Saturday, July 31, 2004 :::

baby names!

Daniel: God is my judge
Christopher: bearer of Christ
Mansour: one who triumphs
Samuel: God hears
Jonathan: gift of God
Caleb: faithful
Jason: healer
David: beloved

Anise: noble strength
Ona: full of grace
Aurora: goddess of the dawn
Ayanna: beautiful flower
Mariah: God is my teacher
Hoa: flower
Alma: soul
Jadzia: princess

(and NO! I'm not pregnant)

::: posted by tinafish at 8:59 PM :::

ahh the glory that is a friday night...

We watched the Great American Bash last night. Had a bit of a surprise ending (for me, anyway).
Spoiler (just this next sentence): I had ~no~ idea The Undertaker would do that!!!!

After that we started watching Stargate Season 1 Vol.4. I ended up watching all the episodes on that disc - it was ~ 0500 when I was done with the disc.
For whatever reason I was really in the mood to watch st 4... particularly that season where Scotty's trying to get the 20th century computer to work, and he's like, "Computer. Computer." then bones hands him the mouse and Scotty thinks it's a microphone or something so he holds it to his mouth and says, "Hello Computer."
aaaaaaah that's probably my favorite part of the movie.
I didn't get to bed 'till ~ 0700 or so... and I slept surprisingly well.
Once I get past that shallow dreaming and into REM sleep I seem to do alright.

So we're going to a Christening party this afternoon - well here in about an hour. So I better get showered up and all.

::: posted by tinafish at 12:17 PM :::

Friday, July 30, 2004 :::

the nightmares are back.

the nightmares I started having when I was in high school are back.
The scratches on my arms just stare at me.
How did this happen?
Why now?

When I thought everything was going so much better why did this happen?

::: posted by tinafish at 12:21 PM :::

Thursday, July 29, 2004 :::

gonna watch some stargaaaaaaaate

ahh, another wonderful work day is over. I had a lot of fun, as usual.
It's really great to get out of the house (and I'm actually getting paid too!!!) and go do stuff.
Tomorrow WF2 is making some casserole, and WF1 is taking beans, and I'm taking some Shells & Cheese (my specialty!) to have a sort of pot-luck lunch (dinner) meal at work. I'm looking forward to it, I only hope WF1 doesn't get too plastered tonight that he forgets to bring the beans tomorrow.
A big group of the class is going to this gay club here in town tonight.
I'm more of a can't-go-out-gotta-go-watch-some-stargate girl myself.

With that said... I'm gonna check my mail, my comics, my blogs, and my newsreader.

Then I'm taking my laptop with me to bed, so I can watch stargate before I fall asleep.

.oO(wow I'm such a bore)

::: posted by tinafish at 11:35 PM :::

gawd I'm such a turd

I got up fairly early, @ ~ 1100. And that's about 2 hours earlier than I usually get up.

I needed to open my windows since the seat got all wet last night.

I couldn't find my keys. I was looking and looking and looking... then I finally decided I must've left them in my truck.

Thing is... without my keys, I can't unlock the front door. The deadbolt is one of those firehazard ones that needs a key no matter which side of the door you're on.
So I end up going out into the backyard and jumping over the chainlink fence into the neighbor's yard.
I've already got my little open-door key with me, so I start looking through my windows into my truck.
I don't see the keys anywhere on the driver's side so I walk around to the passenger side... and I see the towels I'd used last night to soak up some of the water.
I walk over, thinking about the whole dancing in the rain...
I'm all standing there just in la la land with a goofy grin on my face...


David's a dufus too, 'cause apparently he didn't see them there when he left this morning.
I mean, the towels were sitting on the little swinging bench thingy out front right in front of where he parks his car.

gawd we're some pair, aren't we?

::: posted by tinafish at 11:48 AM :::

dancing in the rain

UGH! I had an ~awful~ day! Good thing it's ending on a good note.

I was backing out of the driveway and my truck stalled out. It was smack dab in the middle of the street when this happened so I was totally blocking traffic. I couldn't get it started again so I got out and started pushing it back into the driveway.
People were honking and stuff, but no one got out to help me. Plus there were these 3 d00ds 2 houses down just sitting on their front porch watching me, plus this older man and a d00d sitting on their front porch directly across the street.
I pushed my truck over trying to get it back in the driveway but I couldn't get it all the way back in. It would go about a quarter of the way up but then it'd roll back down.
There was finally enough room on the other side of the street for one car to get by at a time.
Folks were still honking and I was getting ~pissed~.
I called my friend AJ to come give me a ride to work (and get my truck back in the driveway).
While I was waiting for him I emptied pretty much everything out of my truck. Since my truck was dead I couldn't get my windows to roll up.
Whenever he finally got here we tried pushing it into the driveway. We got it about 3/4 of the way up before it rolled back out again...
We kept trying but he was wearing chanclas (flip flops) so it wasn't like he had much room to be pushing.
Then some mexican d00d was driving by in a work van and he pulled over to give us some help.
Awesome of him.
We finally got it into the driveway and AJ took me to work.

I was only half an hour late.

Whenever I got off work David was there to bring me home. My dad was here working on my truck... apparently all that was wrong was that it needed the little plug things (on the battery) to be cleaned.
Whenever this had happened that time w/ my friend Lus, we went to his house and had poured a baking soda/water mix over the plugs and such... When it leaked down onto his driveway it was a gross greenish-brown mix that most likely killed the grass it touched.
Well we pretty much did that again, except we soaked the connector things in the goo this time. But once we were done it was that same greenish-brown goo.

We got it all worked out...
And then it started raining.
I just got my windows rolled up... but I forgot I had left my door open. So my entire front driver side seat is ~soaked~.
So then my dad was leaving... and that's when I noticed my door was open...
We (david & I) were running back and forth with towels to soak it up.
There's gonna be some ~funk~ in there.

And then david and I danced in the rain.

::: posted by tinafish at 1:10 AM :::

Wednesday, July 28, 2004 :::

it's always the little things

last night david made us our midnight snack - turkey & swiss cheese sandwhiches.
We had those sandwhiches, along with a bag of chips each, and oranje juice, as a "picnic" on the bed.
When we had finished he took the napkins and such and threw them away.
Then we brushed our teeth and went to bed.

It was the sweetest thing.

::: posted by tinafish at 1:26 PM :::

"it's not a briefcase - it's a naqahdah generator!"

Well I'm siting here waiting for David to get home...

::: posted by tinafish at 12:22 AM :::

Tuesday, July 27, 2004 :::

My Little Texas Tornado

There was this guy I trained with for a while... this d00d from Honduras... one of my girlfriends had told him how I'm a nut for having songs sung to me...
I guess at some point I had told him how I'm a country music fan... and this one day he just sang that whole song to me.
With his heavy accent and all.
I heard this song on my way to work... just flashed back to that afternoon...
And he was a real looker, I'll admit.
A real nice guy, didn't curse in front of me or any of that gunk... and he took the time to learn the words to that song.

He said he felt it was written about me and how I made him feel.
Imagine that.

Texas Tornado

You called me up from Amarillo... said you were coming to town
Thought I'd like to tell you hello... and drive and old friend around
I pulled up to the airport confident and cool...
When you stepped off that plane I knew I was your fool...
My little Texas tornado blowing me away again
I swore it wouldn't happen again, but I looked at you and then...
I'm like a tumbleweed in a wild west Texas wind;
You're blowing me away again.

