Monday, May 31, 2004 :::
The second to last game I played ~awful~. For 4 frames I hit 7 and then 0, then 9-0, then 5-0... it was ~bad~. I kept not hitting anything w/ my second roll.
*sigh*
We walked the dogs just now - went looking for empty apts to maybe move in to. David's supposed to call the apt complex people tomorrow to find out.
We went to walmart earlier - david bought me a couple of books. I'm so excited I can't hardly wait to read them.
look:
and
I'm especially excited about Worlds of st:ds9. I can't hardly wait to read it. He bought them for me so I can have something to do when we go studying.
The genesis force finishes up the whole Genesis Wave series (1, 2, 3), I imagine. I never did finish book 3 of GW, so I guess I'll start over from the beginning and work that all out.
Also, I've ~got~ to read up on all the books that were published after ds9 went off the air. I absolutely ~loved~ Avatar(1, 2) and I know I have Rising Son and both Left Hand of Destiny books (1, 2)... and I read the whole Section 31 bit (1, 2, 3, 4) and all but book 7 of the Gateways line (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7). Oh an I LOVED A Stich in Time. Garak is one of my favorite characters, and this book added a depth to him that I wish the series had allowed for.
Also 7 of 9 is a good character, and I have to admit I love the borg, particularly the BQ. They're the perfect enemy.
And Shinzon was ~hot~ (he's on my Top 10 list, btw)! I loved that Nemesis allowed for us to learn so much about the other planet in the Romulan Empire. Up to now they've always been only slightly mentioned, if at all.
Worf and Gowron are good characters, and Dax. I say Dax 'cause I'm not just talking about Jadzia and Ezri, but all of Dax's hosts. I think I read that book The Lives of Dax a couple of times, and I wish the show had been able to play up that angle.
Who else? I like B'Elana from Voyager in that she's all torn up on the inside and was constantly battling her dual heritage, but I guess that's why so many people love Spock. I can relate more to her, though, since I tend to be a bit hot-blooded myself.
And I love the Andorian from the post-Sisko DS9. I've gotta look up his name, but I do like how the writer finally brings out the whole aspect of Andorian "marriage" that no one else has really mentioned.
and omg I love Q! I recommend everyone read the book I,Q (written by Peter David, who is one of my favorite authors). I love this book.
Who else?
Oh! There's also this other book I have... I can't remember the name of it right now, but it's about Amanda and Sarek's love. It's made me want that ~so~ badly. It's an amazing relationship they had, and it kinda puts a new spin on the whole Emotionless Vulcan persona that's so infamous.
How'd this turn in to a post about star trek?
*sigh*
I'm gonna link to all the books mentioned above, just in case anyone happens to care.
remind me sometime to make a list of all the st books I already own... that way I won't accidently repurchase a book. lol.
::: posted by tinafish at 1:01 AM :::
Sunday, May 30, 2004 :::
See this is what I was talking about!
Wednesday, November 19, 2003 :::
oh gawd I'm going to hell...
�
so there's this billboard on the way to school. It's got a picture of this d00d wearing sunglasses and it says, "Climbed Mt. Everest. Blind."
Now I know this is gonna sound so bad but I really don't think he had the same experience that say... I would have. ya know? I think that maybe at some point someone maybe helped him along so he wouldn't... you know... die or something.
I could be wrong, I know. And I'm certainly unpc right now. But I just find that billboard a little... deceiving.
*shrug*
what do you think?
::: posted by Tina Wina at 5:46 PM ::: Something Said, by r00
ok so there's that. Now here's what I'm talking about:
Climber Dies While Climbing Mt. Everest
So I'm not being especially cold when I say that.
Oh check out his site, btw. His name's Erik Weihenmayer, and he made it out alive.
::: posted by tinafish at 3:43 AM :::
Saturday, May 29, 2004 :::
but the base price is only $20,000
with all the junk I added it's over $33,000 now.
It'd be awful cute to have, though.
::: posted by tinafish at 4:37 PM :::
I'd buy one... even if I had to charge it...
it's not like I don't love my ibook...
but gawd it'd be nice to be able to play my old PC games again, and the other xbox exclusives (Halo, and Soul Calibur 2 to play w/ Spawn).
*sigh*
So anyway... we saw The Day After Tomorrow tonight. It was... extravagant.
The effects were awesome, and there's a nice bit in there about Americans rushing to Mexico that made me laugh so hard my gut hurt, and not just 'cause I'm sore.
David especially loved the part with all the tornadoes, but he liked the whole movie. lol.
The dogs are still mad at each other.
I worry that we are more trouble than we are worth.
::: posted by tinafish at 2:39 AM :::
Friday, May 28, 2004 :::
"I filled the position you interviewed for..."
*sigh*
I really need a job.
::: posted by tinafish at 4:12 PM :::
.oO(why doesn't david live downstairs?)
I mean, I'd certainly like to have a nicer shape, but I don't wanna be pencil thin. I never have been, though. I was always pretty active physically... So I was more "solid" than skinny.
I'd like to get back to that.
So anyway. I'm absurdly sore today. And I've gotta get my bum up and do that video thing again today.
