Monday, February 28, 2005 :::

time out for a giggle

"Peace, love, and Linux" makes me think of a guy with excessive facial hair in a tiedye t-shirt, shorts, and sandals saying "You can't use that distribution MAN" "You can't like, own an OS, MAN"

I'm still feeling pretty gross, but that made me feel better for a little bit.

::: posted by tinafish at 10:43 PM :::

my unfounded fear

I was doing my chore for the night - vacuuming. and I had to vacuum the back part of the building... back as in far away from where we work. and since we're the only ones here right now...

I have what I've come to realize is an unhealthy fear of the dark.
I have those glade plugins w/ the nightlights in my bedroom... it's a fairly small room, and I've got 3 of them.
I use candles and such, too. not necessarily all at once, but I remember this one time adrian was complaining about the nightlights, so I unplugged them... and lit 3 candles.
I used to hate going to bed alone at night. When I was younger BoB and I used to call each other right around the time I'd go to bed... and we'd stay on the phone 'till I'd fall asleep. Even now, I do that. I'll call whoever and talk a bit 'till I'm insanely sleepy.
and I sleep most comfortably during the day. I'm not sure why... you'd think I'd sleep at night so I wouldn't spend my waking hours surrounded by darkness... I dunno.
When I have to take out the garbage here, one of the offices I have to go to is down at the end of a dark hallway, and the room also is dark. and I'm not sure what I'm expecting to happen... but I always kinda brace myself while I grope around searching for the light switch.

As far as I can recall I've never really had a bad experience... nothing that would make me afraid of the dark.
but I am.

::: posted by tinafish at 7:58 PM :::

people do the wierdest things...

I went over to my sis's for a while last night. when I left here there was a red eclipse w/ the driver side door wide open.
no big deal, right?
when I got back (about an hour and a half later) it was still sitting there, door wide open.
kinda odd, but not my place, right?
I went out to the mailboxes a while ago to mail off my netflix dvds, and it's ~still~ sitting there w/ the door open.
I notice now that it seems the door handle (on the outside) is broken off.
I'm going to bed now. if I can stop sneezing long enough to doze off.


::: posted by tinafish at 7:43 AM :::

Sunday, February 27, 2005 :::

happy birthday dirty dan!!!

today's dan's bday.
I thought about calling him now... but I figure he won't much appreciate that.
so I've gotta remember to call him when I wake up.

*ties string around finger*

::: posted by tinafish at 6:49 AM :::

Saturday, February 26, 2005 :::

they may be on to something

I've gotten steadily worse since my smoking escapade last weekend...
doke got me some vicks vaporub today.
I have full use of both my nostrils for the first time in days.

you know, sometimes I worry about myself. Like... the whole scifi aspect of me...
how instead of going out last night I stayed home to watch tv.
But I saw trekkies & trekkies 2 today.
I'm ~so~ normal.
finished that off w/ st:nemesis, and now I'm watching the crow.
think I'm gonna force doke to watch the hunted w/ me here in a while.
for the most part all I've done today is get out of bed, shower, and lay on the couch.

oh - dunno if I mentioned this yesterday, but I was aching for some peach cobbler.
doke went out to pinkies (a liquor store) for lunch - bought us some bbq sandwhiches & peach cobler.

::: posted by tinafish at 11:15 PM :::

a skyscraper of yum

So tonight was my first temptation.
and I survived.
ok so I wasn't too tempted... I gave kurt my number but he didn't call 'till late. I didn't get started 'till ~ 0200 tonight, anyway. ended up chilling w/ javier and watched teh scifi block on the scifi channel. then I picked lus up & took him home... then we went to walmart.
Actually before walmart we stopped at ihop.
at david's ihop.
And the language lady was our waitress. I'm really glad she didn't mention anything to me... I'm guessing david got the brunt of the comments from the ihop crew.
still I was really nostalgic... remembering all the time he and I spent there.
when we left I asked her to say 'thank you' in wookie.
she ended up going through this long process of getting us 'thank you' written in some african language so lus can sound like a tool in some d00d's native language.
We had the never ending shrimp... and it kicked both our asses. And our waitress is a trip - she brought us 2 more servings after we'd told her to stop... and I didn't hardly eat any off my last serving... so I ended up bringing home nearly 3 full servings of shrimp & fries.
at least I have a microwave now.

javier and I are kinda wigging out about furniture that we don't have.
doke said we could keep his loveseat & coffeetable 'till we got our own or he moves out of lubbock.
hopefully we can get some soon.
I dunno... doke's still really nice to me... only...
I just wish he didn't have those feelings for me.
maybe if I keep acting the bitch he won't.
... maybe I'm not acting.

anyway. lus & I bought ~ $150 worth of crap at walmart (btwn the two of us).
I bought the hunted on a whim, and lus picked up the great escape and half baked. the hunted has been on my wishlist for a while, so I can finally take it off.
also I bought a couple boxes of cherry vanilla dr pepper. I'm pretty stoked. I haven't tried one yet, but I'm hoping they'll live up to the ones at sonic. also I picked up a microwave, which I've ~seriously~ been needing for a while now.
I've spent a lot of money shopping today. guess it's a good thing I didn't go out drinking.
I certainly can't afford to do both.

::: posted by tinafish at 6:02 AM :::

Friday, February 25, 2005 :::

My Trip Home

so I got some of the pictures from my trip uploaded... those are the top 48.
only 48 since that's the max per album I can publish using homepage.
I'll get them uploaded to my /photos/ folder...
and I promise I'll work on getting an index page up!
I'll seriously try to work on it this weekend, but it turns out aaron's gonna work on saturday so I don't have to.
so yeah... I say I'm gonna work on it... but I dunno.
since I don't have to work tomorrow now I have the option of garage sale-ing to find me a couch!