You're lying with me in Atlanta - it's such a beautiful lie
You play me like a piano... I always let you get by
I know I'll go through hell girl, when you find someone else
But right now I'm in heaven... and I can't help myself
My little Texas tornado blowing me away again
I swore it wouldn't happen again, but I looked at you and then...
I'm like a tumbleweed in a wild west Texas wind;
You're blowing me away again.
I'm like a tumbleweed in a wild west Texas wind;
You're blowing me away...
Texas tornado blowing me away again
I swore it wouldn't happen again but I looked at you and then...

::: posted by tinafish at 12:03 AM :::

Monday, July 26, 2004 :::

the bourne supremacy

yep we watched it. It was pretty good.
Now we're watching pulp fiction on some channel... you know... Uma Thurman is a really pretty girl, but she's got some ~ugly~ toes.

Well I'm gonna do that C&V from nicc's site:

1) What moment from what movie still makes you laugh out loud - no matter how many times you see it?
That one scene in Finding Nemo where Squirt (the baby turtle) is giving Dori and Marlin direction on how to jump outta the EAC... when Marlin's like "You're really cute, but I can't understand a word you're saying!"
2) What moment from what movie still makes you cry like a baby - no matter how many times you see it?
In Tarzan... that one part where the Silverback dies.
3) What moment from what movie made you actually turn your head from the screen - either in fear, revulsion, or contempt for the fact that you actually paid money to see the film?
The Anchorman. Absolute S-H-I-T.
BONUS) What is one single moment from a film that is indelibly etched in your brain? Not a scene or a sequence exactly, but three or four seconds from a movie that contain an image or phrase or concept that transcends normal movies?
There's this one scene in Soldier where some chick asks Kurt Russel's character something like "16 soldiers against 1? What are you going to do?" to which he responds, "I'm going to kill them all... sir."

Five Movies I Not Only Own, But Watch Regularly, Which I Shouldn't Admit To But I'm Braver Than You So I Will
Here are mine:
um... well... I don't own many movies... so um...
Soldier (my favorite movie), um... Stargate.... um... the star trek movies...

::: posted by tinafish at 2:50 AM :::

Sunday, July 25, 2004 :::

it's midnight cinderella!

I'm so bored. and hungry.
hungry and bored.
and sleepy.
so it's hungry, bored, and sleepy.

I need to send back my SG1 season 1 vol 3 disc. I think david scheduled in some wrestling show... so I won't have new SG! 'till the disc after next.
David was the �ber cool person that he is and remembered to videotape SG1 and Atlantis for me last night. So whenever I got home from work... well... I don't remember what I did.
Oh wait.
I finished watching How to Lose a Guy in 10 days (started watching it at work after our test - watched most of it, actually) and then finished watching stargate 1.3 and then... I think then I went to bed.

Today after david left to Saturn I watched the stargate episodes he'd taped.
Also I put that chicken casserole thingy in the oven... when it was finally ready I was ~very~ disappointed. It tasted like enchiladas.
Spicy enchiladas.

So anyway... now I'm up just chatting w/ nicc and wackydog... some d00d IMed me on yahoo - his sn was daddy_big_cock or something. He messaged me saying "hey baby wanna moan for daddy" and I literally burst out laughing!
There are such pervs on the net.
*shaking head*

::: posted by tinafish at 1:38 AM :::

Friday, July 23, 2004 :::


last night WF2 had a low tire. I offered to change it for her, but since it wasn't flat she decided to just put air in it. Only she'd never put air in a tire before. So I taught her how to check her pressure, then helped her find what her tire psi should be, then explained to her how to put air in her tire, and to check her pressure to make sure it was up high enough.
And then I gave her my phone, so in case anything happened on her way home (she drives about an hour to get to work every day) she could call her husband. I hope everything turned out ok. We'll see.

I had called david from work last night, asking him to do a load of laundry while he watched wrestling.
When I got home the laundry was still where I'd left it last night. So I let the dogs out and put a load in to wash.
Thought it'd be a good time to blog so I come back into the living room and find that david took my power cord and he's been gone a while so my computer's in sleep mode.
So oh well.
Then I see that a new disc arrived from netflix, so I decide to watch some stargate. So I dug around through boxes 'till I finally found the dvd player... then I brought it over here and noticed none of the tv's have those little plugs, so I had to go back and dig around for that adaptor thing... Then I had to find a wall socket to plug the dvd player into...
*rolling eyes*
by the time I had it set up david got home and gave me my power cord.
So I picked up the dvd player to get the disc out... and it slid back in when the player opened.
So then we had to take the dvd player apart...

We've got a test today, so I'm taking my comp to work, along w/ How to Lose a Guy in 10 days. only WF5 has seen it, and she said it's pretty good... so since no one wanted to watch a star trek movie... looks like we'll be watching that.

I'm trying to convince david to tape the 2 stargate episodes that are on tonight.
I watched an episode last night, Cold Lazarus, that made me cry. I was sitting there trying to eat a pizza but kept practically choking.
But it's an awesome episode.

So anyway... I better get started making my lunch.

::: posted by tinafish at 11:17 AM :::

Thursday, July 22, 2004 :::


Physicist Rethinks Theory on Black Holes and About Those Fearsome Black Holes? Never Mind and Hawking Changes Black Hole Theory and Hawking Fills World In on Theory of Black Hole Blowouts and World: Physicist Hawking Concedes Error In Famous Black Hole Theory.

like... omg.

::: posted by tinafish at 2:06 PM :::

Wednesday, July 21, 2004 :::

home at last!

I'm ~finally~ home!

You know... I am honestly enjoying having this job. Not only do I get out of the house but also I am making friends! Oh! and also I'll have an income again!
seriously though... it's really been great so far. There's WF1 (work friend), who is so opinionated about everyone. He's just hilarious. And WF2, who drives in from about 70 miles away... I think. She's really cool too. And there's WF3, who's got really pretty hair. And WF4, who just got out of the military... and who else? There's WF5, but she was absent today. She lives on this side of town... so we'll see how that turns out.

Lucky bit me this afternoon when I tried to herd him back inside (he was apparently enjoying laying out on the slab of cement in the backyard). Then Squish literally jumped on him in my defense... and then lucky ran off so I grabbed the squish before lucky romped him. Squish may be younger and faster and more muscular, but lucky's been in several fights so I think his experience would leave squish bloody.
So anyway... lucky bit me through my jeans and sock - tore my sock and bruised a section of my ankle, and actually broke the skin for about an inch.
It hurts when I walk.

Well... I've got nothing else to say... for now, anyway...
Guess I'll start the laundry.

::: posted by tinafish at 11:27 PM :::

bored at work!!! (literally)

OMG! Like... OMG!!!
We've been on break since ~ 2015.
*looks at watch*
that's over 2 hours.
I get off in about half an hour... get to go home and enjoy doing laundry while david does the dishes.

The reason for the break? We took a test today... so we've been on break since then. We took the test then had to wait in the break room 'till the rest of the class was done... then we had to wait for her to grade all our tests... and now we're waiting for her to finish meeting with each of us seperately to go over our grade... she's about half way through right now(I think).

*so bored*

oh btw... I ~hate~ windows.

::: posted by tinafish at 10:17 PM :::

no time for blogging?

with waking up at noonish and actually having a place to go... there's not much time for blogging anymore.
I'm sure that'd change if I actually started to get up when my alarm goes off... but well...
I don't.

We went grocery shopping last night. We're both gonna start taking our lunch to work.
I bought a 2 liter mt dew since I went through 4 20 oz bottles last night - I'd rather spend a buck on soda instead of $4.
So anyway...
I'm starved and I've still gotta pack my lunch. Plus I've gotta shower and all that jazz.