I finally went to petsmart yesterday. Me, Sandra, and Squish made the trip to buy new harnesses for the dogs and food for squish. I also bought a couple of toys - a stuffed order of fries and a stuffed sundae.
When I brought the toys home squish had the sundae and lucky had the fries. I guess lucky wanted the sundae 'cause he started growling at squish... next thing Sandra and I knew lucky had squishy by the throat and squishy was screaming. I kinda kicked lucky to get him to let go of squishy... and then squishy was really mad so he was after lucky... he chased lucky into the bedroom and under the bed.
They were mad at each other the rest of the night.
My sis and Pabs came over and the 4 of us played video games for a couple of hours.
David stayed late at work. He didn't ge home 'till ~ 2100. Which is craziness!
I had put lasagna in the oven in time for it to be done @ ~ 1800, which is when he usually gets home. I had also put garlic bread in the oven after the lasagna was done... and since I didn't want it to get cold I thought I'd use that setting on his oven that says "WARM" since I figured that'd just keep it warm, ya know?
Well, by the time he got here the garlic bread was more like garlic croutons.
*sigh*
After dinner we watched Torque, since all the movies we had rented were due by midnight.
It was very dramatic. I'm glad we waited 'till it was on dvd to rent it. I'd have been mad if we had spent $14 for the two of us to watch it.
I watched the xfiles after david went to sleep. Then Farscape came on, so I watched a couple of episodes.
Apparently the whole "more energy" has already taken effect, since usually I go to sleep ~ 0130 but I was awake 'till 0500 last night. And I actually woke up @ 0930 this morning... but I took some benadryl and went back to sleep.
I dunno what I'm gonna do with all this time on my hands.
::: posted by tinafish at 3:02 PM :::
Thursday, May 27, 2004 :::
Soul Calibur 2, MKDA, and Tekken 4
We took turns winning in Soul Calibur 2, but F1 pretty much dominated MKDA.
(and yes, I romped on the guys when we played tekken)
David stopped playing when we started playing mkda. He's been working on his comp since then.
The guys left after I'd beat them both a few times at tekken.
F1's moving to dallas tomorrow. It's a good thing they're getting to bed early.
David's also gotta be at work at 0730 now. Something they do so they can leave early. I only vaguely remembering him mentioning it last summer.
*shrug*
::: posted by tinafish at 12:53 AM :::
Wednesday, May 26, 2004 :::
(If you were not a Defender-ship you would be Pacman.)
 I am a Defender-ship.I am fiercely protective of my friends and loved ones, and unforgiving of any who would hurt them. Speed and foresight are my strengths, at the cost of a little clumsiness. I'm most comfortable with a few friends, but sometimes particularly enjoy spending time in larger groups. What Video Game Character Are You? |
*sigh*
So I've been working on trying to recover my iphoto album. Like, the main album. That prog I had dloaded, JAlbum, kinda really screwed things up. It's my fault, though. I had one of the settings wrong ,', it jacked everything up.
So I'm thinking maybe if I uninstall iphoto and then reinstall it it'll automatically search for my photos itself?
::: posted by tinafish at 4:06 PM :::
Tuesday, May 25, 2004 :::
View my Moblog
::: posted by tinafish at 6:24 PM :::
Great fun. I've gotta drive my bum out to levelland to give them a copy of my little tax thing from the hospital and my dad's statement thing.
I still haven't heard anything from umc. I'm gonna start applying at places again. *sigh*
I had really wanted to work there.
My tshirt came in yesterday. It says, "playing video games makes me sexy" and I can't wait to wear it. I'm gonna wear it today. I'm trying to convince david we should go somewhere so I can show off my new shirt.
The jerk said we could go to aromas (that same coffee shop we go to everyday during school) to play warcraft. That jerk. lol. But hey, it'll be a nice change from the staying home watching tv.
Speaking of tv... I've been watching xfiles... and I'm kinda scared. This episode doesn't seem too bad, but the last one was awful. It was about some doll that was making people KILL THEMSELVES!!! So for obvious reasons, I was wigging out.
You know, it would be my luck. Right as soon as I said this one isn't too bad I go and let myself get scared. It's ok, though. It's not bad once I kinda separate my willingness (I don't think that's a word, but I mean like.. how willing I am) to believe.
There's some quote I've been after, that my one of my HS english teachers was always preaching about... something about how to read fiction (or something) you have to be willing to make that leap to believe.
Apparently I'm all about leaping.
*sigh*
So anyway... I'm gonna shower now.
::: posted by tinafish at 2:02 PM :::
Sunday, May 23, 2004 :::
Or like... say you're tasting something... and you think it's an acquired taste... you ever pass some of it along to validate your tongue's anguish?
Well this is one of those times. I recommend we all watch In Hell, so we can later reminisce about how bad it is.
You've probably seen it on the shelf at your local Blockbuster. Next chance you get give the movie a shot. It'll give you a chance to really appreciate other movies that don't totally suck.
Quote from SciFi's Tripping the Rift:
Chode says something about "makes you wonder how Jean Claude Van Damme ever had an acting career."
Yes. It's that bad.