::: posted by tinafish at 8:12 PM :::

my dad's such a nut

so javier (the anarchist hippy) came over this afternoon to check out the apt.
I showed him the posters I bought (I'd been flirting w/ moving into a one bedroom apt, so I bought posters for my future living room.) and he thinks they're cool, so they're still getting put up.

my sis called me for lunch, and since javier and I had been planning on going out for tacos I took him with me.
funny thing - my dad was convinced javier is my d00d. and get this - our waiter was convinced too!
yeah... I guess my dad didn't expect javier to understand spanish, 'cause he (my dad) was talking some smack about him with our waiter.

And I picked up my pictures (the ones from my trip to the rgv) today.
I'll work on uploading them tonight.

::: posted by tinafish at 4:52 PM :::

I better write this on my arm

I told the married d00d I'd work for him tomorrow...
I think I'd better write it on my arm, otherwise I'm gonna forget.
I'm gonna stick to the whole I'm-not-drinking-half-my-paycheck-away idea. Lus and I are supposed to play scrabble tonight.
I've never played scrabble before.

the anarchist hippy is supposed to come over today to look at the apt.
I don't think doke realizes I have alarm clocks.
or maybe he just doesn't realize I know how to set them?
oh! it must be that he doesn't realize when I say "morning" it just means anytime before I go to work (I hafta be there @ 1600).

So anyway.
Dan's bday is on sunday.
he's spending the weekend w/ his chick & his parents.
I'm ~totally~ taking him out next weekend.
guess I'm gonna hit the shower, then.

::: posted by tinafish at 12:42 PM :::

Thursday, February 24, 2005 :::

coffee is yummy

but it makes me sleepy.

Since we're not allowed to use space heaters here (at work) anymore, I decided to make coffee to keep warm.
Only I've never had to measure out the coffee stuff... grinds... right? whatever they're called, I've never had to measure them out before.
and the pot didn't say how many servings it holds...
I should have stopped there.
but I didn't. It didn't say, so I asked around and supposedly coffee pots usually hold ~ 10 cups.
So I opened up the coffee powder holder, and there's no measuring cup/scooper thingy inside.
so I guessed.

And I don't have a coffee mug, so I ended up using those big styrofoam (sp?) cups... not really big, but about 2 coffee mug's worth of coffee fits in each one.
I've had 3 cups. so about 6 mugs.

and instead of being wired, I am totally content.
all warm and fuzzy inside.
and ready for bed.

::: posted by tinafish at 8:40 PM :::

that is not cat turd

so I was chatting w/ roger this afternoon before work, and he said something really funny, and I burst out laughing.
and the scab on my lip tore. and I started bleeding.

now I'm here at work, and we're talking about boondock saints, and the vg comic strip I linked to.
and I'm trying desperately hard not to laugh, since I don't want my lip to start bleeding again.

then the chach whispers to milkdud.
and milkdud grabs a mouse and starts doing the whole mouse-chasing-cursor bit that always cracks me up.
then he did it in bullet time, too.

I promise it was funny when it happened.

::: posted by tinafish at 4:24 PM :::

radioactive vomit is gross

So work went by really slowly.
I was bored... and it occurred to me that mr. justin (who had my vote) is just too busy.
so that was that.

I went by the hospital to shoot the bull w/ lus for a bit.
about 0030 I went up to HC4 to chill w/ my sis & her crew.
I stayed 'till ~ 0330.
I had a really good time.
I hadn't intended on really eating anything, but I ended up having a slice of german chocolate cake, gummy bears, lots of coffee, girl scout cookies, onion rings, half a burger, and a strawberry milkshake.
I'm such a glutton.
*shaking head*
my sis & my friend marleen are supposed to come over in the morning to watch the boondock saints.
I dunno if they'll like it, since they're kinda "proper" and um... there's a lot of cussing in the movie.

So I got home about half an hour ago... and it looks like doke's already started packing.
his poster and picture that he kept in the living room are both taken down.
it looks weird.

I was kinda hard on him earlier... but it's complicated.
I've come to be kinda resentful of him... at first I was grateful, since I probably wouldn't have survived the break up if not for him... but... I was damaged goods, ya know? I really didn't care. what kind of guy would date someone who has no reason to get out of bed everyday, aside to consume large amounts of alcohol? someone who is constantly crying over someone else, and spends every waking moment wishing things were different?
The more I think about it, the more angry I get.
So I try not to focus on it.
Only... that's not the only run in my pantyhose.
there's also the way he treats my friends, among other things. He just barely tolerates them... and tends to give the guys the stink eye.
When he moved in I promised him I wouldn't bring any guys (that I'm interested in, not my friends) over if he did the dishes, cleaned up around the apt, and took out the garbage. At the time I thought he was getting the short end of the stick.
I dunno. I know it's not my place to judge.... lord knows most days I'm still hung up on david.
just some days I'm not. Some days I'm happy with who I am and I just wanna sit at home and shoot the bull about how my day went and who I'm thinking about.
I guess I just don't understand how this all happened.
I remember I used to think he was a nice enough guy and a good friend.
and now?
now I'm looking for a new roommate.

and before you go forming opinions, keep in mind this is only my side of the story.
and a very censored version, at that.

::: posted by tinafish at 3:57 AM :::

Wednesday, February 23, 2005 :::

double fun!

so I've got 2 awesome bits of news!
I've been talking to a friend of mine... WF1 from convergys, if you recall.
he's an awesome guy and I thought I'd show him to ya'll!

he's so awesome ya'll!

I've found a new roommate!
the ever popular anarchist hippy!