Oh. Work isn't too bad. I've made some friends so we're not all just sitting there bored the whole time.
Well actually we are, but that's the teacher's fault.
And I accidently grabbed this guy's bum yesterday. I was so embarrassed. And we were at the front of the class when it happened.

::: posted by tinafish at 12:52 PM :::

Tuesday, July 20, 2004 :::

the ~real~ food of the gods

I love ice cream.
I bought this flavor called The Great Divide last night... it's half homeade vanilla and half dutch chocolate.
Now. I didn't buy neopolitan 'cause like... who needs that lame strawberry anyway, right?
I do.
I wish I had gotten the neopolitan.
But do they use homeade vanilla in neopolitan? 'Cause you know how you have those days when you're like: vanilla. how quaint.
But vanilla is good! better than the chocolate, even!
And I wish I had some strawberry to go along with these 2 flavors.

.oO(I make the weirdest posts)

::: posted by tinafish at 1:36 PM :::


"work" was awful. incredibly boring.
david's playing poker online.
I scratched him earlier - when we were at ihop.
I just watched the first disc from netflix. I'm gonna mail it tomorrow.


::: posted by tinafish at 2:05 AM :::

Monday, July 19, 2004 :::


my stargate episodes are here!
I knew I should've checked the mail the moment I heard the mailman drop stuff into the mailbox!!!
*�ber exicted*
now I can't hardly wait for work to be over so I can come home and watch these things!!!

::: posted by tinafish at 12:15 PM :::

gotta go to work today!!!!!

yay! I get to go to work today. This afternoon, anyway.
I got to sleep in, and woke up before my alarm went off.
I've been reading net news wire and my comics and blogs.
gonna get some food in a few, then gonna shower and head out!
(actually I'll probably be back on here before I leave)
I'm really excited, though. It's most likely gonna suck, but at least I have a real reason to leave the house today!

::: posted by tinafish at 12:05 PM :::

*ding ding ding* "the more you know"

I just cut david's hair. While it's true that I've cut hair before... well... I didn't wanna screw up his hair any more than it already was. Ouch. That sounds harsh. Just he already looks like an escaped convict - I don't want him looking like a serial killer or anything.
I did a decent job, except this one spot where I shave a bit too much. It'll be fine, though. He's always wearing a cap anyway.

We bowled tonight. I did ~awful~. I was last in both games I played, and in the latter game I think I pulled a muscle in my groin. David made some joke about girls having muscles in their groins... and was like "*ding ding ding* the more you know...." (like those commercials).

Before bowling we stopped by Barnes and Noble to buy another copy of The Once and Future King. I also picked up Selected Writings, by St. Thomas Aquinas. Ever since I decided to go to the Univ of St. Thomas I've had a particular interest in the guy... and after one of his essays that I read in philo, well.... I'm pretty interested.
My faith is something I've struggled with. I really can't stand when someone blinding believes in something... which is funny... according to faith is "The theological virtue defined as secure belief in God and a trusting acceptance of God's will." I don't think you should ever just trust in something/someone just because you're told to. You need to take the information that's given to you and make your own decisions. A lot of how I interpret the Bible can seem blasphemous... but honestly it's the best I can do. I don't feel the Bible is a literal book... but should be taken for the moral of the story. It's been difficult... my rltnship with God and my church. For not my priest back home, Father Greg, and the wonderful priest at my parish here, Father Andres... I've really had some issues but they've been there to help me understand.
So anyway... My faith is something I could talk about for aaages. It's very complicated... and very important to me.
Especially now.

Like it says on the back of the book, "Preoccupied with the rltnship btwn faith and reason, he [Aquinas] was influenced by both Aristotle's rational world view, and by the powerful belief that wisdom and truth can ultimately only be reached through divine revelation."
I feel like most of us feel torn... like when I was younger - If I was at church and someone asked be about how we came to be my answer was "adam and eve, etc." but when at school my answer was "evolution, etc." I feel like over the years I've come to reach a happy medium... and while my stance may not work for anyone else... well... it certainly works for me.

With that said, I am covered in hair and I'm sleepy. A quick shower then beddy-bye for me.

::: posted by tinafish at 1:00 AM :::

Sunday, July 18, 2004 :::

new ipods!

check them out.
and no 15 gb anymore...
and they're cheaper... kind of.

*stomach growling*

::: posted by tinafish at 2:24 PM :::

feeling insignificant... again...

I made this post once, talking about how I felt when I was putting a new sink fixture into my sister�s bathroom.
Now... well... I feel really different.
With all this that�s been going on with david and �fixing up� the house... well now I�m sincerely glad my father even allowed me to put in the fixture myself. Looking back on it, and taking into consideration how david and his entire family treat me, my father could have just sent me away and done it himself.
I was talking to my sister about this... she thinks I�m insane. I really do feel hurt that he�s having all these people come in and do these home improvement things that I feel he and I should be doing. And if he doesn�t want to do it, well honestly... I do. I enjoy working on things. I like the feeling I get when I�ve spent the last few hours working on something and I when I�m done I can just step back and be proud of what I�ve done.
Like that sink. Or the guest bedroom back home. Or anything else I�ve ever done.
It really does hurt my feelings that david bringing other people in here to do these things that could make him a well-rounded person if he just took the time to read the directions.
I guess my whole idea is flawed... �cause yeah... putting in ceiling fans ourselves could lead to electrocution or the house burning down... or something else. But it could also lead to him being proud of something we�ve done.
I�m not sure why I feel this way. Like I was saying, my sister thinks I�m crazy. She�d rather have someone else do any sort of manual labor as opposed to having to do it herself. She might break a nail. *rolling eyes*
Just at some point or another I�ve done the things he keeps calling his family in for. And I�ve done them better than his family is doing it.
They aren�t even using in sautering iron to install the fans.
And they didn�t use caulk to seal the sink.
But heaven knows I can�t do it.

::: posted by tinafish at 12:32 PM :::

*wide awake*

Well... we got up fairly early... but then we both took a nap... Now we're both awake.
We must've rolled over ~ 0230...
I had been trying to wake david up all afternoon (I was starving) but I guess I gave up and fell asleep too. I woke up madd hungry.
So now we've eaten. We've watched some of his glorious cable. Now he's in the shower and I'm here listening to the rain.
I think the house may leak. It sounds like the roof is leaking through... but there's no water coming through the ceiling. So it's like "drip drip driiiiiip drip drip..." but no puddle anywhere.
Which is a good thing... only... I imagine it'll puddle soon enough.
Squish is whining. I'm gonna bond with the pup before heading back to bed.

::: posted by tinafish at 5:55 AM :::

Saturday, July 17, 2004 :::

Just A Geek

I just finished reading Just a Geek (and yes, I know the links are differnet). I really enjoyed it. It went by really fast.
David's mom came over today, to bring by another one of those little air conditioners you stick in a window. Whenever his mom's here there's no use me even saying anything... so I just sat on the couch and picked up the book (THANKS AGAIN JASON!!! *HUGS*) to read a few pages.
The first one she brought buy had some damage so they went back to home depot to return it and get a new one. I turned the tv off and really had a go at the book. They got back... and got the unit installed... and did something to the other bedroom here too. Next thing I knew David's mom and uncle were heading out the door.
And then I was done with the book. A very pleasant way to spend a couple of hours. Seems every time I read something... it just reminds me how great it is to just... Read.
To take my mind off all that's going on in my life and allow myself to be transported into another world... a world that is exactly how I imagine it, not following someone else's rules.

