the opening, and started shaking it w/ the full intent of spraying him down.
However... Lus is significantly stronger than I am.
And he managed to get the bottle aimed back at me... and I almost dove under the table.
It was really funny ya'll.
Doke was sitting beside me, on my other side, and when we were trying to tell him about it we did a bit of a re-enactment, and I snapped this pic:
I had a great time last night... it ended on a bit of a sour note, though.
And also I was having weird dreams about stuff coming out of my computer screen and having something to do w/ mutants... (can you tell I watched Xmen 2 & a bit of The Ring last night?)
wow I'm such a wuss.
anyhow... I better shower, etc before the movie.
::: posted by tinafish at 2:56 PM :::
it's a cream train! a longer one! and it's been derailed!
then we went out to dinner @ Joe's Crab Shack - always awesome food.
/me loves coconut shrimp
We both had a drink there... and I was buzzing when we left.
We headed over the Oyster Bar where Lus & his friend Brandy met up w/ us.
Brandy left after a while, but the three of us stayed 'till closing.
then to ihop! (which is always fun)
then... here! to watch Eddie Izzard (/me winks @ Adrian)
and what else?
ahh yes... we took lots of pics. And instead of making drunken phone calls I was sending pictures to everyone. lol.
well... not everyone. Only a select few.
*blushing*
And I can't believe I almost didn't mention this:
Lus is such a sweetie... but if it's not one thing it's another.
He was drinking a bit @ the OB, and so he hitched a ride w/ doke & I. Here a few mins ago I went & dropped my truck off @ my sis's so my dad could take a look at it before I drive to the valley this tues. So I offered to either let Lus crash here (he slept through most of Dress to Kill) or take him to his house.
He chose to get driven home... and as we were turning onto his street (he lives a whopping 3 or 4 blocks from me) he realizes that he left his house keys in his car... back at the OB.
So across town we go.
lol.
so anyway... check my moblog for pics from tonight.
::: posted by tinafish at 6:20 AM :::
Saturday, November 20, 2004 :::
in fact, I think I'll go back to bed.
gonna go watch the incredibles w/ adrian & his neice in the morning...
gonna do stuff w/ doke today to celebrate his bday...
happy bday doke!
think I'm gonna take a nap for a bit.
::: posted by tinafish at 12:18 PM :::
Friday, November 19, 2004 :::
and...
um...
I woke up ~ 1130 or so... dan was home and he was laughing about how he can never tell when I'll be awake or not.
He was having mcdonald's... and now I want mcdonalds.
Also my shrubbery is doing well.
Adrian came over last night... you'd think macs were hard to work with or something, just from the way people treat them.
/me loves my mac
What else?
we're going out tonight.... the chach still hasn't decided where, though.
::: posted by tinafish at 5:00 PM :::
Thursday, November 18, 2004 :::
and doke just showed me this, which is kinda cool too.
I'm really tired.
We were running around while the married d00d sprayed us w/ compressed air...
erm...
let me clarify... he's using a can of compressed air.
erm..
*gives up*
and now my hand hurts 'cause robert threw a cd at me & it hit my hand and it hurts a lot.
*sigh*
Ooh!
CD FRISBEE OLYMPICS!
::: posted by tinafish at 9:11 PM :::
I don't really remember what I blogged about, though...
I haven't had a crush since I was in junior high.
Those of you who've known me that long will remember... I was crushing hard on this d00d named Xavier.
His locker was directly above mine, and we just happened to have the exact same locker locks. So like... if I forgot my lock key, I could just use his, or vice versa.
I vividly remember this one afternoon after school... I think he had stayed late for football practice, and I was there for UIL or something... and I was already at my locker... and he reached down around me, kinda hugging me... whispered in my ear, asking if he could borrow my key.
Even now just thinking about it I get goosebumps. I think I still have this polaroid from one of my halloween parties where he's hugging me.
how funny.
And I always thought that those feelings - the butterflies in my stomach and the giggly ditzy me - I always just figured that was 'cause I was so young.
Apparently that's just how I act when I've got a crush.
heh.
So I came to that meeting this morning... it was long and boring. HR stuff always is, though.