::: posted by tinafish at 11:50 PM :::
my niece and nephew are here!!!
We played an "incredibly boring game," according to my niece, i.e. Risk. It was a pretty bad game. My nephew Pabs had us rent that movie You Got Served, which Sandra (my niece) and I sat through... and we both complained the whole time about how dumb the movie was. David made a few token appearances (he was in the "dining area" paying bills) to make dumb comments to which both Sandra and I would tell him to go back to paying bills.
Oh about the game. Yeah. Pabs was just attacking and attacking and attacking... and he was dead in 3 rounds. Then I had some really bad rolls and I couldn't take over Greenland (which was all I lacked of North America) and my bad luck continued when David took over New Guinea and I lost my continent. He also gave Sandra a romping... and since both kids looked rather uninterested I forfeited my territories and the game was over.
We had ice cream. It's kinda funny, 'cause my sis was like, "blah blah blah no ice cream blah." And the first thing we do here is have ice cream. And then when we rented those movies we stopped at Dairy Queen and had more ice cream.
.oO(Gloria's gonna kill me)
So anyway. The plan had been to take them to the movies, but they've seen everything that was showing at the time we could go. Except Van Helsing, but only 'cause Pabs is a wuss so they didn't want to see it.
I guess they'll be coming over again today, if they want to.
I like 'em, only... they kinda don't really say anything. Like when I ask them what kind of music they listen to, they were like.. "whatever you listen to" so it's kinda weird. They used to be so opinionated with me, but now they're acting like I used to act around my brother.
I used to worry that my brother wouldn't think I was "cool" if I told him what I really wanted to do, or what I really wanted to watch, or whatever. It kinda hurts to see them acting this way... like they don't really know me anymore. And I guess that's the truth. We don't really know each other anymore. But she was my first niece, and we used to do lots of things together. Now I can't even get her to tell me what radio station she wants to listen to.
*sigh*
So today's plans. Either we can have dinner w/ F1 and his "friend" or the kids can come over. Most likely the kids'll come over either way, since David's gonna be running around for most of the afternoon. He's gone to grab us something for lunch, then he's gotta go to the office to do something, and then he's gonna visit his mom.
Well. I'm gonna call the kids now. The dinner w/ F1 won't be 'till ~ 1900, so I've got some time to spare.
::: posted by tinafish at 2:30 PM :::
OMG!!! I want it soooooo bad! (and wil wheaton is hot)
I already added it to my wishlist!
::: posted by tinafish at 3:24 AM :::
.oO(I get the weirdest phone calls)
I haven't really heard from him since then, aside from the phone calls whenever he's in town.
He just called me tonight, to just catch up.
*rolling eyes*
Throughout the whole time I've known him he's always trying to hook up with me, which is ~really~ weird.
So anyway.
I'd missed something like 4 phone calls, so when my phone rang again I answered.
He's back in lubbock visiting and thought it'd be cool if we got together and had lunch or something. Only it's 2 o'clock in the morning! I can see how from his point of view this may seem considerate, since I have a history of being a night person. But even iff (yes iff as in "if and only if") I was interested in seeing him (which I'm not) I'd not go out at this unproper hour to meet some guy I barely know who has made distinct advances!
I know the circumstances that I met David were... a bit similar... but david had at least made the effort to invite me out that evening and it was my call that had us at ihop at midnight.
So yes. I would not meet Dog @ 0200 to "catch up" since there is a ~distinct~ difference btwn "catching up" and BOINKING!!!
*grr*
Why the hell does he still call me? I remember about a year ago he was trying to convince me David was cheating. I made it pretty clear then that I didn't want him to call me. Since then he's called a few times, but I've had the fortune of never being near my phone when he did.
Now I know this whole thing must sound like I'm really sick of him... Just... Well I am. He's a great guy and we could be friends if he wasn't so damn eager to get me in the sack.
Enough of a rant. I'm going to bed.
::: posted by tinafish at 2:24 AM :::
Saturday, May 22, 2004 :::
"I'm a sex changed woman with a fake beard, and a duck on my head, even!"
I had loads of fun.
I'm really sleepy, so I'm going to bed.
::: posted by tinafish at 1:17 AM :::
Friday, May 21, 2004 :::
yay! Ninja Turdles is up and running!
David told me it was up... but take a look for yourself. It's not.
I'm watching Andromeda. Trance was so much cuter back when she was purple (she's gold now)!
eek! Squishy peed (sp?) on the throw on the couch, and on my bag... and on the side of the bed... he's not that cute anymore.
It is time to move. Squishy needs to live outside, no matter how small and cute he is.
.oO(at least 'till he can hold his bladder)
::: posted by tinafish at 7:35 PM :::
Thursday, May 20, 2004 :::
OMG it was great! David and I ~both~ loved it - and we all know that doesn't happen too often.
(actually it may be a trend - we both like The Whole Nine Yards)
Yeah so the movie was loads of fun. I wanna see it again, even. I watched the first one this afternoon to prep myself to watch this one. I'm glad I did. I like them both a lot.
Also we had a Shrek 2 combo... or whatever... last time we were at the theatre. I just now put a sticker of Shrek on the fridge. We'll see how long it'll be before David notices.