Also nicc got me The Book of Merlyn, which is "the unpublished conclusion to The Once and Future King." And we all know The Once and Future King is my ~absolute~ favorite book in the world. So since The Book of Merlyn is the conclusion toThe Once and Future King, I've really gotta re-read The Once and Future King.
lol. If only I could find my copy. Guess I'll run by my house and dig around my bedroom here in a few.

So I'm wearing this bra that has those see through plastic straps... it's rather uncomfortable. I mean, it's literally strips of plastic sticking to my skin.
Enough about my undergarments...
Check my moblog for a pic of david working on the ac unit.

::: posted by tinafish at 5:27 PM :::

View my Moblog

::: posted by tinafish at 1:17 PM :::

*looks at watch*

how'd it get so late? last time I looked at my watch it was 10 after 0200.
kinda funny... all it takes is david's mom wanting to come over and the two of us clean nonstop for hours.
We're not finished by any means, but it's a helluva lot better than it was when we got back from the movie.

Speaking of the movie - I loved it.
lol. Seems lately I've been loving most everything... wonder if it has anything to do with my overall feelings.
Really though... the cgi's were great. I had a really good time just watching it. I think my favorite part was this one scene where Will Smith's character is being hassled by the CEO of some company... the CEO's saying blah blah blah blah blah. And Will Smith sneezes. Then he says, "I'm sorry - I'm allergic to bull shit." That really made me just kinda sit up and laugh.

So anyway... I'd wanted to go on a date last night with david. I'd invited him to dinner at the olive garden... I picked out a skirt and shirt that still fit me decently, and some black heels... I was gonna curl my hair and even put on makeup. And I was gonna be smart and funny... witty yet suave. And he was gonna fall in love with me all over again.
Turned out things went to shit. But in the end we had a good night anyway.
Possibly better than I had hoped for.

I'm dead tired. it's almost 0530.

::: posted by tinafish at 5:12 AM :::

Friday, July 16, 2004 :::

"We're in another galaxy... how much more out can you get?"

That's my favorite line from the series premiere of Atlantis.
One of the doctor's is fussing that he never makes friends like Teyla (she's the native to Pegausus chick). That other smart but obnoxious d00d says "you oughtta get out more." To which the doctor responds, "We're in another galaxy - how much more out can you get?"

So about the premiere...
I loved it! I really did. Like... better than I had expected. I didn't wanna get my hopes up 'cause you know how things always end up being a disappointment if you're all stoked about them.
I almost wish we weren't gonna head out right now to watch I, Robot so I could sit here and watch it again.

Eek! Lucky peed on one of the boxes that I ~still~ haven't unpacked.
Looks like he's banished too now.
David said he'd give each of them one chance but if they peed on ~anything~ they'd not be allowed to roam the house. He's really stoked about finally being in a place that isn't all gross from the dogs doing things we'd rather not have them doing all over things and in places we'd rather not have them doing these things in.
Squish lost his priveledges the first day - he decided to pee on the bed.
So we'll see if david really banishes lucky... if he doesn't then I'm letting the squish run around too. Which I guess is kinda dumb, but for the most part if we remember to close the door to the bedroom the squish won't be doing anything wrong. Just the other day I caught him thinking about peeing on a throw pillow, so since then I've not been letting him run around.
A couple of days ago I caught Lucky trying to pee on one of the boxes (a different one than the one he got today), but I yelled at him when he started to lift his leg so he didn't do anything. But this evening I was so enthralled in the Atlantis premiere that I didn't notice 'till a commercial came on and I saw him going 'round for another pass.
*shaking head*
I yelled at him when he picked his skinny leg up, but he'd already gotten it the first time.

Oh! David just pulled up!
Time for the movie!

::: posted by tinafish at 9:59 PM :::

"Do we know this shrub?"

omg... that's my absolute favorite line from this season's premiere.
rofl. When Dr. Weir's telling O'Niel about their new CO, he's like... "do we know this shrub?"
It just cracks me up every time I see it (this is the 3rd time now).

Well I guess that's all I wanted to say. I'm really stoked about blogger working again, so I guess that's why I'm all up posting again.

::: posted by tinafish at 7:53 PM :::

amazing animal videos

I C&V'ed this from the conv I was having w/ david this afternoon.

wow there's this dog that's doing back flips
rofl there's this dog that's jumping up to grab a tree branch... and he's just hanging there in the tree
omg this other dog that likes to go down in a submarine, and he likes to skydive!!!
and he has goggles to wear too!!!
oh well there's a grasshopper the size of a hotdog, not a roach. At first I was totally wigging out 'cause I thought it was a roach.

and that's the end of the amazing videos I wanted to post about. I don't really remember anything else... And after that I was watching Animal Emergencies! These poor animals. like... omg. I felt ~so~ bad for them.

I'm hungry. I'm gonna eat my salad from last night.
Atlantis starts in like... 10 mins!!!

::: posted by tinafish at 7:40 PM :::


yay! blogger is working again!
turns out since their update they've been having issues with different browsers, and safari and mozilla/firefox happened to be affected.
I went through and re-added the one or two line posts I'd been making.
I'm probably gonna blog like majorly here in a while... but for now I'm watching a re-run of the stargate sg1 and flipping back to vh1's I love the 90s on commercials.
97 is on right now, so this is the stuff that was going on when I was in high school.

I've been wanting to blog about the day my father left my mother, about how I felt last night... about the amazing animal videos I was watching earlier...
I'll get to that later.

we're gonna watch I, Robot tonight, after the Atlantis series premiere.
I joined netflix yesterday - anyone got any suggestions about movies I should watch?

so anyway... those new volvos are pretty nice.

::: posted by tinafish at 7:05 PM :::

still trying to fix it...

got rid of the icon, the feed, and the feed link... hoping it'll work now?

::: posted by tinafish at 2:38 PM :::

blogger's giving me hell

body of posts still not showing up...

::: posted by tinafish at 12:59 PM :::

Thursday, July 15, 2004 :::

ok so like... wtf?

All that's showing up is the title to my posts...
I emailed blogger so maybe they'll be able to tell me what's up.

::: posted by tinafish at 5:00 PM :::


nicc you are ~the~ awesomest!!!

::: posted by tinafish at 1:12 PM :::

yay! I'm up early!

I'm gonna go grab my friend lus and go out for brkfst... we'll probably go work out too.

I couldn't find the black light last night, so we didn't end up taking it to the apt. I shined my little flashlight up on the ceiling and then we turned off all the lights, in hope of seeing the drawing and being able to remove it using that crayon eraser stuff.
We started to scrub, but it's a textured ceiling and bits of it started to come off.
So the next tenants may get a bit of a shock.

I re-caulked the tub last night, only I didn't do a very good job of getting rid of all the stains before applying my strip of caulk. Taken alone my strip looked fine, only the previous strip was loads wider... and since I didn't get rid of all the stains you could still see some of them.
and I got caulk on my favorite shirt and jammies, so I had to wash it out in the sink... so I was wearing sogging clothes on the way home.

I'm gonna join netflix as soon as I can. I'm not real sure how it works... mostly I wanna use it to rent all the star trek episodes, stargate episodes, and other assorted sci fi shows. Also, I'm hoping they have McGuyver (sp?) 'cause I don't really remember anything about it except that McGuyver's now running the show on StarGate. w00t!
I was trying to convince david to get rid of cable and to get another netflix acct, but I just saw that netflix has more than just one rental plan. So I'm thinking I'll just get the $30 plan and really live it up.