Afterward the Chach, the Jesus Fan, and I went out to this mexican restaurant called Picante's for lunch. I had chalupas, and my manners reverted to what they were when I was 2.
lol.
seriously, though... it was like... disgusting. I had to have tim open the door to the bathroom and turn the water on for me... 'cause there was no way I was gonna be able to do it.
then I went home for a few, till Lus got there. We went to PourHouse for lunch. I had one of those heavenly shrimp wraps, and since he paid last time we were there I got the bill. Wasn't bad, though. And at least I didn't have anything to drink.
Before he took me home we stopped @ a smoke shop & picked up a few boxes of cloves.
I've been wanting to smoke for a while, and for whatever reason so has Lus... so yeah. It's been great.
brought to you from The Gutter:
Enquiring minds want to know -> Does Mrs. Kerry have a hairy back? And if so, is the hair braided?
::: posted by tinafish at 6:11 PM :::
it's never been this one before...
and I think more often others find similarities too.
I just got this one... and I think it's kinda harsh.
Guess I've been compared to worse - hence the title of this blog.
3 Libras, off Mer de Noms, by A Perfect Circle
threw you the obvious
and you flew with it on your back
a name in your recollection,
thrown down among a million same.
difficult not to feel a little bit
disappointed and passed over
when i've looked right through
to see you naked but oblivious
and you don't see me.
but i threw you the obvious
just to see if there's more behind
the eyes of a fallen angel,
eyes of a tragedy.
here i am expecting just a little bit
too much from the wounded
but i see through it all
see through and see you
cause i threw you the obvious
to see what occurs behind
the eyes of a fallen angel,
eyes of a tragedy.
oh well. oh well.
apparently nothing.
apparently nothing at all.
you don't see me.
you don't see me at all.
::: posted by tinafish at 5:53 AM :::
(8) the road goes on forever and the party never ends (8)
Dan's gone to bed...
so has The Chach.
*sigh*
I just found out about a meeting I'm supposed to go to tomorrow morning...
so sorry for not believing you robert!
what else?
ahh yes...
I was looking at new dock icons for adium...
thought this was suitable:
ooh Blade's over now...
think I'll watch the saint.
I've seen it once at my bro's place... aaaages ago... I don't hardly remember anything about it.
honestly I don't remember anything at all about it, aside from the name.
*shrug*
.oO(the wall is boring to stare at)
::: posted by tinafish at 3:02 AM :::
So I just got back from having dinner @ ihop w/ my friend Robert.
Had fun...
I hate people who watch what they eat.
Life's too short to not stop & enjoy a twinkie.
Work was great... nothing too bad happened, hence me not blogging about work.
Oh - about the title...
Robert had all the little cream cups out on the table... and they were touching each other by tabs... kinda like a train...
and he said, "It's a cream train!"
and it was really funny... 'cause it was said in complete innocence...
and we laughed about it for a while.
check my moblog for a couple of pics.
::: posted by tinafish at 1:40 AM :::
Wednesday, November 17, 2004 :::
this is - first and foremost - my diary
Doke sent me those flowers, with a note. It's a beautiful note, it really is... just...
I'm not able to recipricate those feelings.
And I wish I could. He's been great to me - he really has. But when it comes down to it he's still just my friend.
heh.
I say "just" like it's a bad thing.
There are guys I date... who are replaceable.
There are guys I date exclusively... still replaceable, but of more value to me.
There are the guys I've been engaged to... 2 of the 4 were very close friends of mine, but the other 2 were... not.
There are my friends... who matter more to me than family.
And in my heirarchy of rltnships the most important are those I've called my boyfriends.
It's rather complicated... in everyday conversation I may refer to some guy I'm just dating exclusively as my bf... mostly that's just 'cause it's loads easier than admitting to everyone I'm a (in the words of my gay friend Chris) cold-hearted bitch.
lol.
truth be told, I've really only had 2 bfs... and they are guys that I was, and still am willing to, spend the rest of my life with.
But things didn't work out, and that's not really a bad thing.
There are no happy endings.
*shrug*
And doke... we "dated exclusively" but he didn't understand the only reason I was nice to him is 'cause we were friends before we started dating.
I never even meant for us to date.
ever.
I mean, I figured when I met him that at some point we'd probably date... but that was back before I'd met David.
We kept in touch... I mean... as friends, ya know? And when david & I split up and I needed a drinking buddy he's one of the guys I called.
*sigh*
Don't get me wrong... nothing ever happened when I was drunk.