::: posted by tinafish at 7:20 PM :::

oh how ~incredibly~ unattractive

I went to see Constantine w/ Kurt earlier, and then we ate at whataburger, and then we went back to his place and talked 'till now.
poor guy's gotta be at work in a couple of hours... I stayed 'till his alarm went off.
he seems like a really cool guy, ya'll. even though he rejected my pick-up line.

at work last night aaron kicked my chair and I jumped - biting myself in the process.
and it's been bugging me all night.
I continued to bite at it and in an attempt to stop biting it I'd hold my finger to it...
now I've got this huge welt.
it's disgusting.

I always make such awesome first impressions.
*rolling eyes*

constantine was cool.
the effects were awesome.
keanu reeves is still not my favorite actor.
so anyway... go see it.
/me commands you

::: posted by tinafish at 6:19 AM :::

Tuesday, February 22, 2005 :::

gotta love vg cats

wrong on so many levels.

::: posted by tinafish at 9:17 PM :::

chloraseptic is my friend

I woke up ~ 0630 with an evil cough.
and I had the ~weirdest~ dreams last night.
one of them involved slave, another involved justin, another involved dirty dan & gina....
just weirdness all night/morning.

I woke up ~ 1300 with a madd sore throat.

so now I'm back to carrying around a bottle of chloraseptic.

I wanna say that smoking on sunday night is what got me feeling this way. even though I felt fine all day yesterday.
I don't think justin got me sick, since I don't think this is what he's sick with.
so yeah. it was me smoking.

I made a hundred dollar payment on my sprint phone.
3 more of those and I'll be back in business.

::: posted by tinafish at 4:22 PM :::

there's a difference, you know...

I try to use these words accordingly, not interchangeably.

adj. mad�der, mad�dest
1. Angry; resentful. See Synonyms at angry.
2. Suffering from a disorder of the mind; insane.
3. Temporarily... deranged by violent sensations, emotions, or ideas.
4. Lacking restraint or reason; foolish.
5. Feeling or showing strong liking or enthusiasm.
6. Marked by extreme excitement, confusion, or agitation; frantic.
7. Boisterously gay; hilarious.
8. Affected by rabies; rabid.

tr.v. frus�trat�ed, frus�trat�ing, frus�trates
      a. To prevent from accomplishing a purpose or fulfilling a desire; thwart.
      b. To cause feelings of discouragement or bafflement in.
2. To make ineffectual or invalid; nullify.

just for future reference.

::: posted by tinafish at 3:36 PM :::

and there was a FIRE FIGHT!!!

the cable's not working, but no harm.
because it's down I get to watch the boondock saints!

I was having an ~absurdly~ frustrating day... and I was getting kinda snappy and bitchy and all...
then I talked to justin for a bit... maybe five minutes at most... and then I was ok.
it's crazy.
he makes me like... stupid happy.

I finally ate that canadian smoked salmon that marleen gave me.
doke doesn't like seafood and threw a fit about the way it smelled... so he ran off to get us some burgers while I ate the salmon.
I didn't eat all of it, and he's probably gonna kill me when he opens the fridge and gets the smell.

and I'm exhausted again.
must be all the food I've eaten today.

and it's come to my attn that there will be a sequel!
Boondock II: All Saints Day
thanks kurt!

::: posted by tinafish at 1:47 AM :::

Monday, February 21, 2005 :::

the everlasting bacon

tim's officially quit smoking.
it's been aaaaaages since his last craving.
we're all stoked for him.

*stoked for teh chach!*

::: posted by tinafish at 8:51 PM :::

better sooner than later

I was talking to my friend slave last night, about the whole roommate situation & me quitting drinking.
he's dared me to quit today.
more of a request, really... he's been awful worried about me since I started drinking.
So I may as well.

I mean... the reason I had such plans to get trashed today is 'cause today would be my & david's anniversary.
but it's obviously not.
(times like this I'm really glad I decided agst buying
So it's not our anniversary today, and I was gonna drink myself into oblivion because of it.
But you know... I'm really not as bad as I used to be.

I used to drink every day w/ the sole purpose of forgetting about him for even just a couple of hours.
And it's true what I used to say - my problems are still there when I sober up. But it's so nice to be able to just not worry about anything for a while... a little vacation every day.
Now I don't drink near as much - twice a week at most. As opposed to a few months ago when I'd wake up and have a couple of drinks right after I'd brushed my teeth, and I'd keep drinking throughout the day.
I was really bad there for a while.

Now I'm not so bad.
I go out now for the company. And I can keep doing that, even if I stop drinking.
At least, I think I can.
And with the money I save on not drinking I can finally start working on that wishlist of crap that I want.
so wish me luck, ya'll.

here's to a sober tina.

::: posted by tinafish at 1:17 PM :::

back to square one... again.

doke & I talked about our living situation tonight.
we both agree it's not working out.
so now I'm looking for a roommate.

I may end up just looking into a one bedroom apt.
'cause I don't know if I wanna keep going through the whole I-need-a-new-roommate thing over and over again.

So I'm gonna stop drinking tomorrow.
Since I'd already made plans for today (Monday) I'm gonna stick to them, but no more after that.
I need to start watching where I spend my money... and I've easily been spending a couple of hundred dollars a month on liquor... so I'm gonna stop.
having a place to live is loads more important than getting toasty.

So that's that.
it's been long enough.
it's about time for me to clean up.

::: posted by tinafish at 4:14 AM :::

Sunday, February 20, 2005 :::

my pinky is bruised

it started hurting yesterday after I laced up my boots... was kinda swollen.
I washed my hands earlier and thought I'd just done a horrible job of washing up... but no. my pinky has a bruise on it the size of a quarter.
and it hurts.