That's gonna be my one splurge each month. Aside from that I'm gonna be paying my bills and pouring money back into my savings acct. And it's really gotta be more than just a thousand in savings. I went through that really quickly. I'm not sure how much, but it's gotta be more than that.
Also I've gotta start saving money for Christmas presents. I've already decided what I'm gonna get david for christmas... depending on how much money I want to spend will only determine the size of the gift, not what I'm giving.
I'm not sure what kind of benefits convergys offers... or if they even offer benefits at all. But yeah I should be doing loads better now that I've got a job. I'm gonna try to not be like, just buying things 'cause I have an income again. What I really need to do is get myself out of debt, that way if something like this happens again I won't be slammed into such a tough spot.
And also... since I'm serious about joining the Peace Corps, I need to start saving to pay off my school loans when I graduate.

I'm listening to Limp Bizkit right now... haven't listened to them in aaaaages.

::: posted by tinafish at 7:35 AM :::

my evening in 60 seconds

read some che.
caulked the bathtub in the apt while david got rid of the crayon markings.
my neck is sore from being pressed up against the wall.
got caulk on my favorite set of jammies.
david was supposed to be in bed at 0100.
0130 isn't too bad.

::: posted by tinafish at 1:37 AM :::

Wednesday, July 14, 2004 :::

fuckin' 'ell mate!

I'm sore. everywhere. My biceps and triceps, my forearms, my shoulders, my back, my pecs, my inner thighs (???), my quads, my hamstrings, and my calves.
And my feet are still tired.
It's like I woke up still exhausted. I haven't mustered the courage to start unpacking.
I couldn't hardly get the toothpast lid to open... so I'm not sure how much good I'd do trying to unpack things.

I'd like to take a breath and thank all of you that've been there for me. I know most of you think I'm gonna regret doing this... but honestly I think I'd regret just leaving more.

well... think I'll eat something and then try to motivate myself to unpack.

*still exhausted*

::: posted by tinafish at 11:19 PM :::

yay I have an icon!

well... it shows up on my computer....
dunno if it'll show up on other comps....

and I've syndicated my blog... feel free to subscribe using whatever aggregator you favor.

I'm so sleepy. I'm still sore and I've been doing laundry all afternoon.

nicc's back! yay!

ok gonna go back to stargate now.

::: posted by tinafish at 5:26 PM :::

/me exhausted

utterly exhausted.

I spent the afternoon packing the rest of the things at the apt. And then, because I was provoked, I carried the boxes and all the other stuff down myself, loaded my cab with a few things in my bed, and hightailed it outta there.
Well, I was fixing to, anyway. I had called my friend lus to help me carry the boxes downstairs - they weren't absurdly heavy just very large and difficult to manage... so it made them seem heavier than they really were.
There were painters there working on the outside doors of the apts... one of them seemed to take a liking to me... made some comments and stuff... was saying there should be a man helping me... then asked if I needed help taking the boxes downstairs (since I was just standing there waiting for lus)... I was like, "thanks for offering but I'm just waiting on a friend." and then he was like, "I can help you ~now~".... so yeah... I kinda wigged out and carried all the boxes and all the other stuff downstairs by myself. By the time lus got there I was all loaded up so we just chatted for a bit and then he had to run off to employee health to get a tb test read.
So I waited for david to get home before unloading my truck, since it was literally packed with junk.
After that we were heading out to clean the apt (can you believe he wants his security deposit back?) when his mom called and invited us over for supper. We had pizza while david helped them set up their new computer.
Then we went out to the apt, where david transformed into a slave driver.
honestly I've never cleaned so much in my entire life, much less at one time.
he vacuumed and steam vacced while I cleaned the bathroom & kitchen and mopped anything with tile... and also I got to clean the dirt off the walls and baseboards. The mop attacked me at one point, so my right thumb has been throbbing all night (still is, btw).
I was cleaning the fridge when his friend Chris showed up and mentioned that I could take the drawer out of the fridge! I was like, "That's BRILLIANT!!!" And it was.
I couldn't get the VeggieCake off the closet door, so we stopped by walmart to grab one of those mr. clean eraser thingys, only they didn't have any, so we ended up with something similar.
Then we ate at ihop, and I had more of those heavenly cream of wheat pancakes. *drooling* They're great.

The Squish is laying here on the couch next to me. He's on his back, with his little paws in the air... and he's biting his nails.
*shaking head*

So now I'm all showered and ready for bed.
And I'm ~exhausted~.

g'night y'all.

::: posted by tinafish at 2:33 AM :::

Tuesday, July 13, 2004 :::

so I haven't been updating...

I had a ~really~ rough weekend... but things are looking loads better now.
I got a job at a local call center - only I'm not sure what I'll be doing. lol. But it's a job and I'll be able to pay my bills again, which is great.
David and I are... working things out. I'm going to like... pay for something here... and that way... I won't feel like I have to leave if he's upset at me, ya know? Probably not too much... but something none the less.
We watched king arthur last night. I liked it loads, but I'm biased. That is my absolute favorite story. My favorite rendition is The Once and Future King, by T.H. White.

I got an email from some d00d who works w/ a politician... that Stenholm d00d. I don't know much about him, so I went to his website... He's standing where I like him to on most things listed, which is nice.
I'll make a quick plus/minus list.
- supports "traditional" marriage
      not that it's a bad thing, don't get me wrong. But I feel anyone who loves another person has the right to marry. what better reason to enter into that kind of commitment than love?
- pro-life
      again that's a good thing, except with all the teenage pregnancies and stuff like that, especially in this part of the state... killing a baby is not a good thing, but I don't think it's much worse than bringing a baby into a world of poverty and sickness.
+ social security needs help
      no joke.
/ more medicare reform
      old people need help, it's true. I just don't care too much one way or the other. I imagine my stance on that'll change in the future, but for now... it's not something I'm gonna spend too much time worrying about.
+ support for teachers
      without teachers... where the hell would we all be?
+ veteran benefits
      these poor d00ds...
+ strong national defense
      I'm hoping this doesn't mean he was all for the patriot act, but a strong defense is always good.
/ energy policies
      I don't have a clue about this stuff.

So anyway... those of you in this part of the state check his site and make your own decisions.

::: posted by tinafish at 11:43 AM :::

Friday, July 09, 2004 :::

ok like... wtf was that?

I just now got back from the "interview."
Only it wasn't really an interview!
It was a test... like a computer test... simulated calls.
*rolling eyes*
So I passed the test and got to fill out an application.
I have a real interview on Monday.
I'm gonna change, eat, then head over to my house to grab those boxes.

::: posted by tinafish at 11:55 AM :::

damn the squish!

that little demon chewed up the cord to my curling iron... how am I supposed to do my hair with no curling iron?
damn that little dog!

We spent all last night packing... well not ~all~ last night... We were watching wrestling after eating hot dogs, but we both managed to fall asleep before the main event.
Anyone care to tell me who won? John Cena or Booker T? I guess I could just look it up... I probably will, after I get back from my interview. In which I will be flaunting flat hair!
So the bathroom and hall closet are all packed up. So is the living room and most of the dining area. I'm gonna go home and get some plastic storage bins to put all our clothes in, so for the most part the bedroom will be done this afternoon. I'm refusing to step foot in his closet... for obvious reasons. *sigh* He's gonna have some of his friends help him move the couches this evening, even though he knows stargate's 2 hour season premeire is on tonight!
This place looks disgustingly empty. Especially the bathroom. With all the ducks on the tiles and tub gone... it looks generic. Unused. Empty.