He truly cares for me, and he's not the type of person who'd take advantage of me.
I just felt that since he was being so good to me, that I ought to give him a chance.
And that was the wrong decision.
In the end, this is just gonna hurt him; I should have let him be.
I'm just waiting for him to realize that.
::: posted by tinafish at 2:12 AM :::
Tuesday, November 16, 2004 :::
gardenias.
they're my favorite flower.
back home we have bushes growing outside right along the dining room windows.
makes for a wonderful dinner when the windows are open w/ a slight breeze.
thank you.
::: posted by tinafish at 10:20 PM :::
I leave my door unlocked whenever I'm home and awake, and when I went
to bed this morning I thought about locking the door, but the
maintenance guy was there working on the hole in the wall.
Noonish a couple of the guys show up, and they just walk right in
instead of knocking... 'cuase that's what they do, ya know?
And I remember hearing the maintenance guy get up and come to my
bedroom door and say, "you have... visitors."
It was pretty funny. Well, I thought it was.
And now that I'm thinking about it, I have no idea what time it was.
But yeah...
There was a potted plant that they had... dunno how that works into
the equation.
At first I thought they had brought it over, but I noticed a fedex box
on my way out the door when I was coming to work.
No clues, though. All it said was "third party...." I don't remember
exactly what it said, but it means that someone else was billed for
it.
So yeah...
My head hurts.
I should go home and go to bed tonight, but I just told AJ I'd go to
bleachers w/ him & some of his crew.
I need a designated driver.
::: posted by tinafish at 6:10 PM :::
well...
here's a pic of it now, before maintenance patches it up:
::: posted by tinafish at 9:08 AM :::
Dan & I went to walmart to buy stuff... we look like we were stocking up for a storm shelter...
then went over to Robert's for dinner... and when I say dinner I mean I had a boston creme pie while he watched.
Then stopped at the hospital for a few hours just to shoot the bull w/ the crew.
Fixing to go to ihop w/ Lus...
Then going to speeds in the morning w/ my old crew.
So yeah... we're heading out now.
::: posted by tinafish at 5:28 AM :::
Monday, November 15, 2004 :::
the jesus fan:
the married d00d:
I love working here.
*grin*
::: posted by tinafish at 7:51 PM :::
check my moblog for pics of us working!
::: posted by tinafish at 7:36 PM :::
seems you're in dire need of an update
But I figured since yesterday was such a blur I'd like to remember it as best I can...
and since I use this to keep track of what I've done & when I've done it...
yeah.
So yesterday I went to the mall @ 1500. was there for ~ an hour and a half... bought 3 pairs of jeans and a sweater. I just took a pic of me in that sweater, so I'll link to it here in a few.
I like it a lot (the sweater)... dan didn't seem too fond of it, hence my buying it in such a hurry.
lol.
I was also looking at buying a nightmare before christmas bedspread or a tinkerbell bedspread, and a crow tshirt... but I ended up not buying anything there 'cause dan was bitching that I'd sprayed him down w/ perfume so he needed to go home and change before the movie.
Dan was going to watch a movie that started @ 1700, so we left the mall @ ~ 1630.
So I got home @ ~ 1645... and that's when I started drinking.
I called my friend Topher to come over to drink w/ me, but by the time he got there I was already buzzing.
I had been trying to make buttery nipples, but I didn't know how... I ended up mixing buttershots w/ chocolate liqueor. And Doke showed up... I don't really remember much else...
I had some alize w/ vodka... and um...
I got locked in the bathroom. I remember knocking on the door and kinda mumbling "help! help!"
Doke got the door open... said he used the keys to his car to open the door.
I passed out @ ~ 2100. like... completely out.
I woke up @ ~ 0030. I remember thinking doke had spent the night 'cause I was asking for water and I rolled over and found a bottle of water on a chair next to my bed.
It wasn't 'till ~ 0130 that I realized he wasn't there.
Dan was getting up to shower so I talked to him for a while... doke'd left me a note to call him when I came to so I did.
I was starving so he dropped by w/ some food... just chilled 'till morning.
And oh this morning...
I knocked a hole in the bathroom wall.
And I was sober when this happened!
Like... I was slipping... so I tried to stop myself from falling by pushing up agst the wall... and the wall just caved.