I finally sat down w/ topher and got my massage.
I feel awesome - like I've just come home from the gym.
and my shoulder doesn't hurt anymore!

I'm gonna watch the rest of stargate and then I'm going to bed.

::: posted by tinafish at 10:51 PM :::

I miss dirty dan

I got to spend some time w/ Justin yesterday.
he seems like a really cool guy. really goofy and kinda sweet.
and I like him.

When he came by to pick me up, I was really nervous. I was afraid that he'd be a complete tool and that the only reason I liked him was 'cause I was drunk at the time.
but he's really cool. and we have stuff in common. and we disagree on some stuff.

I had ~so~ much fun w/ him yesterday.
We went to ihop, then to a park, then to pour house, then to walmart, and then back to pour house.
I felt kinda bad since he's sick and I was dragging him around, but for the most part he didn't seem to mind.
And Lus got to meet him, which is never a bad thing.
Just I wish we could've just chilled somewhere... watched some tv or played video games or something.

Justin left pour house a few mins after we got there (the 2nd time) to go home and go to bed.
so it was just lus and me for a while... then lus's cousin kevin showed up...
I had a really good time w/ them.
Hayden gave me an incredibe hulk (or something - it was green, that's the best I can do)
we went to rosita's after closing... I didn't eat anything.
I ended up getting sick.

When I got home I just went to bed instead of staying up & watching a movie w/ lus.
speaking of lus, he's on his way over.

::: posted by tinafish at 1:44 PM :::

Saturday, February 19, 2005 :::

"I still love you, even though you drink now."

that's what my sister told me.
can you believe it?
I mean... it's not like I killed anyone.
or hurt anyone.
not even myself.

not yet, anyway.

Well I've had another wonderful evening.
I didn't get trashed, but I had a lot of fun w/ Lus at the Pour House.
Weird thing - we kept getting asked if we're dating.

anyhow... gonna watch special features from Clerks now.

::: posted by tinafish at 3:56 AM :::

Friday, February 18, 2005 :::

paint me green and call me gumby...

... I'm at work.
(that's aaron's away message)

omg I'm so hungry!
we've ordered from Jason's Deli so hopefully I won't have to wait too long before I get to eat.

and it's cold in here.
I'm wishing I'd brought a jacket instead of just a sweater.

So hopefully tonight I'll get an index page up for my photos folder.
and Lus mentioned that he wants to go to a tejano club tonight? weird.
we're gonna start out at pour house, though... and we'll probably end up staying there all night.
not that I would mind going to that tejano place. There's only two types of music I dance to - tejano and country. So if we do go, maybe I'll be able to drag lus out to dance. that'd be a lot of fun.

well I'm gonna sit here and stare at the ceiling while waiting for the delivery guy.

::: posted by tinafish at 5:36 PM :::

round 2

so I redid the whole /photos/ folder...
the index page is still blank, but it'll link you to the different albums, if you're interested.

now that that's done, all that's left is to make an index page.
I dunno how long it'll take me to get that done, though.
I've kinda not been spending too much time working on my site.
and since tomorrow's friday... lol - most likely I'm going out.
actually I just remembered dan & gina are coming into town... so yeah, I'll be at Pour House.
'till closing. and I think dan & gina are staying here...
or something.

I'm ~so~ bad at planning ahead.
speaking of which... I want a couch that turns into a bed.
I need to go couch shopping.

::: posted by tinafish at 6:27 AM :::

I just don't think stabbing him is the solution

I was supposed to go out tonight...
but it didn't work out.
justin's feeling gross & doesn't want me to get sick too.
I dunno how to take that.

I mean... I really hope he's not just making stuff up.
I've never been shafted before.
and I ~know~ that sounds awful cocky.... but most times guys are just....
I dunno.

I've been talking to a friend of mine...
he thinks this is pretty funny.
of course, he also thinks I want to bed him.

I'm surprised how bummed I am.
I wonder if it's 'cause I've really been looking forward to chilling w/ him... or if it's just my pride talking.
I did have a really good time w/ him on monday.
guess we'll see.

I'm gonna stay up watching stargate... and then glumly go to bed.

::: posted by tinafish at 12:22 AM :::

Thursday, February 17, 2005 :::

the best part of waking up... is spike

so I've been sitting here enjoying my daily dose of star trek & macguyver, and I saw another preview for that movie I mentioned earlier...
and I thought I'd share the link w/ ya'll, since I'm pretty interested in it.
Ong-Bak and Ong-Bak trailer
the previews say "now playing," but I checked my local cinemark theatres, and it's not up.
since it's an independant film I guess it's gonna be a bit harder to track down.
guess we'll see.

hm. apparently it was released back in 2003.

anyhow... back to macguyver.

::: posted by tinafish at 2:02 PM :::

this is not show and tell

I just got home from having lunch w/ my sis...
and I took the sword up there so she could see it...
and gawd she acted like it was show & tell.
it was kinda embarrassing.

It was nice to spend some time up there, catching up and all.
I'd planned on stopping by to see Lus, but I changed my mind.
I was supposed to go buy doke some stuff, but I didn't.


so lus is supposed to come over in the morning.
I'm awful tired now.
think I'm gonna snooze a bit before he comes over.

not like there's anything on tv anyway.

::: posted by tinafish at 5:11 AM :::

Wednesday, February 16, 2005 :::

a name in your recollection thrown down among a million same

doke's feeling sick. I'm supposed to pick up some soup for him.
it's the least I can do - he was awful nice to me when I was sick.
I'm really tired. Guess I didn't sleep enough today.
or maybe just 'cause I'm at work and I'm bored.