On a totally different not I just saw a commercial for Krylon Fusion. Wow. Paint that'll stick to plastic. I'm already dreaming of all the stuff I'll be able to paint now! Like those really cheap plastic lawn chairs! How ~awesome~ would it be to spray paint them all different colors!
eek. I just looked at their website and all their colors are crap.
So back to the movie. I loved it loads. I don't wanna spoil it for anyone so I won't say anything else... but I really enjoyed it.
OK... So anyway... um... Oh yes. Since I spent more than $200 buying stuff to wear to that interview AND gas prices are still going up... so we won't be going to Fredricksburg this weekend after all. So instead we're probably gonna rent the matrix movies and make a night of it. Or LOTR (are they all out yet?) or Star Trek. But if we do ST it'll take aaaaages. There's 10 of them! It'll take 20 hours or so... probably 2 days of just watching. I don't think David'd really enjoy it much - he's not too into the whole scifi bit.
Well the xfiles are on so I'm gonna watch 'till I go to bed.
But I've had a pretty good night. Go figure.
::: posted by tinafish at 1:13 AM :::
Wednesday, May 19, 2004 :::
I need a job, first.
I just finished watching The Whole Nine Yards. I liked it a lot.
I think david had fun last night too - he's talking about maybe playing risk again tonight, or possibly a different board game.
The maintenance guy is here right now, fixing the air condition. It's been ~really~ hot in here lately.
ooh, my dad's on the phone.
::: posted by tinafish at 2:21 PM :::
I did not win, but I was one of the last 2 in the game.
~and~ I had a continent for pretty much the whole game (even if it was only australia). also I had half of north america, and most of south america for a good while.
then I lost south america. I held on to half of north america, though.
but david never got a continent, and neither did his "ally" Chris
Brian and I never really attacked each other, just kept the guys from not getting continents and such.
Well, actually... Brian took south america from me. and he had the other half of north america. Then he took europe, and was going after asia.
Chris had europe, and was trying to take north america. then brian took europe.
David's stronghold was asia, but he was stretched pretty thin. He kept trying to take australia from me, and I kept trying to take back japan. Once Brian had europe he began attacking asia, and the Davidian Empire fell.
I gave up, since Brian had like... 4 times the armies I had, and ruled pretty much all the continents.
I had a really good time
I really like Brian. I feel like he is my friend too, not just david's friend. He's the type of guy I'd be friends with on my own.
::: posted by tinafish at 12:18 AM :::
Tuesday, May 18, 2004 :::
he chewed up one of the shoes I bought this morning!
I have got to stop spending so much money on stuff he's gonna chew up!
Can you believe the little jerk?
psh!
I'm just stoked at least I bought the ones that were on sale.
dammit I'm just so upset!
'cause like... there goes my "interview outfit" because of squishy!
*grr*
::: posted by tinafish at 6:13 PM :::
I spent all morning shopping for something to wear. I'm so large now. *sigh* I bought a skirt, shirt, a pair of shoes, earrings, and a necklace. I curled my hair, put makeup on... I even wore panty hose.
I think it went really well.
She said she'd call me in a week or so, after she's done all her interviews.
Apparently they've had the position open for about a month, w/ no apps in. Then within a couple of days they got 6 or so in...
I really need a job.
::: posted by tinafish at 4:39 PM :::
kinda complicated, and I don't really understand.
david loved it. And I... I thought it was a long movie. lol
also, he didn't appreciate all my commentary.
I felt like we were back a year ago; back when we had just started dating.
lol.
yeah. I had a good time tonight.
He kissed me. Not at the theatre, but after the movie - at home.
Weird, huh.
*shrug*
random show of affection, and I loved it.
::: posted by tinafish at 12:33 AM :::
Monday, May 17, 2004 :::
I'm like... stoked but also absurdly nervous.
if I get this job I'll be doing the same sort of thing that I was at my last job.
I've gotta buy something to wear. A skirt, shirt, and shoes.
talk about splurging when I can least afford to.
lol.
Friends:
r00's back online!
I'm �ber proud of nicc!
BoB and I are not speaking again.
DF changed phone numbers.
oh and my friend Thomas from Houston, his gf Enis just graduated this past week! kudos to her!
'tis all for now...
::: posted by tinafish at 2:49 PM :::
And I'm tired.
David's been wanting me to sign a lease with him... it's not something I'm ready to do. Hell, I still don't think we "live" together. There is still nothing here that is mine - everything is saturated with him. When we fight and I want to walk away, but not out, I end up heading to the bathroom.
I've had the worst experience ever tonight. One of David's friends... he pointed out some stuff...
it's crap.
When david told me what he said... I just felt... I dunno. This d00d's never even talked to me. And no matter how much any of david's friends think they know about us, they still don't.
Not a single one of them new me before I was dating David. This whole rltnship with him has been one compromise after another. And I'm not upset about that... It was time I learned to give too, not just take, ya know? I'm sure they think I'm just not trying, but I really am.
They just don't know who I used to be.