Well not the entire wall, but 4 tiles worth.
And it's weird; not like I kicked at the wall just applied a bit of steady pressure.
Maybe this is God telling my fat ass to stop eating so damn much?
*thinking about it*
naw.
/me winks
::: posted by tinafish at 7:05 PM :::
But anyway.
Once I woke up, I was chatting w/ Dan... and he sent this pic to me... and anyway... it keeps scaring the crap outta me everytime I toggle to ichat (since I've just been hiding it instead of closing it).
check it out:
here's the actual image... apparently he uses it as his avatar.
/me sighs
yeah.
um... guess I'll blog more later... even though I'm WIDE AWAKE W/ NO ONE TO TALK TO!!!
seems to be a recurring theme, no?
::: posted by tinafish at 5:24 AM :::
Sunday, November 14, 2004 :::
you're supposed to add "btwn the sheets" to the end
Pain is temporary; the success it brings can be everlasting.
That's what adrian's fortune cookie said.
And that's like... woah. well, when you add the "btwn the sheets" it is.
I've always done the whole "in bed" added on, but whatever works, I guess.
I just finished watching 8mm.
Someone should've warned me (and yes that means you, robert!) that it was so graphic.
I was gonna put on another movie, but I seriously need to go to the mall tomorrow.
like, ~seriously~.
so g'night ya'll.
*scampers off to bed*
::: posted by tinafish at 6:51 AM :::
~you~ took the fucking jam outta my donut
I guess if there was something to do, then I wouldn't be bored.
I played fable for a little over an hour... then I went and lost interest.
I thought about playing halo2... but I'm more about LANing halo than playing alone or even w/ just 4 other players.
So yeah... I'm bored.
And hungry.
We had chinese food from Little Panda. I'd never eaten there before, but it was really good.
I had Brocolli Beef, and some egg drop soup... and a crab wonton.
Adrian'd called them crabcakes, which was a big lie. They were wontons.
So they had cream cheese in them.
yuck.
"he ain't a set of fucking car keys, is he? And it's not as if he's incon-fucking-spicuous, now is it?"
lol
/me loves that line
I love Brad Pitt in this movie. Well, I guess I love Mickey. He's great - how he accidently just knocks the guys out. It just cracks me up.
I also love how Borris just happens to carry a cleaver around w/ him.
and that line BrickTop tells Turkish when Turkish asks if he takes sugar in his tea... "no thanks turkish, I'm sweet enough."
I've been waiting my whole life to say that to someone.
lol.
Oh and the part where Turkish is explaining Coursing to Tommy... "proper fucked?"
and the part where they're using replicas... "Extra loud blanks? In case we have to deafen them to death?"
rofl
so the movie's over.
guess I'll put in another one.
*still bored*
::: posted by tinafish at 3:04 AM :::
I'm bored.
I watched Master and Commander... and... Good Morning Vietnam.... over @ Adrian's.
Good Morning Vietnam was as good as I'd heard. I really enjoyed it.
Master and Commander was... interesting, but not really my scene. Russell Crowe is annoying.
I finally wound up in bed last night... erm... *cough cough* this morning... at ~ 0830.
I woke up @ 1000 & tried to get Dan to go to the mall w/ me, but he didn't cooperate.
So I went back to bed & didn't wake up 'till ~ 1430 or so.
And when I finally got around to finding my phone... I'd missed something like 12 calls!
So it's no wonder it was thrown across the room.
lol.
what else?
When we watched Star Wars that other night Yoda was freaking me out.
Like he was on crack or something...
And I started biting my nails.
And I dunno if you know this, but once my nails are short I'll keep biting them.
It's a vicious cycle.
*notices couch is empty*
where'd dan go?
::: posted by tinafish at 12:57 AM :::
Saturday, November 13, 2004 :::
It wasn't bad...
Loads better than the new ones.
I'm still peeved about the second new one... how it was a chick flick in disguise.
I'm still up and still chatting w/ doke.
He's a good guy.
I'm thinking I'm gonna go to the mall in the morning.
I need new jeans.
I'm ~still~ gaining weight.
Gawd. By the time I actually get to the valley I'll be even bigger than I am now.
/devasted
I guess I shouldn't bitch... I do eat twinkies by the box and all.
I haven't decided if I'm gonna actually go through w/ cutting & coloring my hair after the wedding.