I deleted the half-assed photo gallery.
I'm working on getting something else up there.
I had big plans on getting that done tonight... but I dunno.
I went through and created different albums & tried to leave out more pictures than I'm putting in, so at least that's done.
methinks I'm gonna use photoshop & automate another few galleries... then just worry about making an index page to link them together.
yeah... that sounds like a plan.
so I'll automate & upload tonight, and hopefully I can get the index page done tonight too.

I'm absurdly hungry tonight. I haven't eaten since... yesterday.
my sis said she's got a carne guisada plate for me, so I'm gonna stop by the hospital before I go home.
Actually I should probably go home first, so I can pick up the sword adrian gave me for christmas. She's been wanting to see it.
My sis is a big Highlander buff. I've already decided what I'm gonna get her for her bday - a Duncan MacLeod action figure.
I'm pretty sure she'll like it.

::: posted by tinafish at 11:03 PM :::

but we're all professionals!

here are some things we talk about or can be seen at work:

going on a wild lagoose chase
the evil ethernet snake
believe you can fly!
get optimized yo!
I need more cowbell!
special attack chinese drink holder!
I gave a hand job.
I like alt 227.
porn wars
donkey punching the jesus fan

too bad they don't worry about mixed company.
*rolling eyes*

::: posted by tinafish at 5:43 PM :::

yay! (not ya)

so I finally fixed my comments.
and jordan is a turd.
(can you believe he asked me to change "jordan" to "milkdud"? I think he likes his nickname!)

but yes! my comments are working.
great fun.
I dunno why I was fussing about it... not like anyone comments anymore anyway.
*hint hint*

the guys I work with used to comment on my tagboard, but I got rid of that since it takes so long to load.
I may add it back in later on, though.
or not.
I've still gotta change my links color. I wanna go back to that purple I had, but that's kinda hard to read. So I dunno.
guess I oughtta work on it more regularly.

::: posted by tinafish at 5:04 PM :::

a dove so pure

I saw this preview a few mins ago... some movie (obviously)... something about "mortal combat" and I think the movie name was something like Omna... something?
said it's now playing.
I'm gonna hafta watch for that preview... hopefully I'll remember to run a search at work.

r00 over at 2gk just made his first podcast last night.
it's ~so~ cute!
if you get the chance check it out
and since it's his first podcast, leave a comment for him.

I hate those tejas motors commercials.
stupid cactus boy.

::: posted by tinafish at 2:27 PM :::

will you hose me down with holy water... if I get too hot?

I had a friend of mine tell me that I'm not caring anymore.
it's like.......the fire of passion is dying out in you, and you're apathetic towards everything emotional
and when that fire dies out, i think one of the best qualities about you is going to die out too

(says he)

I dunno.
but I've been rolling it around in my head for the last hour or so.

So that guy I went out w/ that night... that Justin fella...
when we were out I told him I'd be upset if he didn't email me.
and then when I sobered up I thought I'd be upset if he did email me.
gosh. We chicks are nuts.
but he did email. and we chatted a bit. and we're supposed to go out on thursday.
fancy that.

I'm gonna check on my laundry. and then I'm going to bed.
I know it's early yet, but I did wake up @ ~ 0730.
so it's hour 21 right now.

::: posted by tinafish at 3:53 AM :::

Tuesday, February 15, 2005 :::

uh oh

so my comments are gone.
I'm working on getting them back.


::: posted by tinafish at 9:01 PM :::


I'm bored at work so I decided to go through and check all my email accts.
I got an email saying some folks had responed to my personal ad on yahoo.
so I decide to check it out.

this FIFTY YEAR OLD MAN emailed me saying something about how he's dated a few 22-yr-olds and that he's a lot of fun and blah blah blah.

also assorted ice breakers sent, but I don't bother with those.
A couple of guys said I'm wrong about my tekken statement.
lol - one even said he'd hand my ass to me if we played.
another guy said I'd pwn him, but that he'd romp me if we played socom 2.
I guess he thinks he's good. or something.

sorry just the people that respond are always such goobers.
and not in a good way.

::: posted by tinafish at 5:25 PM :::

Milkdud is a Goober

and I'm not talking about candy.

::: posted by tinafish at 4:51 PM :::

well it's certainly not what I expected, I'll tell ya that.

I went to pour house last night like I had planned. I met up w/ this fella that I've chatted w/ before... his name's justin.
we were both there to just drink a bit and wallow in self pity.
I ended up having a really good time w/ him. he really does seem like a good guy.
and he claims he'd beat me @ tekken tag.
supposedly we're gonna get together on thursday or friday.
guess we'll see, eh?

I was a bit trashed so he brought me home last night - meaning I left my truck @ the pour house.
Lus came over after work to give me a ride to my truck, and so we could go out for brkfst.
Lus wanted to go to Ranch House, and they don't accept credit cards, so we stopped at united so I could use the atm.
We walked in... and I saw David's mom.

Part of me wanted to run up to her and give her a hug. the other part wanted to run and hide.
I did the latter.
David's her only child.
and I fucked it all up.
it was nice while it lasted, eh? I just wish I'd spent more time enjoying it than fussing about when it was gonna end.

So anyway. I'm watching an episode of tng on spike... the d00d who plays Tuvok is in it. and he's a bad guy.

::: posted by tinafish at 1:00 PM :::

Monday, February 14, 2005 :::

so it's not so bad

not yet, anyway.

I stumbled out of bed towards the bathroom to wash up... I opened my bedroom door and found a box of twinkies & a long stemmed rose... along w/ a note from doke.
thank you.

After I washed up I poured myself a glass of orange juice and logged on to check my email.
I got a nice letter from my friend David Fraga.
while I was writing back I got a couple of messages from one of my best friends, Rob (he's my valentine this year). he logged off before I could respond, but it was nice of him to wait around for me.