The person I used to be. *sigh* Joe... hated who I was. One of the last conversations I had with him, he was talking about how much I had changed since high school, and how proud he was of me.
David doesn't know how much I've given. I feel a lot of times like he takes me for granted. And then there are times when I feel I've been taking him for granted.
After all that happened this weekend, I still feel like this is the best thing I've ever had. I've never worked so hard on anything, for anyone.
In the same breath, I still feel like I'm fighting a losing battle. I feel like I've got my nails into this, but it's still just slipping between my fingers.
The thought of losing him... makes my heart hurt.
With everyone else it was always just a game - just something to do during a commercial.
I don't want to walk away. But if it's what's best for him, I know I should.
I know his friends are just worried about him, and they all just want what's best for him.
The reason I don't study for tests, and why I don't ever apply myself at school... I am afraid.
I am afraid I will study my ass off and just not make the cut.
I'm afraid that no matter how hard I try my best just won't be good enough.
::: posted by tinafish at 3:02 AM :::
Sunday, May 16, 2004 :::
I don't want to talk about it... just I feel like it's a huge something in my life...
if this happens again I will not stay.
::: posted by tinafish at 8:09 PM :::
Friday, May 14, 2004 :::
*sniff sniff*
I don't think I cried this much the first time.
::: posted by tinafish at 8:45 PM :::
*sigh*
I am running ~extremely~ low on funds.
I won't be able to afford summer school after all. Maybe if I manage to find a job I can make it to summer session 2, but there's no way I'll be able to make it for the first session.
*sigh*
Aside from the whole no-money thing looming over my head, I'm doing good.
David and I are doing a lot better... you know how it goes with me. I take everything so personally, and he's still not thinking of him and me as "us" yet. We're going to go look at houses this weekend.
David's neighbor got kinda drunk last night... he can be a real ass. Can't wait to get out of here.
We're doing the whole gaming thing this weekend - Halo with the guys. They'll probably be hunting me, unless I can find someone with less experience w/ an Xbox than I do. I ~really~ need to get my hands on one, so I'll stop getting pwned!
anyway... F1 bought a ps2, so me, him, and the bf are gonna play ps2 games tonight. I'm making lasagna... and by making I mean putting a pre-made lasagna into the oven... so I've gotta remember to put it in the oven @ ~ 1970.
David's working an event so he's not here yet. Good thing too - I hate watching my scifi shows with him. He never gets it. lol
speaking of which... commercial's over... Andromeda - YAY!
::: posted by tinafish at 7:06 PM :::
buttons, buttons, and more buttons!
Also I'm gonna get rid of the blogs that are out of date... and the stuff I don't visit anymore.
With no work anymore, I don't spend as much time looking for something to do to keep me awake.
However, since I slept all last night and most of the day... I'll probably be up for a while tonight.
Guess I'll work on more buttons later.
And my links page.
::: posted by tinafish at 12:30 AM :::
Thursday, May 13, 2004 :::
I dunno how to stream it here... or whatever... so I'm just gonna link to it 'till I figure it out... then I'll probably edit this post.
Making Pie
::: posted by tinafish at 10:30 PM :::
Bradshaw won, but not before Mysterio 619'ed him!
as worn my Mysterio...
::: posted by tinafish at 9:16 PM :::
::: posted by tinafish at 5:57 PM :::
WOOOOOOOOODLEOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
When I opened the door for the UPS guy Squishy ran out. He stood there between my feet barking at the guy.
When the guy turned to leave Squish freaked out. He jumped back behind my legs, hitting his bum on the door. That freaked him out even more, so he kinda yelped and then ran over to the stairs and about half way down. I had to go pick him up and carry him inside. He was shaking.
Poor Squish is such a wuss. The guy got a good laugh out of it, though.
Anyway. Gonna put my bawls in the fridge.
::: posted by tinafish at 5:45 PM :::
is there really anthing between us?
He said we'd go to petsmart, to buy stuff for the dogs. And we'd stop by a grocery store and buy banana pudding. He went to his friends house after work for a couple of hours.
We went out to dinner with his friends. He made a complete ass of himself - cursing at the table, they were all so loud and rowdy. They called each other on the phone while sitting at the table, saying all sorts of things.
When dinner was over, I thought we'd finally get some time for ourselves. He and his friends stood outside the restaurant talking for at least half an hour.
We didn't talk on the way home.
I went to bed, and he didn't even say goodnight.
I'm a very high maintenance girlfriend. I like to be spoiled with attention - the object of his desire.
For the last 6 semesters I have taken a back seat to physics. The ever popular physics. I was going to end things btwn us if he did not pass physics. I can not keep getting micro-managed away.
He said things would be different once physics was over.
The only thing different is now it's not gonna be physics. It's gonna be some other bull shit reason to not spend time with me. So maybe it was never physics. Maybe all this time it's been me.
I will not keep dealing with this.
This is not the way I want to be treated.
The couple that just got married, they were having dinner with us.
I want to be in a relationship like that.
I want to be doted on, to be hugged in public. I want everyone in the room to know he loves me. I want our friends to be disgusted with how affectionate we are. Not all the time, but once in a lifetime would be nice.