Well, I better go put a face on. One of my friends a while back said that I look weird with makeup on. Girls, that's how you know you're just one of the guys. When instead of complimenting you they wig out.

::: posted by tinafish at 9:24 AM :::

Thursday, July 08, 2004 :::

I've got something in the oven!

oh my goodness my stomach hurts.
I just at 10 plums. I'm not sure what came over me... I didn't want them to spoil and they're right at that ripe sweet goodness.... oh they were delicious!
but yes... now my stomach hurts.

my sweet potato is in the oven now. I looked at loads of recipes online but I couldn't find what I was looking for, so I decided to just give it a try at 375 degrees for an hour or so. I checked on it at the half hour mark, but it still seemed really stiff. It's been about 45 mins now... so I'm hoping I don't botch it up. I (and by "I" I mean david) bought some brown sugar to put on it... plus the cinnamon we already have. I'm really looking forward to eating this.
well, I am a bit worried... remember how my corn turned out?

David's wanting to work at apple. That'd be awesome.
I'm gonna hold my belly now 'till it's time to check on my sweet potato again.

::: posted by tinafish at 3:46 PM :::

job hunting

I applied at convergys today... I have an appt w/ them tomorrow to take their little computer exam thingy... I keep hearing the job's crap and you have to deal w/ loads of stuff, but if it's a job then it's a job.
I also applied at target today... that was weird... they do their apps online... and this old mexican lady was standing right behind me very angrily waiting her turn... which is weird. Ya know?
I'm working on baking my sweet potato... I hope I don't burn it. I've been yearning for one since that night at the park. See, I don't like eating things that I can't see, ~especially~ when I'm outdoors. There's no telling what could've been in my sweet potato once the sun went down and I couldn't see what I was shoveling into my mouth.
I promise I'm not psycho about stuff like that... just it's kinda creepy.

::: posted by tinafish at 3:19 PM :::

well there you have it...

david took my phone today. he left his and took mine. big mix up.
I was supposed to be taking boxes over to the house today... looks like he forgot to leave the keys.
and I'm up early.
I'm sure glad squishy has floppy ears.
David gave me the audio version of eddie izzard's circle last night. I haven't listened to it yet, but I think I'll put it on while I go back to sleep. only... I probably won't be able to go back to sleep if I'm busy listening to the show.
so NIN it is!

::: posted by tinafish at 8:31 AM :::

bales of boxes!

ok so like... we need boxes to move... and like... we were looking for some... and we found some... at target... bales and bales of boxes!
We didn't stop 'cause they wouldn't have fit in david's car... but mostly we didn't stop 'cause david's afraid of getting busted.
So I'm gonna try to get a crew together tomorrow to go grab a bale of boxes!
David almost bought me an isight today. We were at the mall to buy some cherry lemonade (after we were at home depot) when he decided to go by compusa... He was gonna buy 2, one for me and one for him... so we could cam when he was working or out studying... but compusa only had 1 in stock. That really burst my balloon... so that was the end of that.
We were at home depot picking up more blinds. Also we picked out a sink and sink fixture... only david did a friend of favor so now he's short on cash. So we didn't buy the sink or sink fixture.
What I don't understand is why he's willing to charge $300 for 2 isights when it'd only be ~ $80 for the sink and sink fixture.
guess he just wants a new toy.
the sock ninja is sleepy.

::: posted by tinafish at 1:18 AM :::

Wednesday, July 07, 2004 :::


so like... I just got off the phone w/ someone from cox. It was a phone interview. I got really nervous and started mumbling and stuff.. I really have ty psych myself up for interviews.
I had just gotten out of the shower, too. So I had my hair up in a towel, and the towel was over my ears... and I was like... dripping water through the apt as I was looking for my phone.
I'm seriously hoping they'll call me for an interview irl. Oh gawd it woudl be ~awesome~ to have a job again!

Well I've gotta walk the dogs before david gets here; we're gonna go to home depot for more blinds, I'm guessing. I'm gonna try to talk him into buying a sink fixture - the one in the bathroom is literally falling apart.

I ate all the shells and cheese!

More new socks for THE SOCK NINJA!!!

::: posted by tinafish at 5:12 PM :::

.o(I love shells & cheese)

I made myself breakfast... a couple of nectarines, shells and cheese, and here in a few I'm gonna make myself a sweet potato for dessert.
I'm pretty content right now, aside from the fact I woke up ~really~ late. Again.
mmmmmmm... pulpy orange juice.
I really am pretty stoked to just sit here listening to man� eating shells & cheese and drinking pulpy orange juice.
I'm trying to get a hold of david to find out if he wants me to save him some shells & cheese... otherwise I'm gonna eat this whole thing!
It's ~really~ good. I've been watching those sprint commercials where they're talking to the kids about going over their macaroni minutes. I've been wanting mac & cheese for a while now, mostly 'cause of those commercials. I forgot about the shells & cheese in the cabinet 'till now... so now I'm eating them.
gawd this is ~good~ stuff.

David was wearing that Oscar the Grouch tshirt I gave him yesterday. He got paint all over it. He really oughta just wear one shirt when he's gonna paint. One pair of pants too. *shrug* Whatever works.
Guess I'm gonna watch the Bourne Identity again. I like it loads.

::: posted by tinafish at 3:10 PM :::

lanforce & terminal

went to lanforce for an hour or so w/ my friend ForSaken and his roommate Mike. I got romped. We played some serious sam and I got killed like 500,000 times! Also we played Age of Mythology... and I was getting killed there too. Mike's comp kept giving us garbage, so the guy there kept adding time to our tab. lol. That was cool, except david said he wanted to watch terminal @ 2245.
So I left lanforce @ ~ 2230, which is the time we'd have left the apt, and since the apt is like 2 seconds from lanforce... yeah.
Aside from that, it was a good movie. I really liked it.
I made a s'more for david just now... only he didn't want to eat it. He doesn't like chocolate. So I ate it.

I want a laser straight.

I'm watching jay leno - that chick from bride of chucky is on. She's such a nut.

::: posted by tinafish at 2:22 AM :::

Tuesday, July 06, 2004 :::

killed for vagrancy in Jerkwater, USA

I'm watching rambo. I ~love~ his knife.
David still isn't home. I called him ~ half an hour ago to see where he was... I dunno. I do take some solace in the fact this won't be happening for the rest of my life. I'm still kinda agitated, though. If I wasn't so damned broke I'd go watch a movie. I might go anyway... if he's still not home when rambo's over.
I'm bored out of my mind.
I've been going through people's profiles and such on all those ichat sites I joined.
I was gonna go to this adult youth group with aj, but I had to meet my brother and such for "dinner" before they went back to dallas. His wife's pregnant again, so this'll be their 3rd kid... another boy. Their oldest is Jasmine... she's real frail looking. She's gonna have to toughen up soon enough. lol.
I see parallels btwn my & my 2 oldest nephews and most of the other grandkids. Like I'm the youngest child, but at the same time I grew up with my 2 nephews so it's really like I'm the oldest grandchild. kinda. There's me, then my nephew dopey and my other nephew sambo. Dopey's a few months younger than me, and sambo's about a year and a half younger than him. My neice Sandra is a few months older than my nephew naters, and a couple of years older than her brother Pabs. Then Jasmine's older than Michael, and her new brother (when he arrives) will be the third person. Only she's 3 years older than michael and he'll be 3 years older than the new kid. Also there's Gordys - she's a little younger than Jasmine, but doesn't fit into this comparison.
So all in all there are 8 grandkids, 1 more on the way... and there's me too. And there are my 4 sisters plus 1 bro-in-law and 1 ex-bro-in-law plus his new wife, there's my bro and his wife, my dad and his chick, and my mom. And there's "me and david" too.
Loads of people to buy gifts for at christmas time, and that's only my immediate family.
So I'm still bored. David's still not home and Rambo's almost over.
I think I'll go watch Terminal.