I know Gloria'd freak out.
It'd be fun, though... to have a different hair color again.
What I'm not real sure about is cutting my hair. I'm aiming to cut it shorter than I've ever had it... which isn't "short" by the styling industry's standards.
My hair (which reaches to my mid-back right now) is absurdly long. What they call long is anything that reaches the shoulders. Short would be like a crew cut or something.
So I'll only be getting it cut to medium length, but like I said, that's still shorter than I've ever had it.
So I slept for about an hour before I went to work this past morning...
And about another hour before I went to work this past afternoon...
And I've been up since last night...
.oO(no wonder I'm hungry)
rofl - and see? I bitch about gaining weight.
*rolling eyes*
someone remind me that I'm supposed to eat to live, not live to eat.
::: posted by tinafish at 4:51 AM :::
I feel like I've gotten dumber over time.
Ok. If you know anything about me, you know my attitude towards intelligence.
So I guess that's not a good statement.
I feel like I'm much better at playing video games than I should be.
I feel like I've vegged out for long enough.
Now don't get me wrong, I'm not gonna stop going out... Lord knows I'm not ready for that.
But I do think it's about time for me to wrestle something with my mind.
Or at least to stimulate my mind.
And I do mean aside from strategically pressing buttons.
/me sighs
Doke and I are looking through my wishlist right now...
Think I'm gonna get a few of the below:
Brave New World, and Brave New World Revisited
The Theory of Everything: The Origin and Fate of the Universe
Farenheit 451
I Will Bear Witness: A Diary of the Nazi Years, 1933-1941
Who's Afraid of Schrodinger's Cat : All The New Science Ideas You Need To Keep Up With The New Thinking
The Communist Manifesto
Boys From Brazil
The Battle For God
So yeah... anyone else wanna help me narrow it down a bit?
::: posted by tinafish at 3:49 AM :::
Friday, November 12, 2004 :::
and I thought it was really cool, until Gizmo pointed out a striking resemblance to... a certain something.
anyhow...
here it is:
and now I'll be switching back to the green ipod girl.
::: posted by tinafish at 6:15 PM :::
in ascii... it says I LIKE PIE.
well, pi like 3.1415....
so yeah. Work is always fun.
Our fearless leader, AKA the sup, has now acquired a nickname.
He's not here today, but I thought I'd mention it anyway, since I decided on it last night but forgot to blog about it.
He will, from this day forth, be known as...
*drumroll*
Chach.
Oh and while I still remember... when I woke up this morning I was convinced I was gonna be in a gymnastics competition w/ the day supervisor when I came into work.
weird, huh.
so yes... until next time...
::: posted by tinafish at 5:47 PM :::
*sigh*
I've been up since pretty much... 0230 or so.
I guess I'm just trying to tell ya'll it's really boring at 0300 at my apt.
Dan & someone else were both asleep.
So I just sat there and sulked... watched first contact for fun...
fell back to sleep just in time to hear dan get up to shower...
and then my alarm went off.
I want a donut.
::: posted by tinafish at 9:12 AM :::
I went to bed as soon as I got home from work, and now I'm wide awake.
I've been working on my links page for fishykisses.com, but it's not going well. mostly 'cause I'm just not motivated.
*sigh*
Also, I got distracted and wound up changing desktops again. this one's my favorite ipod one. Well, I do prefer that the background were pink, like the other ipod one...
lol
unless ya'll have been reading this for aaaages ya'll aren't gonna have a clue what I'm talking about.
so here's a screenshot:
so anyway...
think I'll try to get back to sleep, since I have to go to work in the morning.
yay! <--note sarcasm
::: posted by tinafish at 4:31 AM :::
Thursday, November 11, 2004 :::
a pair of buttery nipples for everyone!
celebrate the marine corps bday. Dan bailed.
actually I got really toasted.
At least I didn't wake up next to anyone.
And again, no hangover.
which I guess is a good thing.
but I was ~really~ toasted last night.
I hate that. I know I'm drunk, and all I can do is say, "pay no attn
to me, I'm toasted," when I really ought to be finding out when I can
stop and just be buzzing instead of drunk.
And I sincerely consider it a good night if I'm not hitting on the
guys I'm with.
My buddy brandon is always making a big show of trying to bag me,
which is really kinda funny.