I don't even know when the last time david told me he loves me was.
He said after his physics final he had to blow off some steam. So he walked around tech for an hour and a half. Then he wanted to relax so he went to a party.
He didn't share that experience with me. I guess he won't come to me if he needs to blow off some steam, or if he wants to relax.
So then what good am I to him? He does not confide in me, he does not talk to me... it's like he does not trust me.
Now I'm back to wondering... What the hell are we doing together?
::: posted by tinafish at 10:00 AM :::
Wednesday, May 12, 2004 :::
that pie I made last night... it's a disaster.
I figured, since I was trying to make a banana cream pie, that I'd use the banana cream pudding. Apparently it's banana pudding that I like so much.
*sigh*
I can't hardly eat this thing. It's gross.
I don't want david to know. He was so excited. He took pics last night while I was making it. I'm gonna upload them, assuming... they're not absolutely unpostable... I'll post one or two on here.
So anyway...
David passed physics!
::: posted by tinafish at 4:59 PM :::
I'm ~so~ happy for him!
only 2 classes left!
::: posted by tinafish at 3:48 PM :::
~and~
guess who got an A on her chem test!
*�ber stoked*
::: posted by tinafish at 2:07 PM :::
fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck me!
*grr*
looks like I'll be taking it again over the summer.
my gpa's totally screwed too.
::: posted by tinafish at 10:09 AM :::
*yawn*
2 finals today... then I'm done...
wish me luck on my chem final!
::: posted by tinafish at 5:42 AM :::
Tuesday, May 11, 2004 :::
I was drenched by the time I could make it back to the sidewalk.
lol.
anyway... I've got 2 more tests tomorrow and then I'm done!
if I can't find a job soon I don't think I'll be going to summerschool, since I won't be able to afford gas to get out to levelland.
*sigh*
we'll see.
::: posted by tinafish at 2:13 PM :::
we just got back from watching Mean Girls.
we were walking the dogs, and david's big feet are playing Godzilla to all the Japanese snails.
CRUNCH CRUNCH CRUNCH
So I pick up a snail, and it's crawling around in my hand... Since it's dark outside I bring it up to eye-level w/ David, to show him the little guy.
He viciously whacks my arm, launching the snail out of my hand into the air! wait about half a second and then we hear CRUNCH as the snail slams into the pavement. I had cupped my hand, but apparently david used too much force. He was a goner.
This whole time Lucky has been pawing at a specific place in this shrub. Not 30 seconds later we hear a PEEP. Lucky had a baby bird in his mouth. David starts yanking him around trying to get the him to drop the little bird, and when he finally does I reach down to pick him up. David wigs out. He thought bringing the birdee inside would be a really bad idea.
So the bird died in the cold, wet street.
with that off my chest, I'm going to bed.
::: posted by tinafish at 1:08 AM :::
Monday, May 10, 2004 :::
David's at his friend's house.
and I sit in the rain.
::: posted by tinafish at 9:32 PM :::
slightly concerned... much more than I'm willing to admit...
I'm really getting concerned.... it was over half an hour ago.
I'm guessing he's probably waited for his prof to grade it... and then he'll know.
He'll know if he's passed physics.
I'm praying.
I do hope he'll call me and let me know what happens.
I hope he'll share this experience with me.
If he passes we can celebrate together, and if he doesn't... well... we can still experience that together.
::: posted by tinafish at 8:02 PM :::
*sigh*
also I added a jinx button... gonna add a thinkgeek, onion, wired, and apple button.
for now, I'm done.
::: posted by tinafish at 4:27 PM :::
good news: I think I raped my hist final!
::: posted by tinafish at 2:18 PM :::
Christ it's been years since he and I dated... he was the guy I dated back ~before~ BoB.
We were in junior high! We didn't even go to the same high school... but I do remember he'd write me little notes and leave them in this nook in this tree in my front yard back home.
lol.
Now he's Mr. Marine...
*rolling eyes*
That alone should be enough.
Anyway... I better get going to school.
*crossing fingers*
hope I do well on this final.
::: posted by tinafish at 11:03 AM :::
David and I went to Daybreak around 1100... I pretty much just chilled there reading Angst (hence the earlier post). Had me a pretty good slice of caramel apple pid. mmm...
We had lunch at David's Mom's house... she asked me to invite my dad and my sis, but neither could make it. Man she can cook, and Bob, her husband, can ~really~ barbeque. I ate ~so~ much!
After lunch we played old school video games - Super Mario Bros. David finished the game, but I was a gonner in 5-1. In my defense, I didn't grow up playing NES.
Then we left... I took a snooze from ~ 1600 'till 2100. I was supposed to go study w/ some guys from class at this coffe house here in town called Coffee Haus (cute name, huh) but I just didn't feel like going.
I didn't think david'd be too stoked w/ me going to a coffee shop this late at night with a whole bunch of guys. He's all, "no worries hon I trust you" but I still don't think that'd be right.
Oh gawd - one thing about david... instead of "hun" he always types "hon" which annoys the hell outta me.
lol.
So I'm not really being able to work with all these new features on blogger... so it looks like I'll be keeping my current comment system.