::: posted by tinafish at 7:42 PM :::

(I'm not ~just~ a sock ninja)

(I am also the s'mores QUEEN!)
I made s'mores for the first time today. And is did an awesome job!
I decided against trying to get the grill started up (to roast the marshmellow) so I got the graham cracker and put some chocolate on it and stuck it in the microwave for like 10 seconds then put the marshmellow in too and microwaved for another 8 or 9 seconds... and they turned out great!
I took some pics... but transmit's giving me some garbage so I haven't been able to upload them to the net just let.
I made 5 s'mores... now I'm all s'mored out.

::: posted by tinafish at 5:26 PM :::

/me still sleepy

I was dreaming about getting married... to The Mask. And to match him I painted my face green... but then I was having such issues w/ my eyeshadow - since I use a brown color scheme. And I was in my mom's house... and was actually talking to my sister Cammie and I was in my bathroom. Really weird.
The dress was beautiful, though. Like a cross btwn mary jane's dress in spiderman 2, my prom dress, and the dress I wore to BoB's prom. Only I'm ~really~ not sure how it could have been a cross btwn all of those, but I promise it was.
We went to walmart after midnight last night, and were there 'till almost 0200. Then we gave one of david's friends a ride home from fox & the hound. Sam gave us a load of nectarines and plums. Also, he's gonna be letting this d00d move in w/ him... and the d00d really reminds me of this guy I dated. It's kinda eerie 'cause he has the same hands, the same eyes, the same look in his eyes, and the same mannerisms. So anyway.
I need to get my butt up and showered and head out to that call center.
ooh! I can make smores for breakfast!

::: posted by tinafish at 1:29 PM :::

Monday, July 05, 2004 :::

From Stargate to Atlantis

I just finished watching the lowdown w/ david's friend chris.
David's off playing risk at some of his friends' apt.
So anyway... Yes. I'm ~very~ excited about the new season. Also, I just realized how much stargate I've really missed. This will be their 8th season... and I just started watching this past year!
I've got so much catching up to do!
I'm fixing to check and see if netflix has stargate seasons. That'd be cool.

I saw some pictures of david's dad today. David's the spitting image of him. It's weird, really. And funny too, 'cause he doesn't think he (david) looks exactly like him.

Tomorrow I'm gonna go apply at the local call centers. I'm hoping I can find someone to drag out with me.
So anyway... I'm really tired. I think I'm gonna take a nap 'till david gets back so we can go to the grocery store.

::: posted by tinafish at 10:05 PM :::

as long as he likes it

I ~really~ like the way david looks like this:

Here's what david looks like now:
(taken yesterday)

What really matters is what he likes... and since he'll be bald soon he oughtta jack with his hair while he still can.
just... I ~really~ like the way he looked with his last haircut and glasses.
But it's his hair. And he never wears his glasses anyway.
All that matters is if he likes it.

::: posted by tinafish at 7:52 PM :::


gawd I'm beat. We were working on the house again today... I spent most of my time digging all the bricks out of the yard. Well, I didn't dig them all out... apparently the front yard is more wall than grass.
My entire upper body is sore.
David put up the blinds we bought on saturday. It was pretty obvious he'd never done that before... he was fussing the whole time about how difficult the directions were.
ooh! food's here!

::: posted by tinafish at 6:44 PM :::

crap of a night

well we did loads of stuff... and the night went to hell. I just know david's friends are gonna blame me for him not going to the bbq. And I guess it is my fault.
My dad invited us to spend the day with him and his chick at this park in town. When I talked to him last night he said he'd be there @ ~ 1300 so I told him we'd probably show up @ ~ 1400 or 1500. I didn't wake up 'till ~ 1430 so that was shot to hell.
My ipod's been giving me garbage so I reformatting this morn... er... afternoon when I woke up. And it gave me garbage for a good hour after that.
We finally got all dressed and ready (I had to change like 3 times 'cause I knew my brother was gonna tear into how much weight I've gained & how bad my skin has gotten) and then had to go over to david's mom's.
blah blah blah
We got out to the park @ ~ 1800. We had a ~really~ hard time finding my dad, though. We parked on the side of the road and had to crawl through a hole in the fence. While we were eating I rememberd I forgot to get the camera down, so david gave me his keys. My bro and the kids got there, so we did the whole "this is david..." blah blah blah. and then I was whining so david brought me back to grab squish. Turns out I had forgot to lock his car (my truck locks automatically) so he was kinda itchy 'bout that - with good reason, though.
Once we got back we ended up getting this crap parking spot on this piece of land that was kinda "V"-ish. And we all know squish is a pretty friendly dog... and by friendly I mean he won't bite you 'cause he's busy hiding behind me. lol. So all these people are up in poor squishy's face trying to pet him and stuff... I ate a roasted corn and a baked sweet potato... david had some nachos... oh and I had an orange soda! I love orange soda.
The guys were calling him to go to the bbq by the time we got back from grabbing stuff to eat... so about 2100. David wanted to leave early to beat traffic, but I wanted to see the fireworks. So we stayed 'till ~ 2215... and about everyone at the park decided to leave at the same time we did. David's not a real patient driver so it was... I dunno. When we were backing out of our parking spot it sounded like something had gotten caught... I mentioned that to david... that he oughtta check it out or something...
@ ~ 2300 we finally got out of all the traffic and pulled into a gas station. His bumper had pretty much fallen off. We got it back on... well he got it back on. I just stood there in the rain.
He had been in a big rush to get over to the bbq... but I insisted he bring squish home. By the time we got home... david...
He said he didn't want to go to the bbq.
And like I said earlier, his friends all think it's 'cause of me. He got something like 5 or 6 calls from all of them...
And it is my fault.

we watched along came polly... well I watched it again, and david watched it for the first time. Now the secret window's on. F1 and F2 came by earlier... gave us some plums and nectarines.
David's fallen asleep again.

I talked to my last best friend (let's call him LBF) again today. It's weird... we used to be really close... and now... well we're not anymore.
I'm so tired.
I talked to the ex earlier too. I'm watching the secret window right now... I think I mentioned that already... anyway... I feel like the rltnship I have is like the one the wife has with johnny depp's character.

So anyway... it's late. I'm still planning on blogging about the conv w/ LBF... I'm just really tired right now.
Happy 4th of July.

::: posted by tinafish at 2:03 AM :::

Sunday, July 04, 2004 :::

happy 4th of july!

so with david being done with school we rented some movies - I picked the bourne identity, and david got along came polly and secret window.
We spent the day w/ his friend Chris. He's an interesting fella... way geekier than david. lol. That's not saying much. About the only geeky thing david has going for him is that he's a "computer guy," whatever that means. Chris is a real stargate buff, so we get along pretty well.
We went to home depot earlier to pick up some horizontal blinds for the house, and we're gonna put 'em in sometime tomorrow. Also he got me a garden claw, but it was like pulling teeth so I didn't even want it anymore.
I don't think david's gonna make it through the movie... and he's mad at me for being like I am.
I'm surprised he didn't invite any of the other guys.
I'm taking music of Chris's portable drive... it's gonna be a while.
I hope it's done by the time the movie's over.