I also got a few IMs from javier, roger, robert, and a few people I don't know.
thanks guys!

so hopefully today won't be so bad.

I kinda broke down saturday night/sunday morning.
I'd been going through my iphoto library. about 95% of the photos I have involve something me & david did together.
it was not going well.
I called lus ~ 0630 to see what he was doing... I ended up going to pick him up from another afterparty... then we just jacked around 'till ~ noon.
I'd planned on going to sleep early... but each time I started to doze I started dreaming.
I ended up finally falling asleep ~ 2100. And I was supposed to give lus a ride to his car before he went to work, but I didn't.
wish I was more dependable.

and now I'm gonna watch MacGuyver.

hopefully I won't get too smashed tonight.

::: posted by tinafish at 2:03 PM :::

Sunday, February 13, 2005 :::

early valentine

gotta love drew

::: posted by tinafish at 2:02 PM :::

the gallery does not go well

I ended up going to bed ~ 1400 or so...
I got tired of waiting for photoshop to finish creating my gallery...
so I cancelled it and decided to upload what it had already done.
here's a link: half-assed photo gallery

now the only reason I'm evening mentioning this is because I decided to go through and clean up my iphoto library.
a while back I dloaded a photo album prog... but I set it up wrong and it just made a whole bunch of duplicates. So that's what I was cleaning up.
Only... I spazzed out... and accidently deleted originals instead of duplicates.
what were the pics of?
my 21st bday party.

But there is a bright side.
Because I started the photoshop album ~before~ I went through cleaning out my iphoto library, I'm hoping my bday pics'll turn up there.
So I we'll see.

::: posted by tinafish at 5:08 AM :::

Saturday, February 12, 2005 :::

I can admit when I'm wrong...

we watched boondock saints again.
I'd ~totally~ do the younger brother, if he had the older brother's accent.
or even with his accent.

And we just watched Raging Bull!
OMG - I ~finally~ get that "you fuck my wife?" bit in Eddie Izzard's Dress to Kill.
Lus is just broadening my movie culture horizons.
I was watching Crossing Jordan the other night and some d00d made some reference to that ending scene in The Graduate... the part where Ben is banging on the window yelling, "Elaine!!!!"
thanks lus!

had a fairly good time at the pour house.
there's too many people there on the weekends, ya know?
and the kitchen was closed when I got there, so we ordered pizza.
the highlight of the night was when the domino's delivery guy walked in, and one of the guys sitting at the bar is a pizza hut delivery guy...
it was great.
we played that bar trivia game, and the pizza hut guy was taking it ~way~ too seriously.

we made a walmart run @ ~ 0430 or so.
bought a crapload of stuff.
but nothing I didn't need.
heh - a lot of fishsticks.
we did a blind taste test btwn Gorton's and Mrs. Paul's...
I could pick out my Gorton's, but um... Mrs. Paul's was better.
But it was like comparing a pair of awesome brand new shoes to my amazing old worn out broken in sneakers.
so yeah. Lus has made a convert of me.

And with that said... Lus'll be heading home soon and I'll be going to bed soon.
and doke'll be waking up soon.
fancy that.

::: posted by tinafish at 9:18 AM :::

Friday, February 11, 2005 :::


mark actually got me 2 tshirts off my thinkgeek wishlist.
you're such a sweetie mark!
you oughtta come visit sometime!

so yes... now I've got 2 new shirts.
and they're both awesome!

*dancing around in underwear*

I wanna watch rambo.

::: posted by tinafish at 5:36 AM :::

thanks mark!

one of my friends from back home got me this tshirt for valentine's day:

So I made some changes to my main page...
it's got hotspots instead of text links... 3 of them... just fyi.
I guess it's dumb to say that... since you've obviously made it this far.

I've been watching Kill Bill v1.
Lucy Lui is hot.

So I think I'm done jacking w/ this for a while.
I'm gonna watch stargate now. I think. my netflix movies came in tonight.
possibly the boondock saints again.

and yes... that sign is in latin.
And yes, Chris, your IQ is off the charts.
way waaaaaay down there.
I mean up there.

::: posted by tinafish at 3:25 AM :::

Thursday, February 10, 2005 :::

which do you feed?

An old cherokee is teaching his grandson about life.
"A fight is going on inside of me," he said to the
boy, "it is a terrible fight and it is between two

"One is evil - he is anger, envy, sorry, regret,
greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment,
inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego.

"The other is good - he is joy, peace, love, hope,
serenity, humility, kindness, benevelance, empathy,
generosity, truth, compassion, and faith.

"This same fight is going on inside you - and inside
every person."

The grandson thought about it and then asked his
grandfather, "which wolf will win?"

The old cherokee simply replied, "the one you feed."

::: posted by tinafish at 4:33 PM :::

it's nina!

I want this....

and it comes w/ a tekken 5 demo!

yeah... I know. I'm a goober.
But I loves tekken!

::: posted by tinafish at 5:00 AM :::

Wednesday, February 09, 2005 :::

there are no car chases in books, eh?

Nemesis is on.
and I watched a bit of matrix revolutions.
/licking lips
have you heard that song? by liz phair... that one line says something like, "licking my lips, need a primitive fix..." and some other stuff.

It's been an... interesting last few days.
Lus and I... well... we shouldn't get drunk together. We have the... most cynical conversations.
Saturday night, after his gig, we came back here. He drank half a bottle of special reserve all on his own. I drank a lot that night too - 10 shots at bleachers... but I didn't drink when I got home 'cause my throat was so damn sore.
He was more than a bit drunk... and with this being February I'm not in too great a shape either...
we had a long talk about... assorted things... talked about how awful a world this is... how we all have to focus on the few rays of sun in the bleakness.
and we talked about our faith. or lack of, really.