I got a cd off my wishlist... it's the alabama cd... so now I'm jamming to cheapseats!
Anyway... I better either get to sleep or start studying!
::: posted by tinafish at 1:26 AM :::
::: posted by tinafish at 12:55 AM :::
Sunday, May 09, 2004 :::
.oO(ooh... blogger's been updated...)
::: posted by tinafish at 9:36 PM :::
Saturday, May 08, 2004 :::
I'm gonna talk a bit about it.
I've changed my mind - I've just told david about it, and now he's concerned about me. He's wondering if I have anything that's tearing me up inside.
And I do. I always do.
I try to give people the impression that he and I have this wonderful relationship that's gonna last forever. We have a pretty good relationship, but I'm not sure if it's gonna last forever. I mean, even if we manage to make it through this time in both our lives, I'm fairly certain he'll never want to do the whole peace corps thing. And that's something I really wanna do - that I wanted us to do together.
We were talking about this again last night at the movie theatre, while waiting for Van Helsing to start. He said something that kinda hurt my feelings; that I wasn't gonna get a diamond from him.
Is it just me, or does that sound like he's saying he'll never actually propose?
Anyway... I took that to be kind of a slap in the face. I mean... what the hell are we doing then, if we're not ever gonna get married? And what's so wrong with me that he doesn't want to marry me?
I'm not saying I want to get married now. I won't marry anyone until I've got a degree, that way if things go to hell I won't think twice about leaving.
I guess that's just not what I wanted to hear. Makes me wonder if he's been hinting at it lately - if I'm just been too involved to notice. It's been a long time since my birthday.
::: posted by tinafish at 12:37 PM :::
Friday, May 07, 2004 :::
let me know what your score is - here's mine:
34.714% Total Geek
::: posted by tinafish at 9:40 PM :::
ever since I got rid of the net connection at home, I've been hitting all sorts of spots looking for a net connection.
camping is dumb!
I had lunch w/ David today, and F1 went too. We went to this chinese place, so I ~finally~ got the chinese food I'd been wanting! It was delicious!!!
We're gonna see Van Helsing tonight. F1's coming too. The rest of regular gang isn't gonna make it, for whatever reason. Out of town or something.
AJ asked me to help his roommate move out tomorrow, only I don't have a hitch... so I dunno. We'll see, I guess.
Lucky has not been letting me put his harness on him to take him walking. He'll let me put it over his head, but when I try to put his leg through, or when I try to buckle it together, he'll start growling and try to bite me. I dunno why, though. He did it yesterday and again today. So I end up just leaving him in the apt and walking only Squishy.
Squishy's still doing good - still learning to pee standing up. So far he hasn't felt the urge to pee on anything standing up aside from this one tree, and ~everything~ in the apt. It's getting ~really~ annoying.
*sigh*
So anyway... we're gonna have a gaming night the weekend after finals. So I guess we won't be taking that road trip I'd been wanting. Or we'll take it maybe the weekend after that? I still wanna go to the Grand Canyon.
I was talking to my old friend Clifford earlier today. He's doing good.... in the process of being set up with this other guy I know.... who... I dunno, the other guy just doesn't seem like Cliff's type. But whatever works, ya know? As long as they're happy.
I'm watching that one episode of Stargate where they're in that time loop - I just love when O'Neil is riding the bicycle through StarGate Command.
Well I'm gonna play w/ the squish for a while before it's time to go study.
::: posted by tinafish at 6:31 PM :::
View my Moblog
::: posted by tinafish at 1:59 PM :::
Thursday, May 06, 2004 :::
My mother said to me, "If you are a soldier, you will become a general. If you are a monk, you will become the Pope." Instead, I was a painter, and became Picasso.
-Pablo Picasso
::: posted by tinafish at 9:20 AM :::
Wednesday, May 05, 2004 :::
I just bought a case of bawls and a tshirt from little gamers!
fsck! I need a job!
::: posted by tinafish at 10:43 PM :::
Visit my Store! (link to the right)
I now have a dog tshirt for sale!
Any ideas for other pics I could put on there?
The one of baby squishy is cute... just.... not very colorful.
::: posted by tinafish at 10:07 PM :::
View my Moblog
::: posted by tinafish at 8:35 PM :::
Ok not really... tastes kinda like a watered-down Sprite.
We just stopped by LANforce, which is the ONLY place in Lubbock to buy Bawls.
David was kinda interested in gaming there sometime, but I'm against it. 30 PCs, which is cool, but only 2 xboxes. We gather more than that for one of our gaming nights.
I really wanna buy an xbox, but most likely I'll be waiting for an xbox 2. Jinx has a Bawls sticker that'll go on an xbox.
I like it. It only has 80 mgs of caffeine per 12 oz, and coffee has ~ 65 mgs per 8 oz... the difference isn't vast ya'll. However, if you choose to do the whole "fizzly blue bawls" the caffeine'll go up, depending on how many Penguin Mints you add.
Anyway. We're here at Aromas now, so I better start studying... or something.
lol
btw - I especially like the look of bawls. Nice blue w/ bumps.
I want this shirt!