Just kinda.
He bought us all a pair of buttery nipples, since I'd never had any before.
Also, we had chocolate martinis. They were a lot smoother than the
one I had at cafe J's... I dunno if it's cause the barkeep @ Cafe J's
makes them stronger, or if I've just been drinking so much since then
that it actually felt smooth. And the guy put a hug in it, on the end
of one of those little plastic swords that olives usually go on...
and chocolate syrup in the glass.
mmmmmmmmm...
I've gotta take lus out there to try them.
My back hurts... I do wonder if I fell over and just don't remember it.
::: posted by tinafish at 5:03 PM :::
Wednesday, November 10, 2004 :::
and lookee! He's fully clothed!
and yeah... he's not very thuggish...
.oO(is that a word?)
oh and that's Icus in the background, btw!
(and I still need to make his nametag!)
::: posted by tinafish at 10:55 PM :::
so we're raggin on my sup masterbating...
blah blah blah
and so I said something like, "you're too muscular."
and so my sup (who will soon be acquiring a nickname) turns to the married d00d, thinking it was the married d00d I was referring to.
So I point at him (my susp) to reiterate who I was talking about.
So then these two guys start comparing muscles...
and my sup says, "you don't have to definition in the forearm," to the married d00d.
To which the married d00d responds, by miming jacking off, saying "'cause I'm not always doing that."
and so we all laughed for a while...
I laughed the hardest.
'cause it's funny, ya'll!
::: posted by tinafish at 7:01 PM :::
I guess I rolled over and went back to sleep before I published it.
lol.
I woke up ~ noon choking on blood.
Yes, the dreaded nosebleeds are back.
/me sighs
So that's one today. Godwilling I won't get any more today or tomorrow, otherwise I'm gonna go see a doc about getting the blood vessels in my nose cauterized and be done with it!
~And~ since I have an insurance card now I won't have to pay for it all!
yay!
So anyway... I'm gonna get dressed & go by my sis's.
I've gotta pick up Planet BoB.
I finally made it through the night, but eeyore is too big to hold.
And Planet BoB is the perfect size.
::: posted by tinafish at 1:51 PM :::
with the sunrise comes renewed strength
*purposely not looking at the clock*
So I've made it through the night.
think I'll go back to sleep for some serious rest now.
::: posted by tinafish at 7:28 AM :::
it's been one of those days...
I found out Lucky's dead... and if I hadn't been having such psycho dreams that I called david I don't think I'd have found out at all.
David... I can't hardly begin to imagine how he feels. He's had lucky for aaaaaages, and I vividly remember how torn up he was when Lucky got taken to the pound.
He said he doesn't know what he'd do w/out Squishy.
Sometimes - actually a lot, lately - I've been wondering the same thing.
BoB is getting married.
In November of next year.
I asked him to marry me a few days after david & I split up... he said he didn't want to be the replacement.
He's also said some really hurtful things about why Doke is willing to put up with me.
BoB and I were supposed to go on vacation together this coming spring break.
I ~seriously~ doubt his chick is gonna let him. Lord knows she doesn't trust me, and I dunno if she trusts him or not.
She ought to, though. He's just that kind of guy.
So I guess I've just been having a big pity party today.
And I've been rather mean to Doke today, too.
I've just got a lot on my mind.
I wish sometimes I could talk to him about what's going on inside me, but after what happened this past weekend... he's made it clear that we are no longer "friends" and that he's not willing to go back to it.
And that's what I need right now, ya know?
I need friends.
The other night my roommate & I stayed up late just talking. About nothing, really. And it was one of the most intimate conversations I've ever had.
He thinks it's psycho of me to care so much about BoB getting married.
It's difficult to explain... I mean... even though we spent 8 years together... when it comes down to it, we still fell apart.
heh.
And what happens when I try to be a better girlfriend?
It blows up in my face.
*sigh*
So why do I even bother dating?
I'd decided, when david and I split up, that I was gonna take some time and be single - to find out who I am.
But noooo, I just couldn't do it, could I?
I haven't been single since I was in junior high. Truth be told, being single scares the hell outta me.
I mean, when you're single, who do you call when you have a bad dream?
Your best friend, right?
And what happened to my last best friend?
*sigh*
He said he hated the person he was around me.
Go figure.