I talked to my last best friend this afternoon... I'll blog about that tomorrow, since I've got a bit to say.
so anyway... gonna watch the movie while this stuff copies.

::: posted by tinafish at 12:31 AM :::

Saturday, July 03, 2004 :::

/me bored and hungry

David is at his mom's spending some time w/ Coco and watching Barbershop.
I talked to him earlier, a few mins after I woke up... he said he did alright on his final. So one more class!
*�ber stoked for him*
I sincerely hope all his dreams come true.

I signed up for another ichat thing, ChatFinder, last night. I actually had an ichat user message me late last night, some d00d who saw my profile in I hate to say this, but he wasn't real interesting. Or maybe it was me. I can be ~real~ cranky and unreceptive if you approach me in the wrong way. But I did try to cut him some slack, since I ~really~ wanna make friends on ichat.
One of the profiles I filled out last night asked me... something about my goal in life.
I wanna be happy more than I wanna be "successful." I want to come home to someone I love, and I want that someone to love me. I want to be happy with the work I do, even if it doesn't buy me all the... luxuries of life. I want to be able to wake up every morning, get out of bed, and know that at least on some level what I'm doing with my life has made a difference.

So anyway... I didn't get to sleep 'till after 0630 this morning. I was supposed to meet my sister when she got off work, and I was so afraid I was gonna miss her call. And I did. I must've just fallen asleep when she called. I missed something like 12 calls, which is really weird. I don't usually get so many calls. Apple's been calling me lately, but I'm not sure why. Seems I'm always missing their calls... and whenever I call back I get a recording saying they were contacting me for... (they give a list of reasons). I'm guessing it's about the applecare protection plan (for the g3) and I really would like to buy it for r00, but right now I really can't afford to.
I'm hoping I get a job.

Well guess I'm gonna get my butt off the couch and shower. David should be here soon - picking me up to go work on the house some.
.oO(he never did get me that garden claw)

::: posted by tinafish at 2:31 PM :::

can't sleep the clowns will eat me

seems I use that title every time I can't sleep.
I saw it on a postcard in hot topic way back when... I think I actually sent it to my last best friend as a Christmas card. heh.

I was watching that show Las Vegas earlier... they said something about tourists getting the fever.
*rolling eyes*
The reason I don't date guys who drink is 'cause the last thing I need is for a guy to have that damned excuse "I was drunk." I can't stand it when a person doesn't own up to the shit they pull. Since drinking lowers inhibitions it makes people do things they wouldn't normally do. But it seems to me that if you're doing it when you're drunk then you must be wanting to do it on some level.
So if you wanna be doing something don't hide behind anything just go right out and do it.
according to me, anyway.

I am so bored. I've actually read every article in this month's macworld (and by this month I mean august. lol) and I've read all the articles of every subscription I have in NetNewsWire. Now it would seem I'm just waiting for someone to IM me so I can talk about how bored I am.
I joined this thingy called to meet people who use ichat. When tiger gets released I'm definitely gonna be doing some video conferencing w/ anyone willing to watch me (assuming, of course, that I've got an isight by then). But I don't like being on cam for people I don't know, so I'd like to make some friends now and work up to multi-video conferencing.
I'm also a memeber of and I briefly flirted with joining I am in no way comfortable enough with my body to walk around the house in my underwear, much less display my naked self for people I don't know.
Speaking of which... I'm going to apply at a call center here in town... supposedly it's really easy to get hired there, so Godwilling I'll get a job. And if I do get a job, or whenever I get refund money back from school, I'm gonna join a gym. There's a lot of frustration and other stuff trapped inside me... and I could certainly use some extra endorphins floating around. I think I'm gonna join the same gym as my friend Lus, so I can have a work out buddy. I do hope that at some point I'd be confident enough to go to the gym by myself, but for now that's just not gonna happen.

Well I'm gonna surf for a while... when sleep comes I will sleep.

::: posted by tinafish at 4:00 AM :::

so marlin brando's dead.

The only reason I know who marlin brando is is 'cause of Vogue, by Madonna.
Marlin Brando, Jimmy Dean... On the cover of a magazine
Yeah... I was watching Entertainment Tonight earlier, and they did this whole bit on Marlin Brando. I had no idea he was the old d00d in Godfather. And well... I've only seen the first one real late at night aages ago. And also, david ~never~ told me he was that one d00d in Superman!
So yes, he's dead.

I've committed a crime.
I'm using serial numbers instead of buying software.
Pixadex, Net News Wire, and... ok that's it. But I'd be using a cracked Candy Bar if the serials had worked.
I feel so gross.
As soon as I get a job I'm gonna buy these things.
I feel that's important.

Dammit!!! David is such a turd!
We're watching star trek (tos) and some klingons are trying to take spock away, and Kirk blurts out, "He's no spy!" and david busts out (impersonating kirk) "he's my lover!"
*rolling eyes*

So anyway... big day tomorrow. My bro's in town.... such fun...
David's got his final tomorrow, then we're gonna go work on the house some more.
bed time.

::: posted by tinafish at 2:16 AM :::

Friday, July 02, 2004 :::

more than just a comment whore

looks like I'm also a menu bar whore.
check it:

here's my whole desktop, so you can see it in context.

think I'm gonna turn off some of my junk up there. I really don't need the whole OS9 thing... or the speaker volume thing... or the fast user switching (since I'm the only one who uses my comp).... everything else I actually use really often or it's a prog I'm running. Hm... I could get rid of the ichat status indicator too.
Ok. I'm gonna go back to reading macworld and then I'm going to bed. Unless I start actively reading every article... in which case I'm tapping out @ ~ 0200.

::: posted by tinafish at 1:07 AM :::

Thursday, July 01, 2004 :::

like the fool I am

yes, I am taking another chance with the hopes of finding that love I've been looking for.
David and I are giving it another round.

I am afraid.
But for the chance.


This was like a negotiation. He will make a list and talk to me. I will not require him to dump that friend of his. And date night has been reincarnated into "just us time" that will be one hour a week with no tv, no computers, no phone, and no friends. Time for just us (as you might have guessed).

we will see what my subconscious mind thinks tonight.

::: posted by tinafish at 10:29 PM :::

like the fool I am

david stayed up 'till ~ 0530 last night working on his stats project.
I, the fool that I am, felt obligated to stay up too.

I have not been sleeping well. I sleep very little, and very uneasy.
I am still having nightmares.

I am deathly afraid of roaches.
If I was superman they would be kryptonite.
There was one in the apt last night, and I started screaming and crying and acting like a fool.
David killed it.

I dreamt about time travel again, and this time my screw up sent us to a place in time, some sort of alternate reality, where roaches were the dominate species on earth.
I woke up flailing my arms and legs - I hit lucky and he yelped pretty loud.

I hate my life.
I am thinking of moving back to houston; of transferring to UofH or maybe the community college up there. I need to get away.
I am going home this weekend. So I guess I should be packing.

::: posted by tinafish at 4:15 PM :::

not better the second time

Saw SpiderMan 2 again tonight, w/ one of david's friends.
It was kinda weird.

One thing that's killing me... all of my friends are pretty shocked things were like they were btwn david and me.
It would seem all david's friends are surprised he's put up with me so long.

On one hand, I am not the woman he needs me to be. On the other hand, he is not the man I need him to be.
Part of me wants to just give in; to forgive and accept.
Everything is forgivable, but not everything is acceptable.

::: posted by tinafish at 2:28 AM :::