::: posted by tinafish at 7:21 PM :::
Tuesday, May 04, 2004 :::
We were turning under an overpass, when the semi (who was in the inside lane) made a ~really~ wide turn and almost hit us.
We ended up on the side of the road up on the curb and all.
What were the chances of this happening? I mean, he was just in an accident!
And right before this happened he said he was kinda nervous about turning, that he felt the semi might hit him.
I was like, "no worries hun."
and then it almost happened!
We had just gotten back from having dinner w/ loads of his friends - it's was someone's bday.
We went to Texas Roadhouse and I had a delicious rack of ribs.
I had loads of fun... didn't think the night would end like this.
::: posted by tinafish at 11:34 PM :::
It's the only sprint phone w/ bluetooth!
On a totally different note - I've been talking to David about joining the Peace Corps...
he's not being very receptive.
*sigh*
::: posted by tinafish at 5:24 PM :::
Monday, May 03, 2004 :::
I'm about half way done with one of my philo papers... for about an hour's worth of work.
I'm gonna try and get them all done today.
I just dunno if I should start now, or wait for david to start studying. Lord knows he's gonna be studying.
Oh! I almost forgot!
David's got this thing - something like... Dazzle or something.
Anyway, we can now record things off tv. It's awesome, only the picture's crap.
Speaking of which, we saw this movie last night called About a Boy and it was great! It's gotta be one of the best movies I've seen lately!
So anyway... Xfiles is on... gonna watch while I make some dinner.
::: posted by tinafish at 3:35 PM :::
Sunday, May 02, 2004 :::
She said that to me tonight.
She said I make her baby happy, so I'm her baby now too. And that she loves me.
Isn't that the most amazing thing?
So anyway, I've decided for this bit I'm gonna use a pic of the two of us from the event over on the ~everpopular~ extra column.
For real this time, I'm going to bed.
::: posted by tinafish at 2:03 AM :::
(bold won)
We took about 200 pics of the World Heavyweight Championship fight alone, with close to 450 or so total. I'm uploading to my comp now, so I'll probably publish some tomorrow.
World Heavyweight Championship
Chris Benoit vs. Triple H
Triple H tapped out - AGAIN!!
Chris Jericho vs. Christian w/ Trish Stratus & Tyson Tomko
Matt Hardy vs. Kane
Came out right after the chicks fighting. Kane was choking Lita when Matt Hardy came out.
I ~so~ wanted Matt Hardy to win. Kane whooped on him, though.
Intercontinental Championship
Shelton Benjamin vs. Randy Orton
Orton cheated - claimed injury then whacked Shelton a good one.
Victoria & Lita vs. Molly Holly & Gail Kim
Lita sure looks like trailer trash. Gail Kim is really pretty.
Molly Holly was wearing a wig - and Victoria pulled it off!
Tajiri vs. Garrison Cade vs. Rhyno
I ~love~ tajiri!!! He used his green mist and all!!!
Hurricane & Rosey & Eugene vs. La Resistance & Johnny Nitro
Johnny Nitro has nice abs. He was peeved 'cause Eugene had used a tshirt thrower gun to shoot a shirt into his groin.
Plus special appearances by Edge, Johnny Nitro, Eugene Dinsmore & William Regal!
Special referee: Val Venis
Then we went and saw Fozzy. It was amazing. Jericho sure played it up for the crowd. I had a good time.
Jericho was drinking a beer on stage, and some kid up front started chanting for him to chug it. Jericho had the kid go on stage and chug a beer, only the kid was really a kid. Had the whole "X" on his hands and stuff, ya know? I don't think anyone noticed, but I kinda look for these kinds of things. Anyway, the kid gets up there and only manages to take a couple of gulps. He ends up throwing the rest of the beer all over himself and the stage, then rejoins the crowd.
Some chick had a sign that said, "TAKE IT OFF" and Jericho kinda laughs and tells her to take it off. Then he's like, "I'm just kidding." I guess he thought she'd take him seriously.
There towards the end though some of the guys in the crowd formed a mosh pit right next to us. Ugh. We had to get outta there quick.
So tired. Going to bed now.
::: posted by tinafish at 1:22 AM :::
Saturday, May 01, 2004 :::
I remember this one time in high school I had to give up speaking for a day. It was for something my youth council at church was doing.
Anyway. I was a freshman in high school and I had talked to all my teachers beforehand about how I was not going to be speaking the next day.
Many of them laughed and didn't think I was going to make it (I was kind of a chatterbox) but they were all pretty supportive and allowed me to do it.
On the hour and a half bus ride to school I didn't say anything. I made it through first period and half of second period before the girl in front of me handed me something and I said 'thanks' to her.
Aside from that the rest of the day I didn't say anything.
And it was hard.
I can't hardly imagine how it would be to lose something as valuable as my sight, or my hearing.
I used to be a very active person - volunteering at a local MHMR, a local hospital, and of course at my church.
Somewhere over the course of "growing up" I seem to have lost that - the giving part of me.
How have I gotten so far away from who I used to be, to who I am now?
I'm selfish and ungrateful.
And I have so many things to be thankful for.
::: posted by tinafish at 12:59 PM :::