And I kinda picked a fight w/ doke tonight.
tomorrow's ash wednesday. big catholic day.
neither one of us (doke nor I... actually lus too) are big on being catholic right now.
I forget what term lus used, but doke called himself a "non-practicing catholic," like it's a hobby or something, and not a way of life. After we talked a bit it seems he's agnostic.
I think it's odd he should still refer to himself as catholic.
It's not my place to judge his beliefs. Especially since right now I'm close to having none.
I've taken to just saying I was raised catholic.

I keep trying to resolve this. I keep trying to find my faith, or that happy medium I spoke of just last year.
I still want to get a theology degree. That's been my goal for a while. The whole nursing thing was just gonna pay for school, ya know? I still wanna go back to St. Thomas... but I'm starting to think it will never happen.
At this point I just wanna get some bullshit degree and join the peace corps.
I'm tired of just wasting away.

Speaking of wasting away..
I've been working on an image for my main page. I've got to get that pic of david kissing me off there.
It breaks my heart just to look at it.
Anyway. I'm not sure what I'm gonna do with it. I've got most of it figured out, just working on the details now.
I wish I had a digital camera. Instead of googling for images I could just snap my own shots. That'd be awesome.

Well I'm gonna take some more cough medicine and then go back to drooling over shinzon.

::: posted by tinafish at 5:51 AM :::

Tuesday, February 08, 2005 :::

unable to enjoy the apple pie goodness...

chloraseptic is quite the double edged sword.
I'm not coughing now, and my throat isn't sore...
but I can't feel my tongue.
,', I can't taste my apple pies!

::: posted by tinafish at 6:21 PM :::

Monday, February 07, 2005 :::

there is a reason I password protect my computer

every time I walk away from my computer I either close it (forces it into sleep) or turn my screensaver on. Both of these actions require a password to log in once it comes back up.
Tim, on the other hand, does not.
but he probably will from now on.

Tim took his computer out and then walked off.
unfortunately for tim, his computer does not require a password.
the jesus fan came over and set tim's homepage to and then ran off.
when tim found it none of us took blame, but aaron turned a shade of purple from laughing so hard.

also happened today... richard, aka chino, has been running around for the last 3 hours working on something...
and he's just leaving... saying he's trying to get out before our owner can set him to doing something else...
and we decide to call him & pretend he's still needed here.
I got blamed for that one... I mean... I guess I did mention it.
but in my defense tim is the one who called.
*points at halo*

and I've got my hood on. apparently today is the day to stick things in my ears.
I've been reading assorted star trek trivia on and I notice aaron pulls up right next to me and then I kinda see josh pull up on my right side...
I make sure my hood is secure and then I look at josh...
who has a pen in either ear, his tongue sticking out, and a stapler on his head.

I love working here.

::: posted by tinafish at 8:38 PM :::

see now... this is what I'm talking about

have you ever heard me talk about psycho trekkies?
'cause I mean... they're out there.
And this is what I'm talking about ->
In the episode "Relics", Scotty (guest star James Doohan) visits the
bridge of the Enterprise from "Star Trek" (1966) on the Holodeck. A
fan who recreated a life-size version of the bridge set generously
donated it for use in the episode, as the original set had long since
been demolished.

*shaking head*
psycho trekkies, I tell ya.

::: posted by tinafish at 7:57 PM :::

Sunday, February 06, 2005 :::

comma bitch

great fun tonight.
Bleachers was a lot of fun - got to meet dirty dan's chick.
hayden showed up, which was awesome.
so did demetrius and lus & doke and I are here at my apt...
and now D wants to use my comp.

::: posted by tinafish at 5:10 AM :::

Saturday, February 05, 2005 :::

never fails, eh?

seems I always wake up after only a few hours of sleep after a night on the town.
Lus and I went to Pour House last night... supposedly just to see hayden, sheila, and harry potter for a bit before we headed out to the depot district... we ended up staying 'till closing.
Lus and I were both sober 'till last call... we had 4 drinks at that point.
we were talking w/ some guy... I dunno... matt or something... I was only chatting w/ the guys on commercials - Hayden set one of the tvs to the scifi channel for me. I watched SG1, Atlantis... I chatted through galactica, but went back to watching when tos came on.
I love that bar! I mean... how awesome is that? I went out drinking and still got to watch my favorite shows!

what else? we both dropped ~ $20... lus left a $15 tip... going there is always a bargain.
Then we went to denny's to visit RJ... and we sobered up a bit.
We made it back here ~ 0445 or so.

I probably shouldn't have gone out; I'm still feeling sick.
Actually I feel worse now... My throat is absurdly sore - I shouldn't have been smoking last night.
I'm gonna go search for my chloraseptic.

::: posted by tinafish at 7:46 AM :::

dedicated to: The Pour House

I Love This Bar,
by Toby Keith

We got winners, we got losers
Chain smokers and boozers
And we got yuppies, we got bikers
We got thristy hitchhikers
And the girls next door dress up like movie stars

Hmm, hmm, hmm I love this bar

We got cowboys, we got truckers
Broken-hearted fools and suckers
And we got hustlers, we got fighters
Early birds and all-nighters
And the veterans talk about their battle scars

Hmm, hmm, hmm I love this bar

I love this bar
It's my kind of place
Just walkin' through the front door
Puts a big smile on my face
It ain't too far, come as you are
Hmm, hmm, hmm I love this bar

I've seen short skirts, we got high-techs
Blue-collar boys and rednecks
And we got lovers, lots of lookers
And I've even seen dancing girls and hookers
And we like to drink our beer from a mason jar

Hmm, hmm, hmm I love this bar
Yes I do

I like my truck (I like my truck)
I like my girlfriend (I like my girlfriend)
I like to take her out to dinner
I like a movie now and then

But I love this bar
It's my kind of place
Just trollin' around the dance floor
Puts a big smile on my face
No cover charge, come as you are
Hmm, hmm, hmm I love this bar
Hmm, hmm, hmm I love this bar

We got divorcees and a big bouncer man
An old jukebox and a real bad band
We got waitresses and we got barflies
A dumb-ass and a wise-guy
If you get too drunk just sleep out in your car

Reason number 672 why

Hmm, hmm, hmm I love this bar
Play it on out boys
Beer-thirty's over
Got to take it on home

Hmm, hmm, hmm I love this bar
I just love it

::: posted by tinafish at 2:45 AM :::

Friday, February 04, 2005 :::

einstein's not the only one who cares about relativity...