Well I guess this is enough venting for now.
I guess when I started this blog I never thought it'd get as much traffic as it does.
I also never really thought anyone I know irl would read this.
I'm just so tired, ya know? I mean...
I want someone to love me for me, and I want to be able to trust that person w/ all of me.
Something I haven't done in years.
here I sit, once again
hurt and almost in tears
and once again, I cry alone...
no one has comforted me in years
No worries ya'll.
I'll feel better in the morning.
::: posted by tinafish at 12:26 AM :::
Tuesday, November 09, 2004 :::
he was a cranky old man, but I loved him
I've just found out Lucky is no longer with us.
This is all I'll be posting today.
::: posted by tinafish at 1:35 PM :::
Monday, November 08, 2004 :::
donkey punching is random and funny
we're here at work... Gizmo made this comment about the Jesus Fan...
here let me set it up.
Gizmo and I are sitting agst one wall, then Milk Dud and my sup are
sitting at the adjacent wall, w/ the jesus fan sitting directly across
the room from me.
Out of nowhere Gizmo says, "Wouldn't it be funny if a random girl just
walked back here and donkey punched you?" (talking to the Jesus Fan).
So yeah... I had ~no~ idea what he was talking about, but Milk Dud
and my supervisor started laughing so hard... in fact, my supervisor
started crying.
After a while I talked them into explaining what they were talking
about, while the Jesus Fan was in the workshop... when he came back
out all 4 of us (minus the Jesus Fan) were laughing.
So yeah...
another wonderful day at work.
lol
::: posted by tinafish at 5:48 PM :::
my friend robert came over last night - we watched kiss of the dragon.
/me loves that movie.
towards the tail end of it my friend brandon finally found my apt...
after the movie brandon & I played some soul calibur 2.
and I got ~pwned~.
rofl
it was great. He's gotta come over and play more often.
I'd still romp him @ tekken, though. lol.
Robert left ~ mn, since he had to get up early to work.
Brandon stayed over & kept me company while I was drinking... I tried not to drink too much lest I wake up next to him or something.
But he went home ~ 0300.
I had a bit of trouble falling asleep once I made it to my bedroom...
called Doke up to chat for a bit.
And I have no idea what we talked about.
lol.
And to top it all off, I forgot to do laundry last night, and then I slept in so I didn't do laundry this morning either.
/me sighs
And I need to stop and put gas on my way to work... so I've gotta leave a bit early...
/me bigger sigh
~and~ I've gotta clean up all the mess I made yesterday while dan was out.
(dan, doke, and one of doke's friends went to see the grudge last night, hence me staying home alone)
I made a bit of a mess... I made cookies, that I burned 'cause Dan threw out the directions so I didn't know how long to cook them for... they weren't too burned since we ate all of them.
And I ate some other stuff, though I don't remember what.
And I made shells & cheese... I tore through that.
had a couple of drinks, and then brandon went home...
then gave doke a ring...
and I'm not sure what time I finally fell asleep, but it was later than I had originally hoped.
I hadn't planned on drinking at all last night... but you know how it goes w/ me.
*sigh*
So I better start cleaning.
::: posted by tinafish at 2:09 PM :::
Sunday, November 07, 2004 :::
my friend Wacky Dog wrote a poem for his chick using links from exploding dog. It's awful cute.
And since I was poking around exploding dog I thought this was pretty cute.
::: posted by tinafish at 3:00 AM :::
Saturday, November 06, 2004 :::
only he didn't want that nav bar thing... so we moved it to his cox allotment...
but then it wasn't updating like it should...
so I had him delete the file on his cox allotment....
and um...
now it's all screwed up.
/me sighs
now I'm sitting up watching hackers.
I just realized that d00d w/ the photographic memory is TinTin from The Crow.
so yeah....
um...
yeah.
::: posted by tinafish at 2:36 AM :::
Friday, November 05, 2004 :::
::: posted by tinafish at 11:42 PM :::
"I've got a place to f-ck your sister."
I love Ron White! and Larry the Cable Guy! and Bill Engvall! and Jeff Foxworthy!
But yeah... I'm watching Ron White. He's great.
Seriously. He just made himself another drink on stage - whiskey on the rocks.
gawd.
So the Housewarming Party's tomorrow... don't think Doke's gonna come by.