I had the weirdest dreams last night.
It's all relative, ya know?

I mean... what I consider wrong and what someone else considers wrong...
and then...
ya know?
I mean... I can live with my views. and that doesn't make anything you do wrong. not just because I think differently about it than you do.

I don't think this is making any sense.
I thought about this the whole drive to work... and it made perfect sense... but I can't seem to translate my thoughts into words.

I was supposed to go out w/ my friend Lincoln last night.
I didn't.
I didn't even call to cancel.
He's probably upset.
but he'll get over it.

I went home last night...
I felt kinda gross.
my sis and I went to the oriental market next door last night... we bought some eggrolls, baked sweet peas, a bread roll, shrimp chips, loveletters, sweet and sour prunes, and yan yans.
I ate more than half the bag of shrimp chips last night, and I felt like I was gonna explode.
on a side note - I've thrown up on the last couple of guys I dated... I was threatening to throw up on tim last night... he made the thought-for-the-day "eek! tina's threatening to date me! somebody help!"
So anyway... I went home last night. Doke and I watched El Mariachi and Desperado.
after that we surfed infommercials 'till he went to bed.
then I chatted w/ Slave for a bit. and I went to bed.

I woke up in a coughing fit... I took some of that cough medicine I was taking when I had bronchitis.
I calmed down a bit and then started having those dreams.

I was going through my yahoo email a while ago... I was reading emails rob & I wrote to each other about 3 years ago.
Now I wanna send him a valentine irl.
he's such a sweetie.

Aw. my sis just brought me dinner.
/me loves orange juice

::: posted by tinafish at 5:37 PM :::

Thursday, February 03, 2005 :::

omg I almost suffocated!

my nose is back to being on strike so I hafta breathe through my mouth.
and I'm sitting here drinking water...
I almost suffocated!


tim & jordan have been raving about this gunk called zican... I'd never heard of it, but I'm willing to try it in hopes of using my nose to breath and smell again.

this is awful annoying.

::: posted by tinafish at 5:36 PM :::

Wednesday, February 02, 2005 :::

not even treading water

So I've got big plans for every monday this month.
I'm gonna get completely sloshed.
every. monday. this. month.
except the last.
so not ~every~ monday, eh?

I've stagnated... I'm not even too into the life I'm living now.
I feel like I'm too old to still be jacking around.
and my priorities are completely fucked now.
I don't really care about anything anymore.
and I'm too afraid to let myself care about anyone.

I thought about acquiring a guy for the holiday.
and dropping him as soon as the day passed.
or when it suited me.
I've decided not to.
wouldn't be fair, ya know?
not to the guy...
and not to me.

when all this first happened I was kinda angry at nicc...
but it's not all his fault, so I can't blame him.
all 4 of us were involved... and I made some shit decisions all on my own.
if any one of us had taken the time to just talk things through...
who knows how things could have turned out?
but we all know how things did turn out.
no use playing what-if at this point.

I saw BoB log on yesterday.
I closed my computer and walked away.
well, not literally walked away, but I made that choice - not to sit there and freak out.

I was thinking this morning of all the reasons I have to legitimize my wasted life to the world.
in the end...
in the end... all of it is just my life.
how I've grown up and all I've dealt with...
I'm still here. and it's still my life.
I can't blame other people for what I've done to myself.
and you can't regret anything you learn from.

maybe I'll feel better tomorrow.

::: posted by tinafish at 8:26 PM :::

"have u jumped his bones?"

sometimes I worry about the people I've chosen to be close to.

so Lus and I went out for brkfst this morning... had a good time w/ him.
I ~finally~ made it out to the mall to get that security tag off those pajamas I bought back before christmas.

now I'm gonna have a couple of glasses of orange juice before I go to work.

::: posted by tinafish at 4:39 PM :::

Tuesday, February 01, 2005 :::


so I'm half dead, I can tell.
I was feeling a lot better earlier, but now I'm back to feeling pretty crummy.

I'm really hungry, but I don't have any money.
that makes me sad.

I helped dan find stuff for valentine's for his chick last night.
that was kinda cool.
it kinda depressed me about not having someone to spend the day with...
I had a decent time last year... for our anniversary I got david that stock in apple.
there's no one to fuss over this year.
no one to love.


guess I'm gonna go back to watching tim eat.
too late - he's done.
he eats really fast.

::: posted by tinafish at 8:20 PM :::

it's snowing outside.

david's birthday is on monday.
the first time he told me he loved me it was snowing.

I feel a lot better this morning. erm... this afternoon.
I took some nyquil when I got home last night, and then promptly fell asleep.
I woke up early this morning and took some more nyquil.
then back to sleep.
and now I'm awake.

my throat's not near as sore as it was yesterday.
my head is still big & my nose is still gross, but manageable.

guess I'm gonna go get my package and leave my rent check.
back to being overdrawn.

::: posted by tinafish at 3:03 PM :::