Things've kinda gone ta shit.
*sigh*
So anyway....
Work is great.
School is... nonexistant.
Oh! My brother's wife had their 3rd child yesterday.
My bro's all stoked about it.
So yeah... gonna go back to watching the show now.
::: posted by tinafish at 11:30 PM :::
Thursday, November 04, 2004 :::
*basking*
heh...
it's almost time for me to leave work now... I didn't get to blog like I had really wanted to.
*yawn*
I'm pretty hungry.
My netflix dvds came in today... gonna go home & watch some movies.
and have popcorn!
*stoked*
::: posted by tinafish at 8:19 PM :::
so yeah... I'm ~really~ missing the connection at work.
/me sighs
::: posted by tinafish at 1:10 AM :::
Wednesday, November 03, 2004 :::
I miss this connection when I'm at home...
I mean, come on... you'd miss it too.
oh and can anyone tell me how to take screenshots w/ windows?
like... seriously.
::: posted by tinafish at 9:35 PM :::
*sigh*
I'm not having a good day.
::: posted by tinafish at 9:20 PM :::
the power went out, and they weren't letting any of us leave, 'cause we could steal stuff.
It happened again last night.
The power company was having ~loads~ of trouble all yesterday and last night.
Doke & I went to walmart for assorted items, but in the middle of my shopping for a scarf & some gloves the power went out.
we stared at each other for ~ 15 mins then decided to try the gross walmart across town.
Once at the gross walmart I pretty much abandoned my list of things I needed to buy, and ended up going home w/ 3 new pajamas and some shorts and a sweater.
*shaking head*
It's snowing, btw. Well, I'm not sure if it's snowing right this minute, but it was all day yesterday and for most of last night.
it's really cool.
Makes me wanna head to the mountains and just watch the snow fall.
it's so serene.
::: posted by tinafish at 6:08 PM :::
Tuesday, November 02, 2004 :::
melts away sorrows
there is love all around me
per r00
::: posted by tinafish at 8:14 PM :::
at least I wasn't drinking alone...
and he's gotta get up @ 0700 for work.
yikes.
He's already in bed... asleep, I assume.
I'm here... just chilling.
Kinda bored, really.
I was playing soul calibur 2, but I got frustrated 'cause I couldn't beat one of the matches in the whole Weapons Master bit.
*grr*
Speaking of video games, the Jesus Fan and I were talking about video game characters... I'm ~still~ crushing on Hwoarang, ya'll.
*blushing*
too bad I can't play for crap w/ him... all I ever get him to do is switch stances.
*sigh*
but he's ~awful~ cute to look at. Not in that lame gi, but in those BDUs... w/ the spiky red hair...
*drooling*
You know... I really oughtta add him to my top 10 list.
heh.
gawd I'm lame.
On that note...
Time for mi-mi's...
*yawn*
I miss david.
::: posted by tinafish at 3:30 AM :::
Monday, November 01, 2004 :::
lol.
anyhow... if you're in this part of the state feel free to come by.
email me if you have any questions!
::: posted by tinafish at 2:11 PM :::
*wide awake w/ no one to talk to*
It was as bad as I remember it being, but that chick does look good in vinyl.
Helluva lot better than I do.
*sigh*
Also we watched The Crow.
That movie is awesome, and yet... it kinda blows.
I love that line, though... when he's killing Tin Tin, "Victims, aren't we all..."
and also that like about moms... something like... "mother is the word for love on the lips of children..." or something.
I'm way off on that last quote, but oh well.
what can ya do, ya know?
*shrug*
What else?
I fell asleep last night (saturday night) on the floor in my bedroom. That was as far as I made it... at least I didn't vomit, though.
And on Friday night I discovered Gin & Tonics... taste just like lemon water. I had a few of those... was downing them like they were water... while Doke, Dan, & I played darts. We were at Speeds, a place I hadn't been since I was working at the hospital. The guys and I used to go on Saturday mornings, after work, to play pool. Well, I went to play pool. The guys went to get toasted.
Anyhow, back to darts... I was throwing like it was a football, so my arm was pretty sore Saturday morning... in fact, it still is kinda sore.
Training on Saturday morning went well... which means I showed up w/ no hangover.
You know... I still don't think I've actually had a hangover.
heh.
::: posted by tinafish at 3:16 AM :::